I love my husband, & we have a good life overall; but we've had too many conflicts over the years & so much emotional hurt. I chose a situation that I thought would be good, but we really didn't know one another well. We thought that our love was enough. We didn't decide to wed on thought, but on feeling. That wasn't a smart move. We created a lot of hurt for each other. I think that most marriages are decided on that way, & many of them go bad. I'm curious what other people think.
2006-11-08 14:28:57 · 14 answers · asked by Rae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, conflicts arise even in the best marriage environments. They are just about inevitable as the changing of the seasons. None of these should discourage you at all, but they should be used to allow for mutual learning and growth. This also begs the question, how well do we really know another person, even before and after marriage? It could take years to even begin to figure a person out. If we used the knowledge standards to base marriages upon very few would ever occur. It is all about risk and taking a head first plunge into the unknown abyss. Oftentimes, that is what makes it work so well, that element of adventure and surprise. So in the end, just would out the differences as they arise, and see them as nothing more than temporary challenges. We all go through them, and should not permit them to bring our world crashing down. I hope that this helps. Good luck to both of you!
2006-11-08 14:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by Justin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right...most marriages are based on feeling rather than thought. That's okay though. You need to just work on it. Marriage isn't easy, and maybe too many people just give up when it gets rough. You need to communicate, compromise, and realize that neither you, nor your partner, is perfect. Also, go into a marriage with realistic expectations. I think quite a few young women think that marriage is all about the ring, dress, ceremony, and reception, and if all that is great, then their marriage will be too. Definitely not true! That type of marriage requires as much growth and process as a plain gold band and justice of the peace. And, yes, I would marry my husband all over again. I adore him, he adores me, and we've both become great people with the love and encouragement that we give each other. We have to work hard to maintain our intimacy and communication, but it is well worth it. I can't imagine my life without him.
2006-11-08 23:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by But Inside I'm Screaming 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be the wrong one to ask, because our situations sound very similar.
We have been married 18 years. It has always been all about the kids for him. Now our kids are grown and in college and I wonder what we'll do with all the years left.
I don't like being married. I am far too selfish and independent to make a good wife or mother.
So, no, I would not. At the very least, I'd take a few years to get to know him first.
2006-11-09 00:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by sparticle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would do it all again. There have been a lot of bad and hurtful times over the years but there has been even more of the good times. Hang in there honey. Loving people is never easy.
2006-11-08 22:38:02 · answer #4 · answered by ginyamarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would...and I did. For our twenty-fifth anniversary I said to my wife, "Let's renew our vows." and she said, "you plan it...I'll be there." I did and we renewed our vows. Our three children each had a reading part in it that I picked out, our grandson behaved wonderfully (he was 8). It was a really emotional time for all of us. The reason I planned the whole thing was when we got married, I was working a lot and my wife planned basically the whole wedding. I even did our wedding cake. Everything was just as it should be. would I do it again? In a heartbeat. a Marriage is what you make it and I got real lucky.
2006-11-08 22:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by steve_of_butler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hard to say. I still believe in marriage. I'm just not sure it's right for me. I have a tendency to pick the guys into cheating...my ex husband, and the guys with depression and alcohol and drug problems...my next ex. I have major trust issues with men, so I have to say the way I feel at this point, I would NOT do it again.
2006-11-09 03:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would ABSOLUTELY do my marriage all over again. What people don't seem to realize these days is if you stick it out with your spouse eventually after many years you work thru the hurt and pain and problems. Then marriage is SPECTACULAR! People give up too easy now a days.
2006-11-08 23:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you never know what life is going to bring - and you don't know how you and spouse will change in the years to come. It's something you just put your faith and trust in.
I've been married to my husband for a year now and I know that I will never meet anyone else as special as him in this lifetime. I am truly honored to know him and be with him.
2006-11-08 22:37:58 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would do my marriage all over,, i had a hard life at home so i looked at it as a way out,,, boy was i wrong, i went from the fire to the frying pan,,
i would have waited got my education waited on kids til we were ready,,,
i wouldn't prob get married i would live with him,, its costs sooo little to get into a marriage and sooo much for a divorce,,,
2006-11-08 23:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by thanks to our brave troops, 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A "smart move" without love is almost sure to end up in divorce.
2006-11-08 22:47:57 · answer #10 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋