Should i get married at 19 or 20?

Question

i want to marry a man who is significantly older than me. we've been together over a year and a half. he is a wonderful, loving man with a beautiful heart but almost 20 years older than me. i want us to start a family before he gets too old. should i go for it or am i too young to marry or should i just not get married to someone way older than me?

Answer 1

I think you should wait till you are about 22 then go for it.

Answer 2

If you're only 18 or 19, wait. You have your entire life infront of you at the moment and he doesn't. He's had his time to live and experiment and you're just now reaching the age where you can. I know you love this man and that you want a family but, its best to wait until you're out of college or until you've had a steady job for awhile to really get out there and experiance life.
Love is blind so to say you shouldn't marry this man because he's older isn't necessarily right. However, its not like you're 30 and marrying a 50 year old. You're not even 21 yet and thinking of marrying someone who's 40+, that's a bit of a warning sign since he's gone through so much more than you have and its not clear how much you really have in common. If you have family support or support from your friends and you really do love him, go for it and good luck.

Answer 3

The problem with getting married so young is that you don't know what makes a good marriage. I met my husband at 17, had our first child at 19, and got married at 22. I love him very much but honestly if I was single now I would not pick him as a husband. My advice to you would be to go ahead and move in together, but DON'T have kids yet and see how it works out. Also your brain doesn't finish developing until you're about 21. You could be so wrapped up in your emotions and love for this girl that you are not thinking rationally. Or, maybe you're right, this is the person you will spend the rest of your life with. But how could it possibly hurt to wait a couple years to tie the knot and start having babies?

Answer 4

Make sure at any age you are prepared for marriage. Your worried about starting a family before he is too old. I would say wait quite awhile. Marriage if taken seriously is supposed to be forever. It is more work than you can ever imagine. I got married at 20 and together with my hubby since I was 17. I am now 24 and he is 30. I understand your concerns about starting a family, but older doesn't mean he cannot start a family. Give it a few more years. Make sure it's what you really want. I'm not saying that you have to do this. It is a mere suggestion from one who learned how hard and fulfilling marriage can be. Talk to him and start couples counseling early. Make sure both of you are on the same page.

Answer 5

At 20

Answer 6

I wouldn't say you can put an age on marriage or on who you love, but I would recommend that you make sure it is right. I married my first husband when I was 19. We were married for ten years, and he was 12 years older then me. It didn't work out, but looking back on it...I can see the age difference had alot to do with it and the fact that I was just too young and not ready for marriage. I am 32 now, recently remarried to a man my age and we have been married for two years. We are closer then my husband and I in my first marriage....mostly because we communicate well and we respect each other. I can't say that everyone will go through the same thing...but what I regret most is that I was so young and most likely wasn't ready for marriage.

Answer 7

No, don't get married until you are older...

I got married at 19 to a man that was 16 years older than I was. The age gap caught up to us and the marriage ended in divorce 3 years later.

I'm now much older and have come to realize that I didn't know half of what I thought I knew back then.

Answer 8

OMG!!

I am 21, and I got married when I was 20 to a man almost 20yrs older than me too! We are still married and may I say happy. We are going to have a kid in about a couple of years, before he gets too old. But if you feel like he is the right man for you, go ahead. And older men are great partners they treat you so much better than the younger man.

I love my husband and so far its been 1yr since we got married.

Answer 9

the answer is no way!! You should never get married at your age. I was way too young...18 almost 19 when I got married and it ended in disaster. I married a man 6 years older than me. he wasn't as old as your guy but in my case it was a disaster. As far as having kids before he is too old, my uncle is in his 70's and has teenagers at home. It's not fair to the kids...he doesn't have the stamina or the desire to go do all the things that kids should do with their dads at that age.

Find someone closer to your age and in a few years you will be ready to settle down.

Answer 10

He's almost 40? Why would you sacrifice your self by marrying a man and getting tied down with children that you will end up having to raise yourself? You're an adult so of course you date whom you choose but that kind of commitment would be a mistake and why would a 40 year old man want to be with a 19 year old? I'd have to question his reasonings for beginning a relationship with a 17 year old--that's how old you were when you started right? That's illegal and he might be a pedophile. You need to watch yourself.

Answer 11

I think you should wait a couple more years because you are still young you dont need to rush if the guy loves you truly he will be there waitin. and i would not worry about him being 20 years older because my man is 19 years older than me also so dont feel ashamed for being in love with somebody older if you love him then you love him...