marriage Question plese help?

Question

ok here it is i got with my husband when i was seventeen.we got married as soon as i turned eighteen. im 21 now and have grown alot but it seems im growing away from my husband the things i didnt know i wanted then i know now and my husband doesnt want the same things get this i love him but he has 2 kids and i have one from when i was sixteen he doesnt want any more kids because he says he has enough but i do o want a life away from home a carrer but he only wants me to have a part time job since i have grown there is so many differant things we want out of life and there not the same so please help me what do i do

Answer 1

Well this is exactly what I did only we had one kid together and that was it. I had realized that when I was younger I had different wants and desires and I grew up and he didnt he was a little older then I was but I just didnt want to do it anymore. And I didnt there were other things in play but I just knew I couldnt do it. Thats the problem with getting married so young and no matter how many times you tell someone that is only 18 not to do it they still arent going to take the advise.

You want different things out of life then he does, so if you really love him and you want to make it work start doing things that you want to do with or without his support it doesnt mean that you have to divorce him, but start going to school or whatever goals you have in mind and he may follow he might take a step back and look at the situation like I should do something with my life too shes accomplishing all of these things, and you would be like an inspiration.

There were a lot of other things between my ex and I that I just felt we couldnt work out I we had completly different view points on just about everything and there was more than that. Bottom line was I was to young to get married and didnt know what I wanted. I think if you love him then do what you can, although I do think that it would be in your best interest to get a divorce because there is a whole world out there that you just havent experienced and I think that being married is great but at its right time I have heard of so many marriages failing because of this same reason they were far too young and hadnt really taken advantage of whats really out there for them.

Just to sum things up I think since you married so young do what you feel is going to make you happy. If you really love him and feel that you can make things work then try my approach of the situation. To me I know that I just wanted to do more things I guess more then anything I never really gave myself to be alone. I think that is so important for anyone to have I think that they should live by themselves for awhile and learning how to take care of themselves without relying on someone else and only relying on themselves. You gain so much experience and I believe it makes your next relationship so much better because you dont become as needy. Good Luck I hope you get to accomplish the things that you want out of life.

Answer 2

It's hard being married young. You two should try counseling first. Try to come up with a solution to the matters of having children. Maybe, there is a reason he doesn't want children right now. Does he have to support the two other children? Three children can be a hard feat to accomplish. Counseling works wonders sometimes. The hardest things about being married are that your spouse can change. You have grown up some yes, but when you marry young it can the the hardest time. Why does your husband not want anymore children. There could be legitamate fears. Don't consider divorce as of yet. There are many ways if both of you are willing to grow closer in love. Why does he not want you to have a job. You need to talk to him about it. I hope this helps a little. As you have learned marriage is not always about flutterings in your stomach. As I have suggested, I would seek help from a marriage counselor together and seperately.

Answer 3

You are now realizing all of the reasons that people have given for years about NOT getting married and/or having kids as soon as you turn 18.

You've made your decision - it's time to live with it.

What you are going to do is raise your kids, run your household and put any ambitions that you had for yourself aside until they are old enough to allow you time to get back to your own goals.

You are going to try and communicate with your husband and keep your marriage as intact as you can, even if the two of you have different goals and desires; splitting up now would harm your kids emotionally. Get back to school or your career as soon as you can get the time away from the kids - for us, that was around the time our oldest hit 13 and could look after the youngest (who was 5) without constant supervision.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Talk to him sweetie, sincerely and see what really should come about of all this. You should tell him honestly and straight out that you do want another child but with him and see how he takes it...I mean you must forfill your life goals and desires as well as him. If it means doing your thing and he does his own and your not always together like before so be it. Thats life making compromises and giving up a few things to make your partner happy. But hell it will all work out in the end, trust me where every there is love there is hope!!!!

Answer 5

yes people change that is part of life and yes you got married young you were too young to know what life meant much less what you wanted in life. I will tell you it is hard on your own but if you are not happy in your marraige and you two are not willing to meet in the middle on what you want in life then honey it is time to move on. Staying married for the kids is the wrong answer, don't wait until the kids are grown. If you are not happy they will know that and they will not be happy.

My parents tried to work things out for us kids and we knew everytime my mom wasn't happy... when she finally decided to move on she was happy and that made it easier on us, not being in a stressful household. my mom is now remarried and has been for 17 years, happily with someone that shares the same dreams and goals that she does.

My advice to you is make you happy not everybody else, if you know what you want... thengo after it... it will all work its self out. i'm not saying it will be easy. But the results in the end could be exactly what your looking for in your life.

good luck! Make the decisions for you no one else... you've got one life, live it with no regrets!

Answer 6

This is sad because you both got married way too young, and you both have children from different relationships. This is exactly why getting married in your teens is not a good idea. People do change a lot from 18-25 and it's best to wait to get married until you've dated around and know what you want.

Answer 7

We all change as we get older. You'll find that when you get in your 30's your wants and needs will have changed again.If you want a career you should have one he does not own you. What you should do depends on if you want to save your marriage or not. If you want to you'll both have to work on it and it's not easy. You might have to seek professional help, if that's the case he should go with you. If he won't then you need to go alone. That will help you become the strong person that you need to be. If you know in your heart that this isn't what you want then hard as it will be on all concerned you should leave otherwise you'll both be miserable and the children will suffer right along with you.

Answer 8

Counseling might help you both sort out things. If you have a church you go to, you can get guidance there, or through a marriage counselor.

Good luck.

Answer 9

you made your choices very young.i bet you know now that you did not know everything when you were 17.

i hope you know how hard it is to make it on your own.
the best thing to do is to get along and raise your children together.you will still be young when they are all grown.

Answer 10

MY LIFE IS OLMOST IN THE SAME SITUATION RIGHT NOW BUT SOOOOO I CAN'T HELP U BUT I WILL B CHECKING UR ANSWER 2 SEE IF IT CAN HELP ME 2. GOOD LUCK AND TAKE THE BEST DECISION 4 U