Should you tell your husband or wife about flings you had before?

Question

the two of you were married ? Some people I think can't handle it
even though they want to know. What do you think?

Answer 1

Absolutely not! Regardless of what people say about having the ability to handle the truth, the truth of matter is most are not. Your significant other may be alright knowing about these flings while things are going good but chances are these flings will be the first thing they throw in your face in a heated argument. Whatever happened before the two of you got together if it's not life threatning and doesn't have the potential to negatively impact your relationship I say keep it to yourself. In time you'll have enough experiences with each other to talk about. Why ruin things by talking about past relationships. There is a reason for them being called past relationships.

Answer 2

Not only do I think you should not tell your spouse about flings you had before, I don't think you should tell your spouse if you had a fling during your marriage. This is IF you realize it was a mistake and IF you will never do it again and IF you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person. It will hurt them terribly, they will not trust you, they may bring it up during arguments that have nothing to do with the affair or fling, and they will always 'wonder' what you didn't/haven't told them. Just be a faithful spouse from now on and forgive yourself, ask God's forgiveness and move on.

Answer 3

I got married again three years ago and a few months ago my wife told me about a guy she had sex with just before we met.Boy I wish she hadn't told me.That's all I can think about.I love my wife and I wont leave her for this but darn,I can't stop thinking about it and in some way that's got to hurt our marriage down the line even if its my hang up it could still hurt us.If you do tell him go easy and don't tell details,skip the real personal or bad stuff.Good luck

Answer 4

I wanted to know how many partners my husband had mainly just to see if I knew any of them and gave me an idea of what kind of girls he was into. I was a virgin so there wasnt any flings he didnt know about. I still tease him about some of them and he gets mad but i am not jealous at all.

Answer 5

No. I found out my wife had been with over 50 guys. Messed me up for a little while. got over it however every once in a while in creeps back in. It doesn't have to be 50 for some guys it could be 2.

Answer 6

Be honest if he asks you, but be vague and keep details to the minimum. If you two are secure in your marriage and trust each other, then mentioning past lovers shouldn't be an issue between you now or in the future.

Answer 7

Unless you had claimed virginity on your wedding night, or at least until the first time you made love with your spouse, they knew you were with at least one other person. Details of what you did before marriage are your business, to be shared, or kept private. Your choice. And, only YOUR choice.

Answer 8

Who cares what you did in thee past unless it's something you want to brag to him about. Are you going to tell him your highest score on your 4th grade English test also? This stuff is in the past and just leave it there. You've started a new life with a new person so leave it all new. Forget that stuff.

Answer 9

I would strongly advise against that.I thought being honest would be better-but it comes back to bite me alot.I believe what you done in your past should not matter,but alot of people don't feel that way!

Answer 10

The truth is always cool. don't get all in detail it could bite you in the rear later. and reassure after you know be cool