When's a good time to have a baby?

Question

* we've been married for a few months but dating for a few years
* I have a B.A. but work for my father-in-law so job security is no issue
* he has < 2 years of school to finish so we can have 2 salaries instead of one
* we own our own home & aren't struggeling with bills
* my mom does child day care and will watch my children for little -no cost
* I'm ready yesterday and he wants to wait a year so he'll be done school by the time the baby is born.

What do you think? I'm just curious. He's stubborn so I know we'll be waiting until he's ready no matter what.

Answer 1

do this tell him no more sex unless it's to get pregnant then see how fast you get your baby

Answer 2

I know it's hard to wait when you're first ready, but you two need to enjoy your time together as a couple!

Wait for at least a year after he gets a job. While his getting a job may be great, it's not secure until the first year. It's pretty insane to have him get a job AND adjust to a new baby in the same year.

WAIT until he's done with school. I had a baby while I was in school, and let me tell you--it is DIFFICULT! While you may be ready, it may be best to wait 2 years.

Remember: you have all the time in the world! It's not like you're going to run out of time anytime soon. Just enjoy each other's company and get used to being married, not parents...yet.

Answer 3

It is wonderful that your married and have good jobs and all and don't have to worry about money.

Maturity is the issue here. Are you ready to interrupt your lifestyle and the things that you like to do without feeling any regret? Children are a blessing and always take up alot of our time. Spending much more time with them doing the things that children need and want takes a very big committment from both adults too.

When one adult isn't ready, chances are that that same person will not participate or take responbility like you would when things need to get done. This will create friction in the relationship. so many have said yes, let's do it, but later on regret it.

If your both ready, then go for it. children are the best thing that will add spice to your lives in the long run, always!

Answer 4

I think the earlier the better. It is more difficult now, but in years to come, it will be easier and much more fun. The funest part of my life were when the kids left home and we could travel and do other things while we were considerably young. Then the 2nd thing was I started having grand children when about 40 years old. This was cool to be somewhat young with the grandchildren. Now I have 24 grandchildren, and 10 GG children. I have had all these years to do things with about 2/3 of those grand children. And it is so much fun being with the new generation. If I knew how much fun grandchildren were , I would pass up the children and go directly to grandchildren. LOL

Answer 5

Wow, that's a big question!
I wouldn't worry so much about when is the "right time" financially and career wise. I'd concentrate more on the relationship stage. Marraige is a big step mentally (all of a sudden its not "mine" its "ours") and your husband may need more time to adjust to that. Also keep in mind that the dynamics of your relationship will change dramatically with a child.
It would help if you sat down with your husband and asked him why he wants to wait. It could be for financial reasons but it just might be because he's still adapting to married life or he wants to build a stronger relationship with you first before having a child.

Answer 6

Don't put off...if that's what you both want. There really isn't such a thing as the "right time" to have a baby. But with your description ...you seem pretty set...to have a stable environment to bring one into.

I waited....for the perfect time..situation.....and well. Now I can't have kids..

Our bodies were made to have children while we are younger. The older we get....the harder it is on our bodies and our eggs aren't as viable. I know you read about women having children in their 50s...but they are rare and usually not with their own eggs (unless they froze them when they were younger).

If you feel really "ready" then talk to him....point out all your reasons that your ready. Stubborn or not....your opinion in this is just as important as his.

Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Wait the year until he's comfortable, otherwise, there could be resentment, on his part. You guys sounds like you're in a good place to start a family, financially and relationship-wise, but it doesn't sound like he's emotionally ready to commit to a child yet. Allow him the year to complete school and get to a point in his life where he feels ready. Additionally, you will be further into your marriage and be able to enjoy that time together, before jumping into parenthood :)

Answer 8

I think that you are perfectly ready. However, because you have only been married a few months, I suggest spending time together and enjoying life as a married couple. Have fun being able to pack up and go for the weekend!

I'm sure he has his reasons. Wait a year and have fun!

Answer 9

if he don't what the baby then you can't force him. but i think 1 year after marriage is not a long period. May be you can whit a year and then have a baby. believe me . Pregnancy is a perfect period, but when you have you baby everything is different from the firs day. He will go to party and you have to stay at home. He will sleep during the night and you will wake up at least2 times for breastfeeding. So it will be hard for you. So I think you can weight for year .
try to become mother when you are 22-27 years old!

Answer 10

Why is it that we always give in to our husbands and blame it on the stubbornness.It's your body and you no when the time is right not him.If you are healthy now and ready then go for it because tomorrow anything could happen that would really interfere with you having a baby.Sounds like the time is right now not tomorrow.If we all waited for the right time I'm sure I wouldn't be here now.

Answer 11

All the reasons you have stated are not the reason to have a child. A child is a lifetime commitment, you have one when you know without a shadow of a doubt that you are ready to offer taht child finacial emotional and spiritual stability. Give your marriage a little time , let it be all about you and your husband...With a child things change for a season. Parenting is one of the most rewarding things in life ,and also one of the hardest!