What am I to do about my daughter?!?

Question

She's at the age, the very difficult one! She'll be lucky if she lives to the next year! She has court tomorrow for skipping school and she continuously skips. I can go on and on the list is starting to get to be quite a long one. The fact is she doesn't really care! I've got all kinds of proffesional help, almost more than I can handle! I'm trying everything I can think of! It feels like I am powerless. She insists on behaving the way that she does. If she doesn't stop she's going to end up with a world of regrets by the time she's in her twenties! What can I do that I haven't already done?

I know all about being signed over to state, I guess you can say 'what comes around goes around'! It doen't really feel like it did too much for me though, that's just when things were getting started for me! I have numorous sit downs with her! I've beat her, she knows better than to get in my face, the problem is the judgement she has when she's out of this house! She's in therapy, but not gonna do much good if she doesn't want the help. We've got our foot in the door with court thanks to her and her skipping! They said next time she comes to court she's moving to the juvenile court because of her attitude. I've called around for those scared straight programs they don't have any around here. I really don't want to put a face to my problem, so the tv is kind of out. I just don't know.

Answer 1

Like alot of the others that have answered already, I too was a troubled teen. There comes a point where you can't get through to your child, no matter what you do. My mom did what no parent wants to do an that is "Tough Love". I believe someone else mentioned this but there is actually a group. They didn't have a website years ago but they do now. Check it out. It worked for my mom. It didn't help me (I had to do that myself) but it helped her to deal with me and to take care of her. Here's the link: http://www.4troubledteens.com/toughlove.html

Good Luck!

Answer 2

This may be one of the hardest things you will ever do but sign custody of her to someone else.To a foster home or orphanage or the state something, somewhere.
Show her what life is like in a foster home or orphanage or with someone else who ain't gonna deal with all the sh*t she doin.In a foster home with ten other kids where all the luxuries in life aren't handed to her and money isn't as plentiful.Where she will suffer the consequences and be treated just like everyone else.
She wouldn't last a day in my shoes.
Yea she may think it's wrong but it's not fair that you work and provide a living for her and give her everything she needs and then she disrespect you and break the rules like that.

Answer 3

Okay, first of all he last thing you want to be doing is trying to make her do something that she obviously wants to rebel against, trust me the more you make her the more she is going to resist. Instead call her bluff, see if she is really willing to screw up her entire life, praise her friends or family relations who are doing well in school for example. This will cause her to become jealous and want your praise, because after all lets face it no matter how much kids say they hate their parents deep down it's only because they aren't getting the love or praise they want.

If this doesn't work then sit her down and get in touch with what she is feeling, is she having problems coping with something in her life that is making her act this way? Does she want attention? Is she doing it just to do it? But make sure you stay calm and open minded.

Once you figure out what is causing her to do these things then a plan can be set to help get through these.

Answer 4

It sounds like you have tried everything. But, here are 2 things that I feel may open her eyes.

I would have a sit down conversation with her. Like you would with one of your good girlfriends. Don't judge just listen and give her your thoughts on things, not as her mother, but as a woman to woman. See if that, in any way gets you closer to understand her and her understanding you.

My second suggestion would be to take her to volunteer at a shelter for homeless children. Let her see what some children have to go through without anybody there for them. Maybe she can see how lucky she is to have a mother that cares so much about her.

Good look!

Answer 5

Well I've tried this with a very difficult teenager and it helped: describe her own acts to her as you see them dont get angry and pretend as if all her problems are happening without her being intentionally difficult. tell her that you need her help and ask herself for a solution. Tell her that you love her no matter what mistake s of judgement she may make in life, tell her that you're sure she can find a solution to the problem better than you because after all you're seeing the problems from outside and after all she is the one who has to make a choice for her life.Be frank and honest, don't exaggerate or understate the problem, don't get angry, just voice your concerns as a parent.

Answer 6

I Know when my 13 year old son continued skipping school the school sent the truancy papers to a judge and we ended up in court twice and then it was referred to a Juvenile Detention Center. If he would have continued the judge was going to send him to a boot camp.

Answer 7

I had a very similar problem when I was younger. It got so bad that I was admitted to an out-patient rehad facility where I continued to act out. Then, I was admitted to a long-term inpatient facility. That's what it really took to kick me in the head and to get me to stop what I was doing. That's the only advice and I have and even that only works some of the time.

Answer 8

Your daughter sounds like me. (once upon a time) My mother could not control me and the sad truth is that if she is as head strong as I was, then you will never have that control either. My mother did the hardest thing that she ever had to do. She signed custody of me over to the state. I resented her for it for years but as I grew I came to realize that she did it out of pure love. Had she never done it, I would have probably ended up dead or in prison. I am a better woman because of it and I now have four children of my own. Thank God for my Mother.
You have to make a decision to protect your daughter. Tough love is the answer. She may resent you but in time she will thank you. God bless you and good luck with your daughter.

Answer 9

Let her make mistakes or pack her things and send her to one of those boot camps for a month in like Arizona. You know the ones where they make the brats walk around in the desert all day and night with only 1 container of water. That'll teach her to straighten up her act.

Answer 10

I was the same way, my mom tells me she felt the same way. I was horrible. My mother just hung in there the best she could. She wasn't always right, but she loved me and never gave up. Today I am a happy mother of three and a very successful consultant. She will most likely turn around. Young girls are sooo hormonal and drama queens. Just let her know you love her and tough love her. Best wishes to you.