My wife and I have been arguing about petty stuff, and the fact that I am becoming depressed. The problem is that everything we argue about is told to her friends. I like to have a relationship where people dont influence my wife or my decisions, or come between us. Whenever there is a problem it seems like my wife runs to her friends and tells them everything that is going on. I mean everything from the fact that I told her I dont feel as sexually respondent, and that I am depressed which is really personal. How can I make her stop doing this? I tried to talk to her but she says she has nobody else to talk to. I just want her to keep my business to us, like a marriage.
2006-11-08 06:04:10 · 34 answers · asked by Joe Bob Charlie, Joe Bob Chopper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good luck.
It's what they do, they talk about all the stuff that you thought was personal and private to all of their friends for no good reason.
2006-11-08 06:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by Sgt. Pepper 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you 100%. I like to keep my relationship issues between us, because it's our business and our business only. I can't say I've never talked to a friend or another family member about problems, though. It's only when it's a very large problem, and doesn't happen very often. You know this is said time after time and I haven't read the other posts, but sounds like maybe counseling would do her some good. It's a way to get things off of her chest, and yet it will remain confidential. Suggest it to her, and keep reminding her how important it is to you that she not tell everyone else your business. By the way, would she mind it if you were going around to all your guy friends and telling them about her problems, some which may even be embarressing? I doubt she'd enjoy that.
2006-11-08 06:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You tell her that you find it disloyal to your relationship and expect it to stop. If she can not do that, you be a self--respecting man and end the toxic mess you've had the misfortunate of stumbling in..
Women who do this do not stop and as some other responders to your post think it's just something you suck up and deal with. Not the case. If they don't respect you and your relationship, they do not deserve the relationship they're in. Don't complicate things. Do what needs to be done for you.
2016-09-05 08:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage counceling, preferably from a pastor in a good church. What she's doing telling her friends about personal things like that about the 2 of you is no one elses business. That stuff should stay between the 2 of you.
I know from personal expirience because I used to do that, talk about personal things about my wife and I to friends, and even sometimes strangers. And it almost tore our marriage apart, because I wasn't thinking about her feelings about it first.
She needs to think about your feelings about what she's doing and how much it's upsetting and hurting you.
But I urge you to seek counceling, she may resist thinking there is nothing wrong and that she doesn't need marriage counceling, but I will tell you, it helps. My wife and I have been going through marriage counceling and it's been making a HUGE difference in our marriage. The things I used to talk about with other's has stopped, because I think about her and her feelings first before I even think about telling them. And if it's something I'm not sure about, I ask her first.
Hope that this helps.
Take care and God Bless
2006-11-08 06:52:46 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hahahahaha! I'm sorry but trying to get a woman to not talk about her relationships is like trying to make it stop raining in Brazil.
I don't mean to be unsympathetic. I've been in your situation. You just have to live with it. She isn't trying to humiliate you, she's seeking understanding and reinforcement.
Maybe you should take a leaf from her book, and start talking to YOUR friends about the problems. If you're depressed you shouldn't try to bear it all alone.
2006-11-08 06:18:56 · answer #5 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her know that she needs to talk to you and only you when it comes to your relationship. I actually had this problem with my bf, we both did this and he used to always get mad at me about it. I let him know...well, you do the same thing, why is it a problem when i do it? He never had an answer that actually made sense.
I bet if you told her that you told a buddy at work about yall argument, she would get upset about it. She wouldnt want you telling her personal business. Just start letting her know that you are telling your friends about yall relationship (even tho you wont be), just play with her a little and see what she says or how she feels about it.
2006-11-08 06:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by yagurlbubblez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's just say there is no stopping them girls are very open to other female friends and will spill almost anything that goes on in there life to them i know i have the same problem with my wife
the best thing i would do or say what i did is go to her friend or friends and tell them this a problem between you and your wife and it makes it harder for you and her to talk it out when they put there two cent's into your's and her life it worked for me
2006-11-08 06:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by and687 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she really feels the urge to talk to someone about the problems you all are having, then you and she can do it together at a marriage counselor. That way you know everything said is kept in confidence. Then just hope she doesn't run and blab to her friends about your counseling session. Either that or just stop talking to her. No one likes a Blabber Mouth!
2006-11-08 06:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by stacye5398 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes people learn the hard way.
Come home and tell your wife "I was talking to Joe about how I don't feel sexually respondent and he says (fill in with something sexist or stupid). If you can focus on something she doesn't want other people know like her like or dislike of anal sex. She will naturally get upset and then you can ask her what the difference is between what she does and what you did.
2006-11-08 06:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well I don't know how to get your wife to stop other than telling her how would she like it if you told all your friends
about her ? ! Have the two of you gone to a counselor
for the problems that you are facing ? I think that might
be a big help for both of you, & also help you overcome your depression. good luck !
2006-11-08 06:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take her away from the house...It's her safe haven....Talk to your wife in a calm, sweet manner. have her attention.....take her by the hands..stand in front of her....and ask her not to embarrass you to the world.
Tell her if she has a problem with you, you will work on it. Explain to her that each time she ridicules you to others she is hurting your marriage and putting wedges to deepen the gulf that she has started.
Also tell her those others don't care about her as you do..they wouldn't support her as you do...and they wouldn't take her side over their husbands.
Gossips are not happy people....and the reason is they tear down with their mouths..tell her if she has to talk about you that it be positive so as to preserve the marriage.
2006-11-08 06:15:17 · answer #11 · answered by debbie2243 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋