Do you and your partner ....?

Question

Do you and your partner “fight fair” so that you can disagree without undermining your relationship. explain

Answer 1

Yes we do most of the time. We try to be rational when discussing our differences but it's not always easy, especially if emotions run high. Sometimes we find ourselves getting really irritated with each other so one of us (usually my husband) would say "ok, I think this is getting a little out of hand let's get some air and talk about this later".

Then when everything's calm we resume the discussion and usually we end up compromising.
Also, try not to fight about stupid, little stuff. It's just not worth it.

Answer 2

Not at first. It is a learned process. We have been married for 10 years and "fair fighting" is something that you have to work at. The way that we do it now is by writing to each other. Making sure that you explain yourself and not name calling and blame pointing. We also write on big decisions that need to be made and happy stuff. We write every night. The spouse reads the letter/note, and gets ten minutes to express (calmly and without "negative" words) what they are feeling. Not what they think is the right answer. Feelings are not right or wrong they just are. Those 10 minutes are uninterrupted by the other spouse. Then you switch. To some this may sound "dumb" but if done right and with respect - it works.

Answer 3

We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling angry and inflicting our full force fury on our loved ones are two very different things.

When we allow ourselves to explode at those we love on a regular basis, this behavior can deeply damage our relationships. Those of us who crave drama-"drama addicts" or "dramatics"-sometimes start fights with loved ones just to experience an emotional "rush" or "high."
Here are three practical tips to learn how to "drop the drama" and argue in a healthier, more constructive way with your loved ones.
When arguing, we all need to stay "on point" and steer clear of insulting our loved ones.
In all of your arguments, always stay focused on the topic at hand.
Never lunge for your loved ones emotional "Achilles' Heel" or "soft spot" in an argument. It's too easy, and quite frankly, it's too mean. We all know how to push our loved ones' buttons, but just because we know exactly what their vulnerable spots are, this does not mean that we should use our knowledge of their particular vulnerabilities to our advantage in the midst of an argument.
Never issue an ultimatum like if you do not take trash i will divorce you
The key is not to allow a pattern of negative behavior to become the norm in our relationships. We all need to pay close attention to our personal arguing styles, and those of us who infuse too much drama into our conflicts need to put a stop to such destructive behavior immediately.

Answer 4

Fighting fair is a relationship myth.

Me and my guy, when we argue, he is a pig-headed bull. It's worse when he's dead wrong.

Then a day or two later he'll do something nice for me. Never says sorry or admits guilt, just, does something nice. I've cracked the code - finally.

Answer 5

Yeah, I think for the most part we do... I am usually the one who gets more "emotional" in arguments, but I never say anything that I would not repeat outside the fight; i.e., I try to only say what I really mean.

Answer 6

So, i assume you mean that the extremely sensible human being is hideous and the extremely appealing human being is an fool...good? i might want to fairly be unmarried. If compelled to settle on on, besides the undeniable fact that, i assume i might want to pick the forged searching human being. that is assuming they both have solid personalities. The personality is extra major than their intelligence. If the smart human being were universal searching, i might want to pick them, yet i do not see the point of courting someone that i'm not remotely in touch in. it really is what friends are for.

Answer 7

we try to be fair but let's be honest in a true heated fight it flys out the window no matter how much we want to be fair

Answer 8

Yes we try, because when you love someone you don't want to crush that person when you disagree. Usually one has to back off and I try and be that person. It's so much easier to just suck it up and say.... whatever!

Answer 9

my wife and i fight over stupid things,

like her not doing dishes and laundry and about how im sick of doing all the housework

i tell her i dont deserve to be hurt all the time

is that fair
she thinks so and today she *did* stuff
yea!@

Answer 10

Well we don't fight. we just talk real loud and most of the time i win lol.