ive read the answers.......?

Question

married 24 yrs always kept the line of communication open least i tried to.......4 kids .the hubby starts workin at a different company with a 21 yr old who he has an affair with .....to his wifes knowledge he didnt cheat prior to now.......anyway......when he didnt want to quit the job ( his wife couldnt deal with him working side by side with this girl after the affair of course).when he left bags and all a month later not even he moved in with this young girl...it has since been a few months......his mom died unexpectedly and during this time the wife says ......are you happy he says no she says cant we talk about this his responce is.......i need time........he didnt need time to move in with thnis girl......i need someone to explain to me how he could do this just walk away the wife was always faithful and put up with alot as you can imagine during 24 yrs....how can he feel no guilt or remorse.................i dont get it

Answer 1

I am very sorry for you pain, which is coming through loud and clear in your question. No one but your husband can answer this question. And unfortunately, I don't think any answer he could ever give you would be acceptable. His behaviors are unacceptable, selfish, self-centered and very ill rational. And for the 21 year old, I am not sure what she was thinking, selfish, and unreal. Why any woman would want or have a man who is married and not respecting his wife, his family or the vows that he has made their is not answer to this. i don't know what she thought she was getting out of this, if a man/woman cheats and does not value their relationship and vows, there is no relationship. No one can truly believe they are just that special. It was and is very selfish behaviors on their parts. And i truly wish you the best and I hope that you can heal and get past this. I hope that you and your husband can rekindle the relationship that has held the two of you together for 24years and move forward in you lives. Good luck and God bless you, I am going to keep you in my prayers.

Answer 2

Men have a Way of concealing hurt. He may have been married for 24 yrs or even more, but check the data.

What was the wife doing was she supporting him? You have provided some information that the lines of communication were open, but that is one sided, was there actual communication?
Here's a fact of life, men are known to walk out of their marriages later in life, wives are known to do so earlier. Something must have been happening and the cohabitation was just a result of.
For him not to feel any pain or remorse, there must be more than you know in the marriage. Men are emotional too, and when their emotional needs are not met they move on to where they are met, most of the times younger women provide this. They are loved and peddled, and in turn they take care of the man.

There are lot of missing pieces to make the puzzle more complete, but given the facts, this is what I think - he did not just walk out, that was the limit, something made him reach the saturation point. The wife should know something that you don't .

Answer 3

Thanks for elaborating. I don't know if he does or does not experience guilt and remorse. I'm willing to bet that he is very confused right now. What he's done sounds inane - but this kind of stuff does happen, and there's probably still no good explanation for it. My ex-husband walked out after five years to be with another woman; he did express guilt and remorse afterwards, but it didn't matter by then, as I had moved on. I have just re-married, and I'm actually thankful that my ex left when he did; I feel that I have out-grown him. Going through this kind of c**p after 24 years of marriage must be tough, no doubt. Taking it a day at a time is just about the only thing you can do now... It will get better with time, but might take a while... Best wishes.

Answer 4

A mid-life crisis is an emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the realization that life is halfway over. It commonly involves reflection on what the individual has done with his or her life up to that point, often with feelings that not enough was accomplished. The individuals experiencing such may feel boredom with their lives, jobs, or their partners, and may feel a strong desire to make changes in these areas. The condition is most common ranging from the ages of 35-50, and affects men and women differently. Mid life crisis last about 3-10 years in men
A poll conducted by Desertion Survivors found that 37.1% of respondents' spouses/partners had deserted them after 20-30 years together, suggesting a strong link to mid-life crisis, with the 20-25 year bracket being the most common, accounting for 20.9% of the overall total.
I think that he feel sorry but he is not sure if you will forgive him. Try counselings.

Answer 5

Sex

She is giving him his Dream sex.

Um, She needs to Clean up he act, By Moderizing and re-creating her sex appeal.

Find a New Hobby of sorts that allows her to have fun.
Make new friends and feel sexy and alluring.

Tell her to STOP begging him Back and act like , she could give a SHi-t Mean time the young girl is after his MONEY not his prick.

So Ole wifey poo needs to file for divorce and get her Alimony

This way if he comes back she doesn't need to marry him all over again and has her own control.

Tell her Jones of NY fashions are Hot and for the sexy mature woman.

And Get out of the House.

I'll bet he is doing drive By's and seeing her car at the house. or the lights on.

Screw it, Even if she has to go to a movie her self GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Don't go getting Dunk everyday, and If she is Fat.
By Sexy pluss size outfits.

Meet Men and make friends, tell her to hand out her phone number, to every guy even the ones she isn't neccessarily attacted to.

And every friday and saturday night Go out.

And Everythursday, invite someone over.

Join a Gym, and go atleast every other day.

Not to lose weight, just to make friends.

By keeping busy she'll feel energized and feel better about her self, and by changing her physical appearance she'll feel like a new woman.

And by making friends she'll remember how much fun she IS
and people will actually reminder of how lovely she is.

Lastly, F this OLD fart Hubby who is letting him self be used.

This is a business, and the business world means POWER
Getting control over her new life and Leaving him behind is the best thing she could do right now.

Plus if she wants him back this is the way to go.

but Don't mimick the teeny boppers Crap.

And if she needs some good sex techniquies, websites and Chatting.

Please trust me, Food Sex and Sleep- Thats all they need,.she aught to know that by Now

she must have forgotten the Sex.

Oh and remind her of the old saying 1st time for love-
Second time for Money

GOOD LUCK

Meg
[e-mail]

Answer 6

my best guess is that he's going through some mid-life crisis or something. If he cheeted, do you realy want him back? The trust is going to be next to impossible to recover. Don't settle for being disrespected just so you aren't alone. I'm a single mom with 5 kids. I'd rather stand my ground than be treated poorly. As for how can he do that.... Guys don't think the way girls so. Maybe he knows you'll take him back so he wasn't really risking anything, just getting away with what he could.

Answer 7

It hurts. And you may never find all the answers. Men can be so weak and restless. They do what they do and walk away with no remorse. But there are still some good ones out there. Your better off. Sometimes we try to hold on to something that God only had in our lives for a season. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

The 21-year old is making him feel things he probably hasn't felt in a long time. Unfortunately, she's probably seeing him as a sugar-daddy. The wife should file for divorce and make him pay for child support. The wife should hire a lawyer to serve him divorce papers, and then the 21 year old will have no more sugar-daddy. Just one man's opinion.

Answer 9

Oh he feels guilt, remorse,like the a@@hole he is.I'm sure it's hard for him to face his family. and guess what the young girl he left you for will soon be leaving him for someone who won't need Viagra !!! He Dog Day will come just sit back and relax... Don't put your life on hold for this looser, get out and find someone who can help you occupy your time and full fill your needs..May his Mother rest in peace, I'm sure she raised him to be a better man then that !!!

Answer 10

people change. maybe he's having a mid life crisis. i'm not giving excuses for what he has done . the way i feel is maybe it was meant to be this way for a reason that would benefit the wife. what i do believe is that what comes around goes around it sounds as though he's already getting a taste of karma with his mother passing away, and if he cheated on his wife he will cheat on this one he has now.