I am still in love with my boyfriend of 6 years I recently got married but I am not into the marriage and I dont see myself spending the rest of my life with him. My first boyfriend and I have been on and off for the past 6 years and I made the mistake of getting married on the rebound. I am madly in love with my boyfriend and he cannot live without me. I know what I need to do, but my culture and family forbid it. I know people involved will get hurt but I need to think about my happiness too. Please help me.
2006-11-08 10:50:36 · 7 answers · asked by jamaboud 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why in the world did you marry your husband? Do you like playing with people's hearts?
2006-11-08 10:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are a few problems with this situation. For one you asking to have your feelings validated it sounds like your minds made up and that you just want some support. Thats for starters next is you were in an on and off again relationship for 6 years that is a long time but obvisouly none of your problems were getting fixed because it was so unstable. And although you want to run back to that you need to think about all of the times that you had broken up with him and what had occured. you really need to take this into consideration. Why didnt you relationship work? No one can tell you how you feel or control how you feel your going to do what you want. But you need to figure out if you are living in a dream or in reality are you honestly going to scarfice everything you have and everyones feelings to be with him? I mean are you that certain that this time things will really work between the two of you. Thats pretty risky and you should appreciate what you have but what you should and shouldnt do doesnt matter because you know how you feel and no one can change that. I think if you pursue him and hurt everyone it will be a great dissappointment and I say that because you were in an on an off relationship for six years it obvisouly doesnt work if you cant work through your problems. I think you should wake up out of this dream and view the facts and only then you will have your answer.
2006-11-08 11:04:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do....DON'T GET PREGNANT!!! You sound silly when you say you are madly in love with the ex. You sound very unstable with feelings that change at the drop of a hat.
Your present husband deserves better than you. You should separate/divorce and spend time growing up, and definitely forget hooking up with the ex for the time being.
2006-11-08 11:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by Raven 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to fallow your heart and that is not always going to please every one but if you are not happy than you are going to make every one around you miserable so just move on right now don't waste time life is too short and it don't not get any easier if you are not happy but if you are happy things will get better you may lose some friends and some family but if they really love you they will stand by you even if they don't like what you are doing they don't have to understand you it is not there job to judge you just love you my wife and I were in the same boat only she had been married to her ex now for 20 years when she left him and got a divorce but it took a little while but after she told every one the the whole truth about how she felt she did finally get support of the family and it took a little while for the one aunt to except it but she is finally talking to her again now after one year!!!! she had a few ppl really mad and every thing but she told every one how she felt and what happened and you should never stay in a relationship that is not making you happy and put on a fake happy face to please others it will only make you very ill in the long run my wife was dyng a very slow death from stress of being very unhappy!!! she gained a lot of weight from stress and it was killing her really now we are to geather and she has lost about 50 plus pounds because she got rid of the stress in her life!!!
I have one more thing to say in any relationship if you really love some one you will keep ting no matter what so if the 6 year thing has been the longest relationship you had but that is the one you want that go for it cuase it takes time for both of you to grown and discover who you are and it sounds like to me that even tho you have differances it souds like you can live with those differances then get to geather and make it work it is ok to have differances and you have to give ppl room to have the things they want but share your diofferances with each other and enbarce those things and each other
good luck and God bless you both!!!!!
2006-11-08 11:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by numan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tough call.
Possible happiness vs. your culture and family.
Family accept you even when you are wrong. Get a divorce you will be the dog house for little while, but then everything will be fine.
2006-11-08 11:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
then u have a problem ...sorry but u shouldnt be doing it and hurting the man that u married and dont hurt urself by being with someone u dont wanna be with...talk to ur bf....tell him howu feel and what he wants...
2006-11-08 13:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got yourself into a sticky situation. Ask yourself how you got where you are? Sometimes people don't know when they are better off... think about it...
2006-11-08 10:55:52 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋