My wife & I have been married for 15 years. At times I have felt like my needs and hers have been met and have been happy. Now it seems like she is no longer interested in sex. She would be fine with 1 a month or never. I would be happy with a few times a week, but generally get little or none. She is not affectionate either. I take her on dates once a week, call her at her office to say hi, etc. But this is frustrating me to no end and I am feeling rejected all the time.
2006-11-08 09:42:22 · 13 answers · asked by Someone who cares 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all the feedback so far. We have 3 kids .Yes, we have talked at length about each others needs. Hers are more emotional, mine are physical & affection. Adult toys or more time in the bedroom is not going to work for her at all, she doesn't respond to affection either.
2006-11-09 04:34:36 · update #1
Welcome to the club, dude. I've been happily married for almost 16 years. Faithful the whole time. When we have sex, it's good, but rarely lasts more than 10-15 minutes. And it only happens -- at most -- once a week or so. She doesn't like to give or receive oral (to completion at least). You don't mention kids but I would assume you have one or more in the picture?
I'm considering counseling before I try something stupid. I just wish she acted like she still desired me. I haven't gained a lot of weight or anything. Still in good shape. Great job. Involved dad. Etc.
2006-11-08 16:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by tex37curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am on her end of it. I couldn't care less if I ever get it again or not...from anyone. But we have MAJOR trust issues in our marriage. All I can say is talk to her. She may be stressing over work or she may just be tired if she has to work all day then come home and do laundry, homework, dishes, etc. I think you are doing great by taking her out once a week. That is ALWAYS a plus. Communication is the answer. Tell her how you are feeling and as if there is anything giong on that you can help her out with. Could be she is just going through hormonal changes. From what I am told, women have a low to no sex drive when they are going through menepause. Communication is the answer.
2006-11-08 10:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am feelin you man. I wonder myself. Women tend to say one thing and mean another.
Sounds like she may be holding something against you she would not want to discuss. That happens alot, and it may have to do with your technique, or even if you said the wrong thing.
Maybe you could get books and try new things in the bedroom.
Not to scare you but she may have found someone else that stimulates her in ways you can't or used to, and it may be affecting her.
And no use accuseing her, it will only make matters worse.
The best thing you can do is just listen. Just really listen to her, and try not to be overbearing.
good luck.
2006-11-08 10:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by Seerin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have always had a high sex drive with my hubby and I was a very affectionate person till lately too..smiles. I have been told by my doctor I am going through Peri-Menopause and depression!! GREAT I said so he put me on a anti-depressant, which has helped not for everything but it has helped to a point. Talk to her she might be going through the same thing and it is hell for us to be going through this and we just need your understanding and support because this is going to be a difficult time for her to go through alone...just beware thought when the mood swings hit...DUCK!!! LOL!!!
2006-11-08 09:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jenah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please take this advice, my husband and I went through the same thing, if you are open to it try out some adult toys, we have the best sex ever, all the time, and we have kids so you can't use that as an excuse!Trust me, start out with something simple, than work your way up.
2006-11-08 09:58:56 · answer #5 · answered by kendra B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy some sex toys, bunches of them and some astroglide, some message oil.
Tell her you want to focus on her sexual needs and use the toys to give her an out of this world orgasm.
That will allow her to want more, more more.
Focus on her MAGIC button and you shall be rewarded ten fold.
2006-11-08 09:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried sitting down and talking with your wife about this? There may be a reason behind this that you two can resolve together. If the talk doesn't work, as her if she'd be willing to go to counseling with you.
Good luck to you guys.
2006-11-08 09:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to her! Tell her how you feel! Remind her that you guys are still madly in love and it's okay to show affection...I love affection. I can't get enough of it! There's always time for a hug and kiss.
2006-11-08 09:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its because she does not feel sexual or attractive, therefore she has no sexual attraction towards you. Not that its a personal thing, you two may need to talk about this and perhaps get counseling.
2006-11-08 10:00:07 · answer #9 · answered by Monie D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to learn how to handle also her emotion needs. Otherwise her sexual interest will gradually be reduced.
2006-11-08 17:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by AH HA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋