Ladies, if your husband had an affair.................?

Question

Could you forgive him if HE was the one that openly told you, although you had NO CLUE he did it ?

Getting caught is 1 thing......What if he felt Soooooooo bad that he just blurts it out because its killing him. And remember, you had NO IDEA he did anything wrong AT ALL !!!

What say you ?

Ok, to clarify, IT WAS A QUESTION, NOT A CONFESSION !!!

Answer 1

yes!!! If he wont keep in touch with the woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Personally I hope that everyone that is answering is speaking from experience rather than "I think this is what I would do" perspective.

My husband cheating on me, it was a very strange situation and a long story, so I wont go into the details. Bottom line is this, he came to me, in tears,"knowing" I was going to leave him and that he screwed up and that he lost what HE felt was the best thing in his life. We cried a lot, I cried even more on my own. It hurts like hell. However, I love this man, and I still have issues every now and then with trusting him. They are my issues not his. I know he has been faithful to me ever since, however he gets into situations where women try to get him to cheat, he hasn't. I try hard to never bring up the past it would kill him more than me I believe. Sometimes we really screw up, he did and I know he regrets it and pays for it all the time, he tortures himself a lot, internalizes things thinking I am upset with him when im not. We have two beautiful children and another on the way, we would have never been blessed with them had I not give him another chance.

However, if you had asked me this question before it had happened I would have said he is gone... little did I know...

Thank you for asking this question, I every now and then need a reminder how much I value my husband. When you see someone all the time you sometimes take them for granted.

I hope this helps you in some way.

Have a GREAT day!

Answer 3

It is always easy to think that I would leave him, but if I was faced with that I don't honestly know how I would handle it! First I would hope that he hadn't "blurted out" when he was too close to me, because I am pretty sure I would start swinging!! After I calmed down, I would think about it! Are there other problems in the marriage, or was it just a thing he wanted to do? Are there children involved? Does it make more sense to keep him around and make the rest of his life a living nightmare? All of those things would be deciding factors!

I don't think the fact that you blurted it out makes any difference! So you felt guilty! You should, and more likely you were scared shitless she was going to find out anyway! Just because you told her doesn't make it any better! You are still an idiot!

Answer 4

I pity you having to wrestle with this dilemma. It's difficult and I recommend if you don't know how you feel to seek counseling. Even in one session they can provide points you need to think over and consider in making a decision.

I guess I myself would want to know why he did it. I would need to know if there was something wrong with me, or if it's a weakness on his part that has a chance of being repeated. I might be able to forgive, but forget is a whole different matter. I doubt our marriage could survive. I just don't think I'd have it in me to trust again. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Personally I wouldn't be able to. Because I know I would never trust him again and would be suspicious of anything I consider not 'normal behavior' which is way too tiring. But I think it would depend on your ability to forgive and forget. If you can't, this affair will only come up in every argument you have from now on and never really go away...

Answer 6

i'm so sorry that you're dealing with this! enable me ask you a question. might want to telling her husband replace the outcome of the concern, which incorporates mend what your hubby has done for your marriage? might want to it make you experience more effective contained in the little while period or for lengthy time period? Do you extremely favor to diminish your self to her aspect? you do not need to be dealt with this way and that i might want to in actual truth desire that you may want to placed extra potential into leaving your husband and taking him to the cleaners, then you might want to on condition that this woman suffers in her personal marriage. Revenge may nicely be sweet, besides the undeniable fact that it lasts purely a little while and honestly, you do not experience any more effective once you've sought your revenge. It finally ends up being a by no potential ending cycle of insanity. you're more effective than she is. All you should do is instruct it. walk round with your head held severe. after all, she is the single which ended up with your 'sloppy seconds' ;)

Answer 7

At different times in my life, my answer would be different....as a woman in my early 20s, I'd eventually have gotten over it. It would take alot of time, and alot of love, but I would have gotten there eventually.
But there's something about turning 30...It wouldn't matter how I found out, when I found out or who did the telling...I would never forgive. Some things are unforgivable...especially when that person has shared your life for an extended time...it would hurt too much

Answer 8

If I saw that my significant other came out of the closest and confessed to me of his wrong doings, and regretted ever doing it......I would forgive him, and let him know that my trust for him has changed. Of course your trust would have to get back to where it was over time; but I would most definitley forgive him, since he did tell me what he did.

As long as your sincere about the wrong you have committed and do not wish to see that person again, but would like to make things right; you should be forgiven of your mistake. No one is perfect, we all fail, and relationships take time and effort from both parties to make things right.

I hope the best for you; and hope your wife can forgive you of your actions.

Answer 9

By making yourself feel better in your confession - your scrambled your wife like an egg. You have to allow her to hurt now and come to grips with this. She might choose not to forgive you - that was the risk you took when you had the affair to begin with. Forgiveness takes time and if you care for her you'll stick by her while she works thru her pain.

Answer 10

I would have a really, really hard time forgiving him no matter how I found out. That would break the trust totally and I don't think you can have love without trust. He should have been committed to me enough that he would not have done it. If he did, then it would mean to me, that I was not good enough, so I would probably be done. I just don't I could ever get past it.

Answer 11

Oh man this is a toughie. It would depend on a few things, like who he cheated with, (cuz if it was a friend of mine or ANY b*tch that knew about me and did it anyway, I'd kill 'em both). He'd have a better chance at surviving if it was just a one time thing, but if he was SEEING someone on a regular basis, again they'd both have to die. Aw hell if he ever cheated on me I'd prolly kill him no matter what. (Or I'd gather up his belongings on my front lawn and have a bonfire, then I'd ruin him financially, which could also be a good time).