I am in the middle of a divorce, my husband wants me back, there are kids involved. However I have fallen in loe with my first love from years ago. now both men want me and i'm torn who do i choose?
2006-11-08 05:57:03 · 10 answers · asked by Tiffany 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
clearly you need to do a side by side comparison. let one have you, then immediately, in front of the first, test ride the second. that'll give you some accurate information to make your decision with. if all fails, e-mail me and I'll do what i can to assist.
2006-11-08 06:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you divorcing? If you reunite with your husband do you believe the issue(s) that initiated the divorce will be gone? He's the one you know so that is familiar ground...and the father of your kids (I assume).
The "first love" may sound kewl, and may be a great guy but it's been years, as you said, since you have been together...you may or may not be romantically compatible now. You're likely different people than when you were sweethearts. Just because you still feel attraction toward him, be realistic about the chances of a relationship working out with him.
Weigh each situation separately, as well as how life would be if you chose neither, and went on with your divorce and was a single woman for a while. Jumping from one relationship into another is rarely a good thing...
...but it's your decision...don't take it lightly...only you know what is best for you and the kids.
2006-11-08 14:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't forget there was a reason why you and your husband were getting a divorce. If you and your husband stay together you two should go through counseling. Make sure it's what you really want cause there's nothing wrong with moving on to something new. Don't stay for the children stay cause you really want to be in a committed relationship with your husband.
2006-11-08 14:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into it! Jumping from one relationship into another isn't usually good. Take some time for yourself to be the most important thing in his life. Let them work to show you who is best for you. Not fight over you...but work to show you who is best. For now just do a little bit of that polyamor thing. You can love them both for now until, and if, you decide which one you want to stay with. Some people think that men won't do this...but they will if that is the only option they are given. Good luck sweetie.
2006-11-08 14:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think of your children first. Are you sure you are in love with your old boyfriend? Or is it in love with the prospect of starting new??? I made the mistake of moving in with the first guy I had feelings for after my divorce. Still with him but if I knew then what I know now I would have waited. For my sanity and for my kids. They were as much an emotional wreck as I was.....
2006-11-08 14:00:41 · answer #5 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You choose your children first, and quit being selfish. You should not have gotten involved with someone before being divorced.
2006-11-08 14:18:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEITHER.
Take a break from both. Remove yourself from the wife/mother role to discover WHO you are, before you decide to be an extension of either one of them. Also consider your children, and what's in store for them.....Perhaps spend some qualtiy/enjoyable time with your children as well. Please DONT rush into or out of ANYTHING while you're in this unstable frame of mind!
2006-11-08 14:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who are you happy with? does your husband treat your good? why are you in the middle of a divorce if he doesn't. i would say no to both, find yourself and then try it.
2006-11-08 13:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by vgplamondon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who ARE you happiest with?
I'm not asking who MAKES you happiest, because I don't believe in people making other people happy.
2006-11-08 14:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHO MAKES YOU HAPPIEST AND REMEMBER KIDS MATTER AND JUST DO WHAT YOU FEEL RIGHT!
2006-11-08 14:28:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋