okay i was with this guy he left me and the baby that is 19 months old now, he left in feb of this year, I came home and he had moved everything out and called me on the way to VA. He has been there everysince. He just now has sent some clothes for the baby in the mail, n which i intened to mail them back to him. Is that wrong, he has another child here that he doesnt acknowledge because he had her while we were together, now the girl in Va is pregenant. I feel he is just trying to impress her by sending our child something 9 months later. He doesnt even call and check on her. AM i wrong for moving on and recently getting involved with someone else? Am i wrong for refusing him the right to see his child or send her anything although this is the first effort hehas made. I went all the way to VA to pick him up once when he called begging and he only dipped out the motel room to return to her. [Advise plz
2006-11-08 05:18:15 · 10 answers · asked by Jessi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
no i am not in love with him anymore, i have gotten over him as long as we dont speak or have contact. I have known him for more then 10 years and he was my best friend. only to leave things like this, also when the baby was born he was too busy to sign the birth certificate so she doesnt have his name. he tried to clear that issue up but i dont want her to have anything to do with him is that wrong? Can he legally change my wishes?
2006-11-08 05:32:11 · update #1
Probably not the answer that you want to hear but, you owe it to your daughter to have contact with her father. It doesn't matter the circumstances under which he left, you should not refuse your daughter the opportunities to see him, even if it is not that often. He's a grown a** man so he's not going to be hurt by your actions, but your daughter will. If he sends something to her don't worry about the intention behind it, just keep the things for your daughter and give them to her later. Right now he's just making babies. And to your other question, by all means do move on with your life! You have every right to find someone else that will love you. My advice however, DO NOT get pregnant again before someone marries you. You are better than that. Just hold out for the right one, he's out there.
2006-11-08 05:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on--You and his baby are not his first priority. He made his choice by moving to VA without you and continuing his life. Take whatever crumbs he gives to your child to ease his guilt for being a crumb-bum Dad, but find and make a good life for you and your baby. Do not send anything to his new girlfriend's child unless you want to swap misery stories from this sperm donor you shared-that's the only thing you have in common. You have the memories-but she has the man. You can be okay as a single MOM and other men will respect you for it, but you must clean house and cut him loose. Set yourself FREE and Start the New Year out Right!
2006-11-08 13:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by condadocondo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well this guy sounds like a totaly awful person, and you should not have anything to do with him, if he is prepared to dip in and out of your life when he likes then it is not the type of farther you want for your child, I think he might be a user, and just is totally selfish, only thinking of his own needs and what will make him happy, take it as that you made a mistake and that you have the child to take care off, and fuss over, she is your only worry now, and you should focus your attention on that, delete his number change yours, and move home, so that you don't have to see him ever again.............................
2006-11-08 13:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by monkey luv... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are in a hard situation.
At this point, I would say it sounds like the guy is being a selfish jerk and is clearly not making an effort to be a good father. You're right to move on. You don't have to stand for that.
As for allowing him to see your child, that's up to you. I can understand why you wouldn't want your baby to be influenced by this jerk, but it can also be benficial for children to know who they came from and who their parents are. I think you should let him spend a limited amount of time with the child -- if necessary, with you supervising -- unless logistics make that impossible.
2006-11-08 13:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by GratteCiella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a total loser. Move on 100%. Tell him his contact is not welcome, and neither is he. His woman in VA will soon learn teh sad lesson this guy seems hell bent on teaching the women in his life.
2006-11-08 13:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he paying you child support? take his sorry @ss to court so that he has to!!!! keep the clothes girl, don't make your baby do without just for your pride. you're not wrong at all. just do what's right for your baby and that's all you need.
2006-11-08 13:22:26 · answer #6 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion? kick him to the curb w/ the rest of the trash where he belongs....If he does someday say he wants to be a proper father , I say give him the chance. You didnt say whether or not you're still in love with him ....
2006-11-08 13:27:05 · answer #7 · answered by ~LAX Mom~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Concentrate on raising your baby and don't give this jerk a second thought. Sounds like he enjoys making babies, but not raising them. Do it on your own and don't worry about him.
2006-11-08 13:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should move on, take care and goog luck
2006-11-08 13:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON.....MOVE ON...
2006-11-08 13:25:57 · answer #10 · answered by Rainbow Brite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋