My wife wants me to go down on her.....?

Question

....Stannah Stair lift, what should I do?

We live in a tree house, rather predictably in Brazil, (which will give me another angle to work on in a minute, so bare with me) and my wife wants me to go down town more often.

I have an issue with this as the local area has overgrown with bush, being in the rain forest, and I don't enjoy organic dental floss.

How can I get her to go permanently Brazillian, clear the bush, so I can go down town whenever either of us wants anything from the shops or local bar, like a Screaming Orgasm etc. etc.

I also need advice on cleaning Hot Fish Yoghurt from the foliage as a Danone delivery aircraft spilled it's load here recently?

Can you help?

Answer 1

Well I can see your predicament, there is nothing worse then organic dental floss I agree!

All I can suggest is that you kindly tell your wife to maintain the forest and in return you will go down town every hour on the hour for what ever she desires.
Such as chocolate mousse, Whipped cream, Ice cream etc...

If that doesn't work then she'll simply have to go down town herself.

As for the Hot Fish Yoghurt (you sick little puppy!) Just venture out into the Rain forest and have a little splash around in the great outdoors!

Hope I helped!

Answer 2

firstly, I am impressed with the Stannah lift in the tree house, as our tree house has no power, so you must live on the posh edge of the forest.
I personally enjoy the fight through the bush to get town as I find the trip more worthwhile.
If the foliage is a problem for you, consider some sort of permanent vegitation retardent as a gift for you wife and if she finds visits down town pleasurable for herself it can only more beneficial to ensure the route is maintained for quicker access

With regard to the fish youghurt, this can be cleared either with an organic fluid or alternatively , your wife may wish to know that dogs enjoy this and are very efficient at cleansing. The added benefit is that this cleansing operation can be utilised whilst you are away or send the dog down town, whilst you pop into the queens head for a creamy one

Answer 3

If your wife is going down town for you, then she may discover the benefits of your own hedgerow being well kept and and sufficiantly trimmed back. Also, why not go the whole hog and do the weeding round the back garden, concentrating on the area round by the sewer pipe. Its the small details that count.
If she finds the cosmetic benefits pleasing, she will hopefully follow suit.
Regarding the hot fish yoghurt spillage- just suck any spillages up- Its full of good bacteria.

Answer 4

Use some anti-folliage stuff whilst she sleeps - veet. I use it on my allotment to stop my bean pole getting tangled and down the old pits I own to stop the folliage retaining too much moisture, leading to unpleasent smells. I also use it on the big container I own - my chest - too make it more aesthetically pleasing.

For clearing Hot Fish Yoghurt, I have a problem with this - I find removing the folliage helps you mop it up - alternatively a mild detergent will normally remove it.

Answer 5

If i were you i would say you would love to go down town all the time but you find it uncomfortable being lost in a forest. She should then realise that you will go down town if she helps you chop all the trees so you can see where your going...

To clean hot fish yoghurt go in the rain or sea together....wink wink

Answer 6

You can hire me. I'm an expert bush and tunnel explorer. I'm also great at cleaning the yoghurt up. I'll give the forest a trim for you too.

Answer 7

It is painful... perhaps suggest a bi-weekly mowing/lawn maintenance sort of thing with a regular push mower for starters. Mow in the same direction the tall grass grows, especially at first. That will help to prep the land for more drastic measures such as permanent deforestation, ie: complete uprooting of foliage. Communication with the gardener is of utmost importance. If the landowner is reluctant to change the landscape, perhaps you could take over the gardener's duties once or twice. That can be fun.

Answer 8

if you can persued her to go for the full brazalian. that will get rid of the hot fish yoghurt aswell.
it depends on you mate, the rest of the cast has no idea what you're talking about.
my hubby is happy to do my brazialian for me, maybe you should offer it to her and you'll get rid of the bush quickly.
enjoy!

Answer 9

Like it! It must have taken a while to write that. Go for it, munch munch!

Aerorate and leave to stand for a while. Otherwise the rainforest will smell like a scampi's minge.

Answer 10

Do a bit of gardening, get the hosepipe out clear the access path and then ask her to go down town with you...Providing you don't need a gardener as well...