is it wrong to take your grandchildren!?

Question

neither parent seems to be fit. the father has no job and the mother is more intetresed in her new boy friend to care if she get to keep them

its not that he dont only have a job he has stalked my daughter taken the children out of my house at 1am on two diffrent occasions in a row so mind youre if you have nothing good to say thank you

im 40 and my husband makes 33 an hour hows that for being able to take care of them we are both healthy

he keeps telling me he isnt capable of caring for them and neither is his family.So if both dont feel capabalethen tellme what you would do

Answer 1

Until I saw your additional details, I had a radically different answer for you.

Now, however, I think it would be a blessing to take them if you and your husband are willing. First see if you can get both of them to agree in writing that you and your husband take custody./guardianship. Speak with a family law attorney to help set this up.

If that fails, you will probably have to go to court directly for custody./guardianship and/or contact Child Protecive Services. Keep careful documentation of the parents' behaviors for evidence of neglect and irresponsibility, though things still may not go in your favor if the behavior is not outrageous enough--kids missing school 4 days out of 5, going hungry with no food in the kitchen, exposure to drugs and/or alcohol, etc.

Answer 2

It doesnt matter what you think, right or wrong. You have great intentions but its up to the court. You can take them to court for custody of the kids, but you will first have to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that both parents are unfit to raise the kids. Usually the courts look for concrete evidence of child, drug,mental abuse and that the environment they are in is detrimental to their health. Not an easy task. If you get past that then the court will check you out to see if you are in a good position to raise the kids and that you can provide a stable and nourishing environment for the kids. Age will play a bigger factor than income here and if one of you will be around all the time for the kids. The judge could give you temporary custody while both parents seek professional help and turn their lives around.You sound like youve got a good case here with good intentions but you have to convince the judge of the same. Another way would be if you could get both parents to sign over custody of the children to you which would still have to be cleared by a judge, but you dont have to prove a thing. Good luck

Answer 3

I say do what is in the best intrest of your grandchildren. It would be better for them to be with you than be neglected or abused. Or end up in the family court system being bounced from foster family to foster family. You could start out on a temporary basis until their parents get their acts together. Let your daughter know that you just want to help her make sure that the children are well taken care of and that you are not trying to take over as being their parent. And if they don't get their act together, make it permanent. Don't let anyone try to make you feel guilty about doing what is in the best intrest of the children, if you end up getting them. Because those are the same people that would be complaining and saying you are such a bad grandparent if you left them there and God forbid, something ended happening to one of them

Answer 4

Well, step back for a second and really look at the situation. If it really is in the child's interest, then go for it. You may just think that neither parent seems to be fit but maybe they are, just not in the way you want them to be. But, if the children are at harm or are being neglected emotionally, physically, mentally and what not, then you need to take care of them. It's up to you, since they have no parents.

Answer 5

I do think it depends on the age of the parents but I do know a grandparent that did this because her daughter was too young and experimenting with drugs the guy is now in his twqenties and is a good guy. So if you have it in you to raise your own grandchild go for it because they may be better off do the legal thing and get custody.

Answer 6

No if neither of the parents are interested in their children who better than the grandparents to take care of them. I mean its not the kids fault its the parents fault , but If I were in that situation I wont hesitate because in a way they are yours also.

Answer 7

No, someone has to make sure these children are cared for and raised to become productive adults. The parents seem to be self centered. These poor children probably feel abandoned they need some stability in their lives.

Answer 8

It's not wrong but make sure this is the best for the kids. Sometimes we think we are helping them when in the long run we do more harm to them. If either parent is unfit and truely unfit then yes take them and love them.

Answer 9

If it truly is the best thing for the child, then is is OK. You really have to examine the child's situation seriously, before you decide to try and get custody. This will be a huge adjustment for the child. It will also confuse the child. I would suggest getting the child therapy after the custody change.

Answer 10

Unless they are in dire circumstances, no court will give them to you.

How old are you? Do you really think you can offer a better life? While you may feel like you can offer them much love, you need to look at your own health. What happens to them if you need a bypass? My father-in-law (just 55) had a sextuple bypass. I can't imagine if he had custody of his grandchildren.