I have been with my fiance for about 5 years and it has been great except for the past year in which I feel we are drifting apart and I am not in love with him any more. I get angry easily with him and I believe it is because I feel some guilt and just want to end this relationship.I don't even enjoy making love with him anymore. Like I said the first 4 years we were together it was the greatest relationship I ever had, almost perfect. Howver, the past year for some reason I lost the desire to want to marry and I feel awful about it but I believe it is best to break this off either temporarily or for good. I just feel very guilty that I will cause a lot of pain for him in which I won't be able to forgive myself. Our families are close and are very fond of our relationship. I just can't keep living a lie...
2006-11-08 08:21:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So, you feel guilty because YOU STILL LOVE HIM !!! Get a grip on yourself !! If you cannot make a relationship last with someone whom it appears is doing you well, then how do you expect to make another one work. People will change over time, that is the challenge of all relationships and the altimate reward is being able to say, and I wish I could, that we worked all things out and are still together. I wish I could have said this as my grandparents did, after 55 YEARS of marrage. The agenda of another is the most dangerous part, just what is yours ???
2006-11-08 08:28:37 · answer #1 · answered by ludwigkicker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then dont. Above all be true to thyself. You sound like you have pretty much made up your own mind that its over and time to move on. If you married now,in your state of mind, the marriage would be a total disaster in a short time and that would be worse for all involved. Never ever get married because of family desires or anyone elses for that matter because they dont have to live your life for you. Your heart will tell you when its right and the right person. Life is way too short to live in a marriage being unhappy all the time. Best to break it off now then to do it after youre married. Forget the guilt, he will live, besides just maybe if you feel this way,he just might too. You two have been together long enough to sense each others feelings. Good luck,no matter which way you go.
2006-11-08 08:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the circumstances you describe, it's only natural to feel guilty. It's a long-term relationship, his feeling will get hurt, your families are close, and you said yes to his proposal, so you will be breaking your promise. You just have to realize, though, that it's much, much better to be honest NOW so that you don't waste any more precious years of each other's lives, or worse, marry him and then make him go through a divorce down the road. Understand that by breaking up sooner rather than later is better for everyone. So swallow your guilt, and just do what you have to do.
2006-11-08 08:26:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think about how he would feel if you went through with the marriage...be honest and up front. Maybe there is something you both can work on to bring it back together, if not then let it go. In the long run you both will be happier and may still have a friendship instead of animosity towards one another. Good luck
2006-11-08 08:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by niedermn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to think about this. Why were the first 4 years great - what happened this last year? See if you can work things out. Perhaps prolong the engagement so you guys can talk. Are you getting nervous about the wedding? Dig deep to find out the real reasons for this...it sounds like you guys are either in a rut and you've gotten bored, or you're getting cold feet.
2006-11-08 08:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feeling guilty means you really care about this person.But be honest and do the right thing. break it off the best way you can. It is better to be honest than to live a lie by staying and don't try to stay because of the families.
2006-11-08 08:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a big committment. You should be sure of it before you go into it. If you feel you need the time to decide if marriage and your fiance is what you really want, they you should take it. This is between you and her, not anyone else. Talk to her about it and do what you feel is right in your heart. Going thought with something you're not sure of just to keep the peace is only going to hurt everyone down the road. (just my opinion).
Good Luck.
2006-11-08 08:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are proberbly having pre marriage jitters..
option1 .. start spending some quality time with him. might get you to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place
alternatively you might want to go for a long holiday for a couple of months or so.. really away from all memories.... see if you are able to clean your head... start missing him realize why you love him and know why you want to be with him.
on the other hand the above excercise might also let you know your true feelings (extreme proximity/ extreme distance) for you to finally decide why you (you and not your family) want or do not want to spend you rest of YOUR life with your fiance
2006-11-08 08:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by borntough 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was on the receiving end of a deal like this and now I am really glad she dumped me instead of doing something she really didn't want to do. You can try to be kind but it's still going to hurt. He'll get over it.
2006-11-08 08:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by slippped 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt matter you need to do what you feel is right, i think that maby your feeling that you have someone else out there or something else living out there and you stuck with the same man.. i think that you need to tell him the truth and you need to tell the families yourself..you will get through with this dont worry
2006-11-08 08:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by yeppaa its mii! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋