If you keep a journal, aren't you worried about someone reading it?

Question

I'm married and I share my feeling with my husband, but there are just some things I need to unload that don't need to fall on him. I'm worried about writing it down (and looking CRAZY) and having someone find it. How do you do it? I think a locked diary is too juvenile for me, and possibly concerning for my husband.

Cybele - interesting suggestion - two journals.

Nikki - I value your 'novel'. Thanks for responding - really great advice.

Answer 1

Write it down, vent your frustration and then destroy it.

Answer 2

I have journaled for many years and I keep my old notebooks (I use spiral notebooks like the Mead kind). When I moved in 1991 I got rid of the ones I had accumulated back then, I think I burned them or just threw them in the trash. I actually felt regrets for doing that but I also know I have written some things that I would really not want anyone to read. Now I have accumulated more and occasionally it crosses my mind that some of my written stuff I would not want anyone to read. I live alone and I am single so I do not have to worry about anyone reading what I write when I am not home, just if something happened to me and family members came into my living quarters and found them.
Maybe I should burn some more of them some day soon. That or just trust that if by chance someone else reads them that it would be okay.
One solution for you could be to keep it in a locked safe box and keep the key hidden where no one would find it or you could destroy your writings periodically. Your husband should respect your need to write down your thoughts and feelings and if he is a good man he will not snoop in your personal notes. If you want to keep your notes you might want to lock them up and just trust that if something happened to you that if someone read them it would be okay.

Answer 3

I just put my journal in a special place where only I can know where it is. Well, except for one time. I left it on my moms beb once over the weekend and she read it. I was pretty embarrassed. And some other things to but I really can't explain what I was feeling. I don't have locks on my journal, expecially if its those cheap ones where the key is the same to every lock. I put my journal under my pillow that why no one could find it. and I completely understand the part where you shared your feeling with you husband. I shared mine with my boyfriend (now fiance) so that we could talk about them and solve any problems we had together and not just assume things were okay.

Answer 4

I kept one for a long time. It wasn't an every day type of thing, I only wrote in it when I had to get something out - I instantly felt better after wards.
Anyway, my boyfriend read it one day. He got upset about some things in it, and I was livid that he had invaded my privacy. Things were sorted out, I told him that that's the kind of thing I write, and I don't really mean the things I write, word for word. It's just the stuff you'd say when you're really angry or hurt, just to inflict pain elsewhere.
Well a couple years went by and he read it again. Again, he was mad, I was mad, it wasn't a good time. We almost broke up over it....
Now I am afraid to write. Because he will eventually find it, and quite possibly will want to read it again...
It really is a shame, because he has blocked that outlet for my anger/feelings.
My point to this novel is that take it into consideration. Imagine him having a journal, where he puts all his crazy thoughts (and you are right, they do sound crazy). Wouldn't you feel compelled to read it? To find out what (you think) he really feels about the two of you? So I know why my man read it, I know why your man might, and I know it causes a lot of trouble. Take from this what you will, and make your decision. It feels good to let it out, but fighting is not so fun.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

password proteced word doc is a good idea. Or save it to a disk each time you write, erase it from the computer, and keep the disk somewhere safe - less obvious than a journal with a lock (I agree - very pre-teen-ish).

If you're just writing to vent/de-stress, consider typing it out and then deleting it. It really does the same amount of good as keeping it. But that doesn't work, or course, if you're keeping a journal for the sake of holding on to memories.

Answer 6

I'm honest and upfront with everyone I meet. I don't keep secrets, let people tell me secrets, or share secrets. I don't need a journal because I don't lie to people about anything and I have nothing to hide. If I did keep a journal, I would know the right things to write down. So, if someone did find it, there wouldn't be any incriminating evidence against me or someone I know.

On a serious note, a journal is completely healthy to have so that you can still "vent" if you are upset about things and unable to get support from a loved one. I think probably the safest, least conspicious place to keep a journal is between your matress and boxspring in your bed. I bet he never changes the sheets, so he wouldn't even think of looking there.

I hope that you can find the support you need. But if you do start journaling, be careful what you write. If it's something you don't want him to know, you probably shouldn't write it down.... maybe you should go to Catholic Confession.

Answer 7

Well,I used to keep journals,but I don't have patience do to it anymore.When I had a journal(and I still have,cause I still keep my journals,even though I don't write on them anymore),yes,I was worried that someone was gonna read it.Even though I'm not married,I believe the people with whom you live,no matter who they are,must respect your privacy.In every relationship-even romantic ones-there's always a place where the other person's world ends and yours starts.What I mean is,we should feel like we can share our life and secrets with our loved ones,but this doesn't mean that we'll do it.The one who truly loves you is the one who listens to what you have to say and respects what you don't want to say,knowing you will mention the subject again when you feel the need to.Most of all,you're a human being,and somethings are just better kept inside.And I think it's OK for and adult to keep a journal.

Answer 8

Buy a very small safe or lock box and keep it locked in there. It's much easier to hide a key than a journal, or a combination would be even better.

Answer 9

Keep a journal on the computer in word format and just protect it using a password.

Answer 10

the part about having a diary means that you sometimes feel like someones about to read it but its yours and yours only, put big words on the front that say if you read this i'll kill you or this is my woman/ time of month journal

Answer 11

i never write any thing down to keep, i feel no matter what you have written down it will always come back to bite you in the but! if any thing ever happens and you have a journal hidden away watch out.