How do I suggest a prenup with my fiancé?

Question

I will not try to make this long. My fiancé and I have been together 7 years. We own our own home, owe little debt, and have good jobs. We would like to get married next year because we want to have kids soon thereafter. My dilemma lies in how to ask him for a prenuptial agreement. Within the next 10 years, I will be coming into a generous inheritance and ownership of real estate. My desire is to keep most of it in my family, especially for any of my future children. I would make sure that he was taken care. I know most of this is established in a will and trust, but I also have other assets I want to protect before our marriage. How do I ask him for a prenuptial agreement without offending him?

Answer 1

I don't know if the way you ask matters as much as the request itself. Either he WILL be offended, or he won't be. If he's a rational person who looks at the practical side of things, he will not be offended at all. But if he's one of those mushy emotional types, it might cause problems no matter "how" you ask. My fiancé and I discussed getting a pre-nup; we even consulted a lawyer - but found out that everything we wanted to put in there is already provided for under state divorce laws. Neither of us felt that we were "setting ourselves up" for failure by considering a possibility of a divorce - rather, it would be unrealistic to figure that it would NEVER EVER happen. It might; it's just being realistic. The same way as you don't necessarily believe that you're going to get into an auto accident every time you buckle your seatbelt; people do get in accidents, and seatbelts can save lives; but the fact that one uses it does not indicate that they have a pessimistic or gloomy disposition.

Your approach should depend on your fiancé's outlook. It may be less of a problem than you think it is. But for the most part, it would probably be best to just bring it up with him in a heart-to-heart conversation, and see how he reacts. After all, if you can't be honest and forward with him - how can you expect the marriage to work?

Answer 2

You have got to be kidding! If this guy loves you, he'll sign. If you've been together 7 yrs without benefit of marriage, its time to start over. He CAN'T commit. By the way, if you use any of your inheritance to improve the quality of your lives together, it becomes community property anyway. If you use it only for yourself or your children make sure someone else is signator on rite of survivorship. DO NOT merge your funds with your fiance's. It becomes community property. Go to a good lawyer. I mean a REALLY good lawyer. You need protection for the future. A simple contract ie: What's mine is mine and what's yours is yours with abc as community property is NOT an adequate contract. You need to define future possibilities for you, your children and him. If there's a problem, tell him you want something for your children's education. You will probably looking at a minimum of $100,000 per 3 yr degree in a small university. If you want Ivy League, your guess is probably low.

Answer 3

You've been together 7 years and own a home, and now you want a prenuptial agreement because money is coming your way? Poor slob you're marrying. You don't want a marriage, you want a brief encounter to have kids. But seeing how tenuous you think marriage is anyway, you should have no trouble bringing this up. But expect him to bolt, cause that's what any sane man would do. Unless you look like Britney Spears, but she's paying 10 large to get out of that mess.

Answer 4

If you are coming in to money in 10 years, then you would have to wait that 10 years to marry him then. A prenup protects assets before a couple gets married. Personally, it would really offend me to even be asked.

Answer 5

I see issues already with this marriage. in case you are able to no longer get on the comparable website financially earlier marriage, I promise the matters will accentuate. Inheritance could properly be a useful reason for a pre nup. If there is kinfolk belongings in contact, the individuals who worked for it may prefer to maintain it interior the kinfolk, completely comprehensible. the undeniable fact which you would be able to no longer view this in a useful way concerns me. What if the tables have been grew to become and this grew to become into your inheritance? the 2nd subject that concerns me is the undeniable fact which you're already procuring nearly all of your wedding ceremony, honeymoon and on a regular basis expenses. Why is that this? this does not look balanced to me in any respect. He desires to guard his supplies even though it particularly is okay which you are able to spend all your money on a marriage? something is up right here. i think of you ought to be asking bigger questions than who must be paying the lawyer expenditures......

Answer 6

Ouch!

That is a dilly of a pickle. The only thing you can do is be honest. Let him know its not because you don't have faith in your relationship, it's just.... wait I guess that IS what is.

Never know he's folks may have a couple million in safe keeping for him also. Just waiting until your relationship ends to let him know it.

If you plan on marrying this man and having kids with him, I'm sure he will want whats best for your kids also, meaning "to me" you don't need a prenup.

JMHO

Answer 7

ok how about saying "I'd like us to have a prenup". After 7 years together, you should be able to talk openly and honestly. But you'll probably offend him anyway- for some reason, most people get upset when they need to plan their future like that.

Answer 8

he might take it as a sign that you dont have 100% faith in your marriage. You want to tell him right off the bat that this isnt true. tell him its your family's money, and you want to protect it. who knows what could happen in your lives, anything could happen and lead you to divorce...someone could get depressed, someone could have an awakening and leave suddenly, someone could get a mental illness, anything could happen to affect your marriage and its out of your control. Make sure he understands that you are 100% commited but you have to protect what is your family's.

Prenups just make srue you each get what is yours, no more no less. So its in his best interests too, to ensure that you dont get everything if you divorce and leave him with nothing. Its the only fair way.

Answer 9

There is no way to bring it up easily. You're just going to have to tell him that you don't feel that your marriage will end, but you need to protect what was left for you and that a prenup is a condition of you getting married.

If he loves you, he'll understand.

Answer 10

That's A Tough One...I Would Explain It Just As Eloquently To Him As You Have Here