last night i seen my girfriend kissng someone else, i went to get her from a club ad she was there i walked past her and said alright and walked away, i said it was ok because she was drunk but i really said that cos i genuinely love her. im not some soppy little boy but i feel like im being taken for a ride. she swears that it hasn't happened b4 and it never will again. what should i do my head is so pickled right now, should i forgive this and worry about it happening again or stay with her in the hope that she really is the person i will spend forever with.
2006-11-08 02:56:14 · 17 answers · asked by ziggy l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
fair play to you for being big enough to not make a scene and go nuts. Maybe you should suggest some time apart to her so you can come to terms with this, then you can guage how hard she works to keep you. If she agrees, and makes no effort and carries getting off with blokes then you need to get rid!
2006-11-08 03:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really would have been better if she had told you what had happened, and for you not to have physically seen it…
A small indiscretion would have been excusable; if she had told you she had kissed someone, you would have been upset, but no mental image to go on. Instead, you had to see the action with your own two eyes, and that image will linger for the duration of your relationship.
It's also important to note that if this happened in such a public place, with no regards for her actions being perceived, the image of others will be she is dating the person she was with @ the club, and not with you. She is sending you a signal that she wants someone else in public, and maybe you in private. All of this you had to witness yourself, and not have the info second or third-hand.
I would leave her, and explain why. Don't tell her it's because she kissed another guy, but the fact she did it in public. Your reputation will never recover, her friends will always look at you in distain (girls ALWAYS get away with infidelity, remember this small fact), and your friends will regard you as a chump for taking her back. Cut your ties, now, and move on with your life.
Wish you luck!
2006-11-08 11:05:20 · answer #2 · answered by diagofaldi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like other people have already said, being drunk brings out your true feelings, it doesn't create new ones. Obviously we don't know your history and how long you've been together, but from now onwards, for a very long time, you will question your trust in her. It sounds harsh but it's quite possible that when she says it won't happen again she means you won't know of it happening again - she may go to much greater lengths to cover up something like that.
Also, did she know you were coming to pick her up? If she did, maybe ask her why she was kissing this other guy when she knew you'd be there? Did she WANT to get caught? If so, it could be that she's looking for attention from you.
2006-11-09 10:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by mishmash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite popular opinion, being drunk does not make you act out of character. It just brings your true character out.
If you can't handle further indiscretions of this nature, you'd better walk now and don't turn back. She'll hurt you again.
However, if the guy she was kissing was Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom or someone so handsome that it makes you wonder if they are really human, she can't be blamed for this one impulse. Forgive her and think what you would have done if Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson or Alba wanted to give you a no-strings-attached kiss ... As long as these people don't live in your neighbourhood, it was a one-off thing! And you don't need to worry about it anymore.
If it was just some lad down the road, leave her.
2006-11-08 11:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by kiteeze 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With this sort of thing, if it happens once, it will happen again. But If you are going to stick with her it's time for a reality check. Sit her down and tell her how mad you are and that if you even get a hint of anything like this has ever happened again, she will be down the road in a heart beat. Let her know exactly where she stands and where you stand but don't sit on the fence and say oh it's ok. She can make her own decisions from there on in.
2006-11-08 11:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by BigMan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never forgive this no matter what the excuse as it will happen again and she will always have an excuse for it. What type of girl is she that she can't handle a drink or stop herself before she takes it too far? Find a nice girl who will respect you the same way you respect her, it's what everyone deserves.
2006-11-08 11:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends on how you can deal with the situation. it may feel raw now but try to imagine how you will feel 2 months down the line - will you be wondering what she is doing everytime your not with her? in which case, even though you love her it will tear yur relationship apart or will you be able to swallow it now and not bring it up or think about it every time you have a disagreement? Only you can decide, but think ahead
2006-11-08 11:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by alex_rccrd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long you two been together?Well if its happened to me my decision would be break her off..(im a girl)in the first place how would you know that its the first time happened?Gave her a lesson,be a man..and when she came back to you and promise wont do it again and u see some sincerity gave ur trust back told her that if it will happen again you tell here I have no plan keeping a ***** with me forever.
2006-11-08 11:07:06 · answer #8 · answered by 3sh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her one more chance. Perhaps this will make her realise what she has with you and how special it is. Don't forgive her if it happens again though because that will just set a precedent for the future relationship.
2006-11-08 11:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by doodlenatty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would end the relationship right now, she will only hurt u again. for a relationship to work, there has to be trust on both sides, u cannot trust her after this.
move on and find someone better, who is loyal and deserves your love.
2006-11-08 11:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by crophilia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋