have anyone ever told their spouse that they were going through somethings and that basically they wanted to deal with it within themselve if so what was his/her response because my husband got upset because i won't tell him what it is after i asked him to let me deal with it on my own.i just needed him to understand.
2006-11-08 09:12:53 · 23 answers · asked by eutaw29048 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would be upset if my husband didn't share what's going on with him. We are married and supposed to be there to support each other.
It would make me wonder why he wouldn't tell me as well...as in, what's he hiding?
2006-11-08 09:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a good thing that your husband wants to help you through a tough time. I think that's a natural reaction when you love someone. Maybe you should let him help if it's something he can handle. A lot of times, we women think we can take on the world when we could actually use a little TLC.
That said - explain to him again that you just need some space. It's not about him or your marriage (if it's not) and assure him you will work it through. Good Luck!
2006-11-08 09:16:50 · answer #2 · answered by wish2bwriter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is afraid. Wouldn't you be? If you won't tell him his imagine starts running and he fears the worst. You had an affair? You don't love him? You're losing it? You're a lesbian now? You used to be a man??
I am in therapy with a problem right now. I tried not to tell my wife why and she freaked out - thought she needed to find a lawyer, protect the kids etc. I had to tell her to calm her down, even though I didn't want to. Put him at ease. He is your husband and he loves you (presumably) and he would rather be there for you than be on the outside. He would feel disconnected to know that there is this big nasty part of you that he knows nothing about.
2006-11-08 09:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are married, that is what your husband is there for. He should want to go through things with you. That is what being married is all about. You are no longer separate entities. You have been married...become one. So when one person hurts or greives, the other person in the marraige shoued be empathetic of those emotions. You should always be open and honest. He is your husband! I am quite sure that is it were him who was feeling this way, you would be a little hurt and probably paranoid!
2006-11-08 09:18:53 · answer #4 · answered by buebla 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when you tell a guy that there's a problem, their natural response is to "fix" it. So you can't really get upset with him for responding in a natural way. Just be patient with him, and tell him that it's something you need to work through. However, if it's something that affects your marriage then he has a right to be aware of it (at least to a certain extent). It seems like your man wants to help you, so you should be thankful for that. Just try talking to him. It took my honey a long time to learn that when I say "it's okay, just leave me alone to deal with it" I really mean it. the problem is too many women say "leave me alone" and don't mean it. Make sense? Just talk to him. :)
2006-11-08 09:18:20 · answer #5 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that he's upset because he thinks it's about him? My husband would start feeling insecure and then get mad at me because he felt that I was mad at him if I was upset. Reassure him that it has absolutely nothing to do with him and that you love him and just need some time to work it through. Reassure him that you're not trying to hide anything from him either, but you just need some space to work through your "woman" problem.
Then, be affectionate towards him as best you can to help the reassurance and work through it when he's not around.
2006-11-08 09:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by meoorr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a man, my inclination if something is wrong to fix it. It's how us men are. But I think he feels that you don't think he's helpful to you if you won't let him know what your going through. Because it sounds like he's a very loving and caring husband and wants to help you through what your going through.
2006-11-08 09:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it. Isn't logical to want to tell your spouse what is bothering you so they can help you get thru it. I don't think anyone man or woman likes to be told by their spouse, "I'm going thru some difficult times and I can't share them with you." Sometimes telling another person your problems makes you see that maybe things can and will get better. Don't shut him/her out because your gonna regret it.
2006-11-08 09:23:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife has done that to me a couple of times. As a spouse, it's very difficult. Your partner is in "pain" and won't let you near enough to help. It seems to show a lack of trust in the spouse that you won't confide in.
2006-11-08 09:16:01 · answer #9 · answered by fruninto 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time you have a situation where you are dealing with yourself you may not want to mention it to your husband. It is perfectly normal to feel that way sometimes. No matter how many times you tell him that it has nothing to do with him he still may think that it does.
2006-11-08 09:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually don't tell him bluntly like.." I have something I need to deal with on my own" because that surely will make him feel like an outsider. I just let him know that I need some alone or quiet time, and he usually will just respect that.
2006-11-08 09:18:43 · answer #11 · answered by Evangeless 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋