Puzzled....why?

Question

I have a friend...we worked together a few years back. We had a mutual casual friendship, I moved on to another job....she got married...life goes on. shared a few emails here and there.Now, a position opens at my company.... the first person I think of was her, only because, she was the best legal person I worked with. I sent her the job description only and said Good Luck....I was not involved in the interview process....two weeks later, she calls and says she got the job....Very cool I say...and that was it. About a month later I run into her in the parking lot after work....we talk. I notice no ring....we went to have a drink....I asked about her marriage...she's evasive. Days later she's flirting....dropping obvious hints about going out...So, I bring up the hubby....she says were dealing with issues.....lets have fun.... Clearly she wants an affair. Do I hold the line at just drinks or lunch? or Thanks but no thanks..... What do you think

Answer 1

I think you need to get in touch with YOUR morals. I know an honorable man would not get involved with another man's woman, no matter who she is. It is unfortunate that she is not honoring her marriage and YOU! You are better than this, especially if you are now working together, sounds like you could be a good friend. My question to you is, if she did get a divorce, would you want to be in a relationship with her now? Good luck!

Answer 2

I would hold it to just drinks & keep your friendship just that. First of all, ask yourself: Do I just want to be in an affair, one night stand or rebound? If you move in & do anything but friendship things with this lady, & something happens between the 2 of you that doesn't work out, then you've lost a good friend. Where as if she divorces her husband & moves on with her life, then later on when the time is right you both feel you might try a relationship, then perhaps you should see where it goes from there. In my opinion, you'd just be ruining a good friendship for a few nights of extra marital fun.

Answer 3

First of all, it is never wise to "play around" with someone else's wife regardless how close your friendship with her because in the end, there will be two results. Either she will go back to her husband and you're history to her or the husband will come and get you.

It is never a good thing to have an affair with someone in your office because after it has ended, the embarrassment having to face that person every single day is unbearable.

Answer 4

she sounds like you have no value in the game and can be manipulated and then disposed of, be careful of the fact it. make sure you have your mind in good working order because most women can make a vegetable out of a guy just by saying too little at the wrong time or too much at the right time know the ways to have your@ss covered so you don't find out the guy is a ex-marine expert marksman and has a hair trigger, what she isn't saying may cost you. and you did say she was the best legal person, she may have her husband pigeon holed and madder than hell already

Answer 5

I'd say thanks, but no thanks. I don't think I would even do lunch. She's obviously still married, you don't want to be the other guy, and wind up hurt. Now, on the other hand, if a few months down the road she gets divorced, that's a different situation. Also, remember, it's tough to work with someone you've dated, and it doesn't work out, there's another reason to just say no. Sounds like you are a great guy, you will find your princess! Lots of luck.

Answer 6

You know what her intentions are, unless you one to be the one to make matters even worse and more complex, I would say don't do it. She might not ever split from this man and to be frank would you want to end up with a woman that is willing to "mess around" If she is in the middle of a divorce that is one thing. If she isn't she is cheating and who is to say that if your actions caused her to leave hubby and be with you, you wouldn't be the next one to be cheated on... I hope you stand your ground. GOOD LUCK!

Have a GREAT day!

Answer 7

my stepdad had told this woman that he and my mom were having problems and she believed him. they started a relationship and eight months later so calls me and asks why they are still married. i told her they have a great marriage, they do. she ended up very hurt, and even though she was the other woman to our family, i feel bad for her.
the whole point of that is that i would never mess with a married person. no matter what they say of their relationship. if it is as bad as they may say, and are ready to be in other relationships, they should be divorced getting divorced.
and of course i, as a married woman, would not want someone flirting with my husband even if he is the one to stoop to that level.

Answer 8

I pick Thanks but no Thanks...Don't touch that with a 10ft pole...you do not want to be in the middle of divorce court as the person who broke up the marriage. Also dating coworkers is a very bad idea. It can be wonderful while it last but when it is over it can cause major problems at work such as "harrassment claims"

Answer 9

You know she's still married. If you were married and having "issues", but you still loved your wife, how would you feel if she did this? I have a former friend who actually slept wit hmy husband while I was visiting my mom. My guy said he thought it was what he needed. It's been over a year and I'm still having issues over it. I stuck with him, but it still hurts. My opinion is that she's in the wrong for even asking you, and if you go along, you're in the wrong because you know she's married.

Answer 10

If she's going to be evasive with you about her relationship with her husband, then clearly you don't know what you might be getting yourself into. And she might not know what she really wants. I would just be her very platonic friend for the time being.