At what age should I talk to my daughter about sexual abuse?

Question

I have a very bright 3 almost 4 year old. And I was wondering if it's ok at this age to talk to her about abuse. Things like inappropriate touching and such. Like, if some one touches you or does something to you that makes you uncomfortable to come talk to me about it. Or tell me about it. I was a rape victim at the very young age of 3 and I think my life would have been much different if I would have known about it and had been able to tell some one. I know what it is I want her to know, but I'm not sure she's able to understand yet.

Answer 1

There is probably age appropriate information that you can give her throughout her growth . . .

Check with your doctor or with your local school to see if they have any information or guides that you could use.

Answer 2

I think that is a personal opinion for only you to decide. I'm also a victim of abuse, but was much older when it happened. So of course i knew the correct action to take, even though i felt i didnt take the correct action and tell anybody about it out of fear.

Do you feel that your daughter is ready for something like that? Or that she can comprehend what you are talking about? Do you think that she feels safe, secure and loved by you?

Those are just simply some of the questions that you can ask yourself. Of course im not saying you are doing the wrong thing, i commend you on wanting your child to know that she can come to you at any time. But we all know the profile of a paedophile...they prey on fear and use power over children with their sexual acts. It also includes the threats that the paedophile makes to the child to stop them from saying anything. Such as "im going to kill your mother/father", or "I'm going to tell your parents that you liked it" etc etc.

The reason why im mentioning this is simply because when a paedophile weaves these types of lies into a child's head, a child will simply believe it. Then the child can fear what will happen with the parents and simply not say anything. You probably went through it yourself, and understand exactly what it is like from my own experience.

I wouldnt say wait, but i wouldnt tell her unless you are 100% sure she can cope/understand with this type of knowledge. Also, remember about the last paragraph. If your afraid your daughter isnt saying anything and u have an extreme feeling that she may be threatened or abused in some way then try to look for some signs:

* An adult wants to be alone with your child for no apparent reason.

* Your child is receiving gifts from an adult or older person when it isnt warranted.

* Changes in your child's behaviour

* Your child might play sexual games with other children.

Those are only some of the signs, and im sure you know more from personal experience more of them. Good luck and i wish you all the best.

Answer 3

YES,your her mother you know what it is that she can understand, my daughter is 4 and is also bright and i always remiond her about things like that. i tell her nobody is suppose to touch your private parts not even your parents except when mommys helpiny you in the bath or after you use the bathroom and also that if "ANYONE"touches her and makes her feel uncomfortable in any way and tell her not to tell her parents or she'll be in trouable i assure her that she can tell me anything and i would never be mad at her. you have to tell kids about those dangers at a young age these days cause theres some weirdos out there and in some cases there the people that you least exspect,these days you can't trust anyone with your children, so i think yiou should start warning her of these dangers....

Answer 4

I am a foster parent and the sister to four adopted children. Sexual abuse is very common these days and it is never too early to talk to your children about it. Use terms they can understand and let them know that no matter what, they should always tell on someone that hurts them or makes them uncomfortable. Let them know that their body is special and that it is NEVER ok for anyone to touch anywhere on their body that they don't like, irregardless of where they are touched.

Answer 5

YES, TALK TO HER NOW! YOu can get more detailed as she gets older, but as a 3 year old, most likely facing preschool, or day care - or places where she is OUT of your watch, she should know about inappropriate touching and she should know that she should ALWAYS TELL YOU and that she will NEVER GET IN TROUBLE for telling you!!

Please tell her - you don't know who you can trust and your little girl will be out in the world with other people, and she needs to know.

Answer 6

Yes! When they are old enough to comprehend you should teach them about good touches and bad touches, I was 4. She should see you as someone to go to in case of this situation. She may not understand, but why not try anyways? Just use talks that she would understand and illustrate on a doll what parts of the body are good and bad.

Answer 7

I dont have any kids myself but it cant be an easy thing to talk about- a relative of a friend went through some probs very similar but they were older when it happend to them. You could try talking to your children about this and explain it in a way not to frighten them - you could start by saying something horrible happend to you when you were there age ie being touched in private parts which is wrong etc etc. I hope it goes well for you. Take care of yourself. i hope this is helpful advice to you.

Answer 8

Counselling is definately mandatory right here, and quite in all probability for you too. This sounds like a heavily complicated time and having help for you too does help. i think of professional help is DEFINATELY mandatory right here. shop conserving her far flung from possibility and probably you need to maintain a diary of if or while she tells you issues. Her words precisely although, and likewise do no longer tension it. enable her understand you're there for her and probably by using observing her play along with her toys (without prime the play) provide you some interior awareness of what's been occurring to her. maximum of all, you advised her the certainty which you had to tell social centers. even although this is complicated and you do no longer choose her to clam up, mendacity is a no-no. do certainly no longer promise you will no longer tell somebody what she suggested, as ultimately you will ought to interrupt that promise and have faith would be lost. i'm hoping you the two are risk-free and get each and every of the make it easier to choose. persist with your intestine, in case you think of she's no longer risk-free with somebody, do no longer leave her on my own with them. I choose you each and every of the main suitable.

Answer 9

Start with explaining to her what her "private places" are and that other people should not be touching her there or asking her to touch theirs. Explain to her the difference between Mommy or the Doctor having to exam her if she is hurt or sick and touching that is not allowed. Tell her that if someone does touch her in a way that isn't allowed, she should tell you. Explain that you are her mother and it is your job to protect her, that you will always love her no matter what, and if someone tells her otherwise, they are lying.

Answer 10

Now is as good a time as any as you already know from your own terrible experience. Of course you just make it child appropriate so not to scare her, but do tell her about what's private and special about her to give her a sense of awareness. Tell her that even if someone tells her not to tell, that you and her don't keep secrets from each other. I actually taught my daughter's to scream then bite an attacker as hard as they possibly could, if he tried to pick them up or force them into a car. (They were in school by that time.) I told them if they didn't fight as hard as they could it would be difficult for me to find them. My theory is (and even for myself) that if someone threatens me to get into a car with them, I'd prefer they shoot or stab me right where I am. I have a much better chance of getting help than if I allow them to take me to a secluded area.

Answer 11

It depends on your feelings. I won't tell my kid at that young of an age, since they're still so innocent. Wait until she's about 6, or when she starts doing things alone or starts school. If not till then, try now obut in a way she'll understand and not get ideas about stuff. Good luck!