I need some Christian perspective on this please......???

Question

Ok it has to do with women and their husbands. I'm not married but it does concern me if I do get married.

Anyway what if the woman has a very low sex drive, inability to physically lust or have sexual feelings. Would it be alright to please her husband by sleeping with him and pleasing him because it says in the bible to respect him and encourage him, uplift him(With God's help of course).

Or would it be lying if you sleep with your husband but don't feel anything sexually? I know faking or***ms is lying.

What do you suggest?? or think or believe

Answer 1

I think you should go see a sex theripest and they can help you with your sex drive and lustful feelings. I also think you should speak to your husband befre you get married about this he needs to know that you want to please him but don't want him upset if he can't please you. Do not fake orgasms it is just insulting to them if they ever find out.

Answer 2

It's a deal breaker that can lead to divorce. Intercourse is an essential part of marriage, not just for sexual release but also for the emotional intimacy it cultivates. Normal is two to three times a week. If a partner wants to get married and starts out trying to please without having any desire, how long will this last until that person resents it and decides, "That's it...we're old enough to not have it anymore." At 40? 50? 60? Don't think it doesn't happen, and it's a mistake to think, "Oh, I would never do that." The problem isn't how you intend to treat him, it's that you won't be able to keep up that act--that's what it is--forever. You have no idea how long it will be until you hit the limit of your tolerance for something you never really wanted to do.

But the essential lie has nothing nothing to do with orgasms--it has to do with desire. If one person marries another without desiring them, they're already withholding an emotional cornerstone of marriage: the need to be desired. And not just desired for looks, status, income or Christian properness. Desired sexually. If you're only going to be available but never going to approach him to pull him into bed...how are you honoring him? Women do that. Women in the Bible did that, too. It's only in backwards Muslim countries where they mutilate their girls that men don't appreciate the richness of being desired by a woman and satisfying her urges.

This is something that the woman should give a lot of thought to, and get the input of a doctor (possibly gynecologist), maybe have hormone levels checked. It could also be that the woman is worrying needlessly. Although intercourse is natural, it isn't necessarily wanted until you learn to relax and enjoy it. That means learning technique, getting over the embarrassment of being naked, and talking about it before, during and afterwards. Many men need to learn patience, gentleness, and taking their good sweet time about it. Many women need to learn how to relax and that this isn't "dirty." And they need to tell the man what they like and what they don't and where to touch. I read an old book about health (1800's) and it recommended that the new husband carefully approach his wife and take three days after marriage to work up to intercourse. It isn't a bad idea.

Nothing in this is un-Christian. If sex is handled right, it will cement the marriage like nothing else, not even children, ever could. Otherwise it could tear it apart.

Answer 3

Respect, encouragment, and uplifting have nothing to do with whether or not you have sex with your husband. That said, communicate! Let him know that you're having issues sexually. Do what you can to find out why you have no sex drive or whatever. Personally, I believe that when the right one comes along, you won't have anything to worry about, but that's just me. The best thing to do, though, is talk to him.

Answer 4

if it were me, i would ask myself how i would feel if i were to marry someone ,expecting to be having a normal married life .if i knew in advance that i could not have that i would be tempted to say no to marriage.i believe that you are going into marriage on false pretences .even though it may be the end of your marriage plans i would tell your future husband all about the problem .he deserves to know what he 's letting himself in for , a loveless marriage without sex.have you investigated all medical avenues? there could be help for you there,do this and if the answer is no then go and tell him before it's too late ,but definitely don't trick him into a marriage that ,if he's a christian too, he will feel obligated to honour and be with a wife who has no capacity to show him love other than perhaps kissing him

Answer 5

Some women do not believe this, so I am probably going to make a lot of enemies by repeating it, but in marriage counseling, our preacher told us that a woman is to give herself to her husband when they get married. Meaning, even if she does not feel up to being sexual, she is still supposed to please him. As a married woman, though, it isn't that easy. I guess that is something you need to just sit and talk with your wife about once the time comes.

Answer 6

Why not see a doctor and discuss your problem with him/her.Anyway if you have an understanding husband like I do you could be honest enough to confide in him and you both visit the doctor.Remember the bible says that "sex is honourable and the bed is undefiled".We need to be honest with our partner or else we end up regretting it.You cannot fake it forever.You can get help to overcome this problem.Be honest and seek that help before it is too late.

Answer 7

Honesty is the best answer.women need to tell their husbands if they have low sex drive,and husbands need to help to solve the problem.The Bible never say wives are slaves,or need to lie their husbands.Communication is the key in marriage's matters.If husbands love their wives,they will understand and will help with love their wives.Good question.

Answer 8

well they do make pills out there for women who cannot get arroused maybe you should look into getting some it does the same for women that it does for men. and if that doesnt work gurl i dont know what to tell you but no you should not fake an orgasm because it makes your husband feel powerless and good enough to please you. so dont lie just try those or you might want to see and obgyn to get checked out good luck

Answer 9

Sex is important in a relationship, and it's VERY important to men. I don't believe that having sex with your husband when you don't feel like it is a lie. You love him and you want to make him happy, and if that's what it takes, then smile and act like you like it. If a man doesn't get what he needs at home, he will go find it somewhere else.

Answer 10

I believe that there is nothing wrong with sleeping with him when u dont feel anything. As long as u dont lie and are honest about the whole deal things will take care of themselves whether its toward your advantage or against it. You can choose or you can react.