i have situation going on and i don't know what to do...I have a child by man that i was with for 5yrs. Through the five yrs threre was ups and downs more downs. but no matter what i kept on hanging in there. it hot to the point that my feelings died and i knew that i had to move on. although i will always have feelings for him as my sons father, i do not love him the way you would if in a relationship.anyway, i dropped the relationship and reconnected witha man that i used to be with when i was 17yrs old i'm 32 now and we deciced to move forward in trying to build a relationship.of, course my son's fathr is upset because he wanted to give our relationship another try. i explained to him that my felings are not their anymore but he insists on not giving up...i want to be with my new friend but i really don't know if he is going to be serious or not, someone please help me
2006-11-08 03:57:32 · 18 answers · asked by michelle e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
how can you say that you don't know if the old friend is serious or not and you just said that you and him reconnected and was moving forward and trying to build a relationship, you say that but you don't know if he is serious? i think you and your sons father needs to get over everything and give yourself and son a chance to get use to just the two of you, before you throw a man whom you are not even sure of in your sons face . right know the only person you should be focused on is your son. even though you and the father don't get along I'm sure he loves and your son loves his father . stop thinking about yourself and step up and be a mom to your son. take a break and make sure your son is in a good place and worry about the emotional stress of you and his fathers break up hello he's a person to .
2006-11-08 04:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no love triangle; you've told this man that you don't have feelings for him anymore. He can't have a relationship with you if you're not in it. His responsibility is to be a good father to your son.
If you reconnected with the idea of trying to build a relationship, what is it about him that makes you think he's not serious? Does it have to be all or nothing right now? Date him and see how things go first. If you are comfortable with him, things will develop over time.
You have no control over how unhappy your ex is; he can't insist that you be in a relationship with him. Your responsibility is to the happiness and security of you and your son. Everything and everyone comes second to that.
2006-11-08 04:03:52 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, do we know each other or what? it really sounds like my very situation, just i'm the one who is the party who wants to rekindle the marrage, and my marrage has been 12 years with plenty of ups and downs. my advice is elevate your feelings 4 him and how he enteracts with your son. how does the other fellow enteracts with the child. i think that it is important for you to conciter the child but i strongly belive your happyness is #1, if your happy and healthy the child has a much better chance. as from my side of the fence, is the father capable of being responcable and being good to you, the child, and providing a safe and stable enviorment? if yes than i belive you should put fourth the effort and be understanding and supporting in resolving the matter!
2006-11-08 04:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by philmycrack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide the two questions separately, are you through with the current relationship, regardless of whether the new one works out or not. Then if you are through, do you want to try something with the new guy?
Never break off a relationship thinking the grass will be greener on the other side of the fence. It almost never is.
2006-11-08 04:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by Julie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether the new man is serious or not isn't the issue. You can't go back to the father of your son if you don't have those feelings for him. Life is too short to waste trying to make yourself feel something you just don't feel. Do what makes YOU happy. It's your life enjoy it!
2006-11-08 04:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is what you should do. Take a step back from the situation and look at it as an outsider. Evaluate why you want to be with this new man and evaluate why you do not want to be with your child's father. When you find the answers within yourself, you will know what to do...
2006-11-08 04:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick with your new friend! You gave your babys father the chance he deserved, and it just didn't work. Don't dwell on the past but continue to give him the respect that he deserves as a parent to your child. Move forward to a happier healthier relationship just as you've explained you've done. It's all worth it in the end - not just to you, but to your child as well!
2006-11-08 04:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by loving father 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your new friend and find out what his true feelings and intentions are. If you are included in them, well, then great!!
If you do not love your ex then just move on, honey with the present situation. This is the best advice I can give you.
Good Luck with both of the guys.
2006-11-08 04:02:49 · answer #8 · answered by PsychoSam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mama/Daddy drama for the rest of your life ! However, it does not have to control your life. Be honest with your ex and mean what you say.
You said there was a "Love" triangle going on. I didn't see any love in your story. Misunderstanding, mama/daddy drama, new boyfriend, etc, but no love.
Hang in there, you have a right to be with whom you want and your ex will have to understand that. Never hang on/in a relationship for the children.
2006-11-08 04:06:26 · answer #9 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well as for the father of your son i say dont go back if you couldnt work it out in 5 yr then there is no fix. as for the new "friend" take a chance there is no better way to find out how a person is if you dont try him out but be careful think of your son and if he wants this radical change in his life.
2006-11-08 04:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by cosita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋