What do I do about a somewhat cheating husband?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 3 years and been with him for 4. Recently I discovered that he is a member of several different online dating cites. I thought at first that it was from before we were together but in the past month he has joined 2 more. He also told me that he had not been checking his email for the past 2 years but I found that to be a lie as well. When he joins these dating cites he says he's not married, prefer not to say, or married but looking. I just dont think that is appropriate for a married guy. I confronted him about one (only one) and he lied and said it wasn't him someone else did it! Whatever! So help me out here I dont know if I should just forget about it or let him be single if thats how he wants to act.

Answer 1

I've just been through a similar situation, leave leave leave. I found out that not only was my husband doing the on-line thing, that he cheated on me before we were even married. You have found out that he lied to you, then you can never believe him again. If you do stay it will be a long hard road to happiness let me tell you. Hes playing you for a fool if you believe his pathetic lies. My husband was chatting on-line and talking to one women on the phone (he fessed up that he's known her for 10 years for god sake, didn't think to share that little bit of information did he) in our home while I was there!!! Incredably my husband didn't even think this was an issue - its called having an emotional affair - its still an affair just not physical but its still a violation of your marriage vows and that shows he isn't committed to you what so ever

Answer 2

Well, the whole online dating thing is kind of an addiction for some people. It`s fun meeting new people and you can become whoever you want to be when talking to people and noone knows who you REALLY are, so it is a really fun thing to do for some people. They escape from reality and become someone they wish they were or whatever. It is really messed up and basically it IS cheating....especially since he is being dishonest with you and hiding it. It is a betrayal and such a HUGE deception. If it makes you feel any better, I bet he is totally dishonest with the other women he talks to as well. I think you should confront him with EVERYTHING you found out and then give him an ultimatum: either he puts an end to it comepletely or he loses you. Like I said, it is an addiction for some people and he may need some professiomal help to quit doing it, but you HAVE to make him stop!! What if there are other things he hid from you? What if he has actually met some of the women he met online.......or worse. What if he has an actual online relationship that he is hiding from you? Don`t "just forget about it" because he needs to know that you are aware of what he is doing. You have to be strong and stand firm. If he doesn`t stop all together you need to LEAVE. It could be that he just likes the whole exotic feeling it gives you to meet people online and he may never plan to meet anyone in person...but you never know. And the fact that he has been so dishonest and doing it for so long does not look very promising. I hope it is nothing and he is just one of those people who get a kick out of the attention and excitement from meeting online people. Even if that is the case, though he still needs to STOP. It is comepletely wrong!!! How would he feel if the positions were reversed? confront him!!!! I wish you the best of luck and hope your marriage can be saved!!

Answer 3

I am going through something similar to this. We've been together for 3 years, married for 2 months, but lived together for2 years. It isn't appropriate for a married man to be on those sorts of sights, especially lying to you about his usage, when you and I both know the history is right in front of our eyes! This is something you obviously aren't going to forget about. It's going to be on your mind every time you or he is on the computer. You husband does not seem to want to fess up to what he's done, he's not taking your vows seriously and is continuing to lie about his actions. I'd confront him again, tell him you KNOW that he's doing this and ask him if he's met with anyone from these sights. If you don't feel comfortable doing this alone, then seek the help of a therepist to guide you. If he won't go, at least you'll be helping yourself to deal with all these horrible thoughts. Good luck

Answer 4

#1 Answer! LET HIM BE SINGLE!

Talk to an attorney and see if you can prove in some way he is cheating on you and that way you can get a divorce more quickly. This man has been using you for sex, and does not know what love is and you have been holding on to someone who is immoral, and selfish. I bet you do all the work in the relationship and you are constantly begging for attention. I was with a woman like this and you will never be able to trust this person....ever!

Answer 5

Hi

I would say sit down and have a one on one chat with your husband and keep it real. Let him know what you really know don't leave anything out and just simply ask him why does he feel like he has to lie to you number 1. Then ask him why in the hell is he doing this to you number 2. After that just flat out ask him does he want out of the relationship because you can do better.(naturally) If and only if he is willing to give up that B.S. then will you think about not dumping his a**.

Answer 6

Your handle is "Hot Mom" why? Because it makes you feel sexy.

Everyone wants to feel desired and sexy and sometimes in a relationship we take our partner for granted. Maybe this is just a way for him to boost his own ego. He may now you love him, but he also may not FEEL you DESIRE him.

I'm married and have an old yahoo personal account. I log on and do searches for horrible matches like people that are divorced multiply times, too old ... I always wonder did these people learn anything from previous relationships or are they caught up in the dream that "marriage with fix everything". I really like the ones that have nothing to offer, but still want Mr. Rich & Perfect.

Answer 7

BINGO!!! Let him be single!! There is a very good chance he has or currently is cheating on you! If not, the potential is definetely there and he will in the very near future!

You will live your life with him wondering, checking and worrying! Is that how you want to live? If so, than stay with him and deal with it. BUT, don't expect him to be honest with you, because he won't be! He wants the best of both worlds, and right now he has it!! However, you have the control, what are you going to do with it???

Answer 8

you have a huge reason to be upset so don't minimize the situation & if you stay w/ him like this it will just deteriorate your self- respect. Drop his @ss & find a man who will treat you w/ the love & respect you deserve-. If you feel like saving your marriage is worth it, then tell your husband what your plans are if he doesn't clean up his act- but, if he defends his behavior, or, if you catch him in the act again, go through w/ a plan to leave him.
Chances are, though, that if he would already disrespect you this way, he won't change his ways, or, he'll tell you what you want to hear & then go right back to it- sorry, it has happened to all of us- best of luck to you-

Answer 9

You need to sit down and tell him that you know he is lying to you about the dating sites and that if he want the marriage to work, he must drop them all AND GO WITH YOU TO SEE A MARRIAGE COUNCILOR. This is not a normal way for a married man to be. He needs to discuss what it is that is really making him seek out other women. If he won't do this for you, then i would say your marriage is over as this usually leads to more.

Answer 10

If you two have no children together, I suggest you leave him without delay. why would you want to stay with a creepy guy like this? How can you ever trust him? Wouldn't you rather have a man you can trust and who is devoted to you and who has some decent moral values?

If you have children, you may need to move more slowly to ensure that you get child support. Consult a family lawyer now, and find out what you need to do before you leave him to protect your child's future.