Is it possible to love two men?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 5 years, but I am still in love with my ex. (whom I have my first child with). My ex and I broke up because I cheated on him with my husband, but I never really stopped loving my ex . He just didn't want to be with me since I had cheated and had a child by my husband, but once he had gotten over the fact that I cheated he now wants to marry me and gain his family back. Now i'm married and sooooo confused. I NEED HELP!

Answer 1

You could be making a very big mistake and so I would really think through this.

You will risk losing something either way so unless you are unhappy with your marriage now, I wouldn't even consider the prospect of losing your husband for someone who may very well turn out to dump you after he has won you back. His motives may not be what you think they are and if anything were to go wrong, your husbnad may very well not take you back.

I think it has more to do with the fact that you don't like yourself all that much and trying to gain acceptance from everyone involved to validate your self-worth from them. This is only natural if you have been rejected in your life in the past, but I think working and concentrating on yourself, is the best thing you can do right now and taking some time away from the situation itself.

Let your husband know that you need some space of your own to do some thinking if he is aware that this is going on, but just find some spare moments for yourself and think really hard about why you are wanting to make this kind of choice. If what your husband offers you isn't enough or stimulating to the relationship then perhaps you need to look at what your needs are in more detail?

None of us can have all of our needs met by one person even when married and it is important for you to have some of your own independance from your husband from time to time and to build up your confidence and self-esteem where it lacks in places. Women have the habit of putting all of their needs onto their husbands and lovers without realizing and so perhaps this ex of yours is enticing you to go back because you want more out of your life than you do already?

Take a course, driving lessons, build up something of your own that is yours so that you at least have some interests outside of the marriage that will stimulate you and won't allow you to start looking for your needs to be met through the choice of two men. I think that the underlying problem is this and not about the fact that want to go back to your ex husband.

What would have to change in your life now that would not make you want to be in this position?. This question will help you out and give you some clues as to why you are wanting the attention from both men. Fulfilled people wouldn't be wanting both men and so I am pretty sure that it is because something is lacking in your life now.

Only you can offer yourself what you want and so by looking towards this ex to fulfill your needs and expectations, means that your needs are not being met in the marriage you are in now in the ways you would like them to be as you would not be considering anything like this. Take time out and think about this more in depth and if you are not happy with your life, then some changes do need to be made, but ask yourself what these changes need to be before running off into the unknown with your ex.

Answer 2

I don't think my opinion will mean much but I think Man #1 is the guy you should be with. You start Man #2s description with 'very successful, handsome' then 'sweet man'. I don't know if you did that on purpose. But if that was just what came out of your head you can sort of see why I feel Man #2 isn't right for you. If you know what I'm sayn. I think Man #1 makes you happy and even though you don't know if you would move, if you guys officially got together and got things moving you would see a clearer path

Answer 3

your husband DESERVES someone who's gonna love him and only him... its not fair to him to have a wife who's in love with someone else. So quit thinkin of yourself. Your husband deserves to be happy.. even if it means it aint with you. And if he's having a hard time seeing it now.. he'll see it eventually. Besides.... who wants to be with someone who is in love with someone else..? Oh yea.. and u deserve to be happy too... and if u think going back to ur ex is the best thing.. than do it.
and hey.. its most likly ur ex aint the person he was when you were last with him.. ppl do change. You cant expect to pick up fr where u left off and expect everything to be great.

Answer 4

you have to face the fact that you are not doing yourself good, because you can not claim to love 2 men at same time though you might love them like that for one reason or the other.

but to be honest with you, you dont love this guy, if to say you really do you would have wait for him for few years before you remarry.

now that you have remarry, how would you think the other guy will feel?

think first before you act

the ball is in your court

Answer 5

nothing to be confused. know who you are now. you are a wife with a husband. thats it. its a choice. its not an emotion. choose to be in the holy matrimony where you pledge before God. let go of the past, your ex.

Answer 6

This is quite the mess you got yourself in. I'm just glad your husband is not taking you back.

Answer 7

Yes ,it's posible, however unless you are living with both of them at the same time, your in a mess!

Answer 8

sucks huh! well, sounds like you got what you deserved, now make the life you created (son) as happy as possible, remember, your not living for yourself now, but for your childs well being!