I have noticed alot of differences between us. We are in love but he looks at other women but says he doesnt. Is it just insecurity or should I trust my gut instinct???
2006-11-08 09:26:28 · 29 answers · asked by texaslady78 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it could. there's about as much chance as it working as any other marraige. the problem is not necessarily the age differences. it's that you understand what you're getting into beforehand. please don't believe that relationships will always be perfect, you will have to constantly work at it and understand that no one is perfect.
now, to attack the other issues. women generally prefer other women due to emotional maturity issues. women are generally more mature then men are hence they seek older men. at 22, i'm not sure that anyone, male or female is ready to settle down. but of course, everyone has individual situations. be weary of that.
as far as his looking at others. it's what men his age do. have you addressed the issue and told him that it bothers you? if you have not, you should. if you have and he does it anyway and denies it, it'd worry. it could say something about his respect for you and the marraige. a man should know, or be made to know what truly bothers the one he loves and he should make very large pains to make sure he avoids those things. the same goes for women. though the looking at other women issue should have been delt with before you tied the knot....
2006-11-08 09:44:59 · answer #1 · answered by dejiko316 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay for starters I have three older brothers. Two are happily married and they STILL LOOK. It is like automatic and doesn't mean ANYTHING. Looking means NOTHING. If they approach the women or strike up something that has double meanings or in any way touches them then you clock the idiot and tell him to get it together or your out. (Not as in keeping them from falling on their but if they slip on a wet floor, i think you can figure out what I mean)
I have family where my cousin married a woman almost ten years his senior and they are happily deliriously married. He is a step-father of twenty-four to a nine year old and he has never been more secure in who he is and where he stands in life. Not only can these unions be successful, but they take work. if it is making you uncomfortable make sure you talk to him, not yell or use an accusing voice. Tell him you get it. They are women and he likes to look, but that your worried that he might want to do more than look because of the age difference. Discuss it.
You'll get your answer and if it's not what you wish it was entirely work on your relationship. Start having a weekly date together that is truly amazing time for both of you. Try things that you haven't ever tried together, and live your life to the fullest enjoying the time you have together for as long as you have it. you never know what will happen in life.
My best friend in highschool married her highschool sweetheart and they were married for about six monthes when he was killed by a drunk driver. The little petty things don't matter you love him for a reason and that's what you need to focus on. Being in love is letting go and trusting that other person to catch you. Honestly I'd say be more worried if he didn't look, because then he won't be being true to who he is as a breathing male.
2006-11-08 09:41:26 · answer #2 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 22 year old male does not typically have the maturity level of a 28 year old female. Women typically mature at an earlier age then Males do.
However, you are Married now....Both of you addressed the age difference a long time ago. It was not a factor before you got Married, it should not be a factor at this time.
Concerning Your Husband looking at other women...smiles. Please get use to that, It is in a Mans chromosomes to glance at another women.
You may be a bit insecure concerning your Husband Looking at Other women..... when you are present.
Have another conversation with your husband concerning his "Looking". Tell him that it is not polite and makes you insecure.
I have to admit, I had that compulsion to look....My Gf made me sleep on the couch one night....That cured my compulsion in short order...:)
Good Luck and stay Happily Married.
2006-11-08 09:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most cases it is if you are willing to let it work. If you have voiced that you do not approve of him looking at other women and he tells you he doesn't it is most likely because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. It is human nature to look. That doesn't mean he is cheating or thinking about cheating. It just means he is alive and breathing. As long as he comes home wih you every night there shouldn't be a problem here. If you are that insecure in your relationship you never should have gotten married.
2006-11-08 09:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age isn't a determining factor in whether a relationship will work. Things what matter are both partners level of maturity, amount of commitment to the relationship, and the amount of work you both are willing to put into the relationship. Contrary to popular opinion, relationships don't just work or fizzle on a whim or fate. Relationships work because the two (TWO not one) people in them put the effort and caring into making them work.
If you and this guy are going to work, then you have to be very open and honest with him about how you feel about his wandering eye. If he loves you he'll work on controlling his urges. Never hold things in and let them fester. The best, strongest relationships are the ones that are based on honesty, open communications, trust, and perseverence.
Best Wishes
2006-11-08 09:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by kherome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can work only if you let it, I'm in a relationship just like yours my mate and i have been together six years, there is a nine year difference between us, and we are in love as well, hears an answer to the problem; so what if he's looking at other women, you are the queen in his life if you weren't you would have not married him, that's your man so you be happy and love him. that's why my mate and i have been together this long, you do the same and be happy.
2006-11-08 09:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by nicole s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husbands 6 years younger then me as well and I know he notices a pretty woman just as I notice a hot man. I mean just because you get married doesn't mean you don't notice someone attractive and I think it's pretty much normal. He probably doesn't admit looking at other women because he knows your insecurities and doesn't want to upset you over nothing. Hang in there. ;o)
2006-11-08 09:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me age is irrelevant, it is the heart and soul connection that matters most. Are you on the same page with where you see your lives heading? Do you want the same things? Can you find a happy balance by bringing together your differences and your similarities?
Listen to your gut, be open to the possibilities and communicate with your partner.
2006-11-08 09:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by LiverGirl98 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you LOVE him??? If so, sit him down and have a talk with him about how you feel. He may reconsider. You married him knowing the age difference. Any marriage can work, if the pair is willing to work at it. Nothing in life is easy and some things are definitely working on.
2006-11-08 09:29:31 · answer #9 · answered by HGS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with looking at the menu as long as you don't order. I think it's just insecurity, give him the benefit of the doubt, unless he's actually given you a reason to not trust him.
2006-11-08 09:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by Windy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋