I am very close with my family and I have few friends. I am having a very difficult time with my husband right now and don't know who to talk to. I am afraid that if I talk with my family they will get a negative feeling towards him and have a hard time getting rid of that feeling if we do work it out. Does anyone have any suggestions? I am really at a loss. I am in desperate need of advice.
2006-11-08 09:59:51 · 19 answers · asked by needtotalk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would suggest You PRAY. Prayer is very Powerful!
Find a Christian church close to you and go and ask for prayer. It will help you & marriage tremendously. You can also get free Godly counselling from the Pastor. The Lord restored my marriage 100% plus more.
You see satan wants to destroy our marriage, children and anything we love dearly. DON"T let him.
The Bible says:
10 The thief’s(satan) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My (The Lord)purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
You need to be in a group of believers. The prayers of believers avail much. They also encourage, support & uplift you.
If you can, read "Power of a praying woman/wife" by Stormie Omarian. Very good. Your life will never be the same once you accept Jesus in your heart. My life changed all for the better. I'm living testimony.
Here is a verse for you.
Jer 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
God Bless you and your hubby!
2006-11-08 18:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will agree with you that if you talk to your family about your problems and things do work out with you and him that they might hold something against him. That happened with me and I know that people can change as mine did but it took a very serious move on my part to get him to change for the better, but my family still has hard feelings toward him.
I think what I would do is start off trying to talk to him first and let him know how feel and what is going on to see if there is any way that you can work out your problems together. Then if that don't work then try either a councilor or a close friend or someone that is maybe on the net that you talk to that don't really know you. I know that I have helped people out with their problems that I don't even know on here and they have me as well. Sometimes just talking things out will help you out a lot by giving you ideals of what to do or what not to do.
2006-11-08 10:47:58 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try two options i you just need to collect your thoughts before you speak to your husband.
A) Look up a therapist that is local that will see you for a small fee for an hour just to talk this out and release feelings so that you will be calm and organized when you speak to your husband.
B)You have neighbors or even just acquaintances that are older married and you have a gut-feeling that is strongly saying they are trust worthy. Talk it out with them and ask for advice. Older marriages, especially those of elderly couples have seen strife multiple times and gotten through it. They can help if not just hear you out.
I really encourage you to talk this out with someone else to begin with. Because it is obvious you love this persona and are trying not to hurt them, but you need a way to tell them what is wrong and find a way to fix it.
Good Luck and remember that no matter what happens you can overcome it. If your strong enough to face this head on your strong enough to live through the results of it.
2006-11-08 10:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try a church official or even a marriage counselor. The first should be free. The second may cost but you can involve hubby at a later date. Marriage counseling will work only if thats what you really want to happen. There might be some women help groups in your area too, check the yellow pages or you may be referred by the church. Good luck
2006-11-08 10:10:24 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems we're in the same boat. After years of talking to family, I have found that it's not a good idea because of the exact reasons you have pointed out. So, I have no one to talk to either. Do you go to church? I'm sure there's a counselor of some sort there. Otherwise, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe try a marriage counselor. I assume you can go to one without your husband. Heck, maybe we could talk to each other!
Good Luck
2006-11-08 10:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, NEVER go to your family or his family with your marital problems. It will always bite you on the butt. If you talk to your family about him you will end up involving them into very personal things in your relationship that they have no business knowing. You will probably influence their opinion of him into being a negative one and chances are that opinion may never change even if your relationship gets better. If you confide in his family and they do agree with you they can turn on you in a second if you rub them the wrong way and then they will switch sides and backstab you.
My suggestion would be to first try to see if you can work things out with your husband in a calm, reasonable manner.
If you have exhausted all options and you have handled it in an appropriate manner with your husband and he is just not willing to communicate with you one on one in the home setting then I suggest you insist on marriage counseling. Therapists are trained to work couples who are suffering from all kinds of different marital problems and often times people will talk in the neutral environment of the therapist's office in front of an unbiased third party rather than trying to talk at home where things tend to get out of hand and discussions end up in arguments. Therapists can offer suggestions, give you "homework" assignments for working on certain things that are causing problems at home. The main thing to remember is that you need to keep your personal life private when it comes to relatives because it can come back to haunt you.
2006-11-08 10:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start at the root of the problem. Talk to your husband. Also, there are online, places, support groups, counselors or a therapist. How about some of those friends, any close enough to share your thoughts? Best of luck to you.
2006-11-08 10:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by dadknows 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A marriage & family counselor will be a trained, unbiased, and most valuable person to talk with.Look in your local yellow pages. Phone consults are short & free. If you feel comfortable over the phone you can make an appt. Don't say you can't afford it. Most therapists have sliding fee scales and since marriage is such an important realtionship in your life. ..I suggest you make yourself afford it. Even if you have to cut corners in your budget. Good luck.
2006-11-08 10:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At 3AM, most normal people are left with a) sleep and b) enough quiet to actually think about their problems/concerns - and "b' usually prevents "a" - hence the need to discuss it, if for nothing else other than being able to actually get to sleep. Some people also have an OCD/anxiety thing where they HAVE to discuss what's bothering them RIGHT when it's bothering them.
2016-05-21 22:49:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pick a stranger someone not bias, hey if you need to talk i have been in some insane relationships Id be willing to listen. Or another idea is to see a councellor but don't let him know or it may cause more problems. If you have someone you can talk to on the phne even an aquaintance.
2006-11-08 10:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋