Under law in my state you have to be separated one year prior to filing for divorce regardless if the divorce is mutual or not. Knowing that there will be a divorce...I am getting serious about someone I met online...we have never met in person, however have known each other for about one year and a half, our relationship has nothing to do with my divorce or the situation with my husband...our problems existed years prior. My marriage has been one of mental and verbal abuse in which I finally found the courage to remove myself from...the marriage has only lasted this long because there are children. Now that the process has begun, I am concerned about moral issues while waiting out the time restrictions of filing. I believe this online person is worth the time and effort, but I also believe with our attraction being so strong to meet now will result in sleeping together and I don't want us starting off morally wrong since I am not divorced yet. What do you all think?
2006-11-08 05:59:19 · 21 answers · asked by Idontknow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Certainly it is alright to move on if your not on the rebound. Lots of people see others while awaiting a divorce preceding. You may want to sleep with this fella for a while as you do not really know him other than from the Internet, and everyone knows that we can present as anyone we please on-line but can be someone completely different in person or after we honestly get to know them. If you think that you may want a long term relationship with this fella then you'll have plenty of time to sleep together and so won't need to when you first meet.
2006-11-08 06:06:01 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to wait. First, you will have issues from your divorce no matter how many years it has been coming and you need to resolve that. A new relationship is difficult enough w/o adding a side dish of divorce to it. 2nd thing, coming from a girl who has met several men from the Internet, what you perceive to be a strong attraction can change the moment you actually meet. NEVER base any decisions of your "real" life on someone from the Internet you have yet to meet. Be very careful with that. I wish you the best...
2006-11-08 06:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Snick S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be unwise to pursue any relationship for at least a year after the divorce is final.
Look, a divorce is a failed marriage. Every failure has a cause. In the case of divorce, the cause is one of the following:
a) You misjudged the character of the woman you married.
b) You exibited inappropriate behavior.
c) All of the above.
Which ever the case, you need to step back and reevaluate things. You need to establish better decision making criterea in order to avoid a pattern.
Bottom line, you shouldn't be in ANY relationship right now. You're just not ready yet.
2006-11-08 06:07:42 · answer #3 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Legal" divorce is just a piece of paper, IMO. As long as you're honest with the new person about your situation, I don't see it as objectionable to be moving on with your life while you're waiting for the formality. Marriage is not exactly about a piece of paper, it's about committment. Once the committment has been explicitly denounced - there's no more obligation. I encourage you to use your best judgement in proceeding with the new relationship - but I disagree with the view that your personal life has to be put "on hold" completely for however long it takes to get a divorce finalized. It's not like the aging process grinds to a halt while you're waiting for the paperwork to go through.
2006-11-08 06:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy! Give it a rest. The online thing is more than likely a fantasy, both for you and the other person. You need to take time to regain your own identity and establish for yourself a set of personal goals you may not have been able to achieve when married. Diving into a new relationship right off the bat is a bad idea.
2006-11-08 06:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by Reo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your self a favor and don't discuss your Pryor mar rage to any one because in the future it can be used against you...And no you need to get rid of your Husband before you meet with this man...Because how do you no that you are not attracting the same kind of man...You need to heal from the kind of abuse that you have been in before you get into another one..Because you have low self esteem and low self worth because of what you have gone through...You have to really check your self or you will end up in the same relationship..Because you could be setting your self up because you are not thinking st right...or of a clear mind....And you don't no this man All you no is what He has told you and He also no that you are at a week point in your life...So no don't meet with Him till you are sure of all things....And stay strong in your self...and don't do nothing to hurt yourself esteem no more than it already is...God bless you through your ruff times...And pray before you make decisions..and give Jesus time to answer you...Because he is a very busy Lord...
2006-11-08 06:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do this backwards - wait until you are totally divorced, then give yourself a year or two to work on yourself. Then, date if that is what you want. Since you have children, you have to be extra careful and don't be selfish, spend your time with them. Cut the online junk.
2006-11-08 06:17:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do it, i was so in love with this guy. i was waiting for my divorce to be final and met this guy, he was there when it became final we ended up married 4 months after my divorce, the first 7 years was great, i now have been separated for 7 years, he walked out on me, he lives with this home wrecking whore and they now have 2 kids and we are still married.i have a bummer life, but if i were you i would live it up and check out other guys as well.
2006-11-08 06:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you put those papers into action, for me it was over. You took your vows before God first and in your heart if you feel God has released you from this marriage then go ahead. However you say you worry about morals and plan on sleeping with the guy before your married again??? Isn't that morally wrong?
Anyway, pray, be safe and don't screw up your kids!
2006-11-08 06:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age you don't need to worry about the morality issue...nobody else does.
But Dr. Joy Brown on the radio says that when one breaks up, they should take one year to reflect and work on themselves. That is good advise, because then you don't take old issues into the new relationship.
2006-11-08 06:19:11 · answer #10 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋