How can I give my teenager daughter more space without feeling panic ( sending her to movies, parties, etc.)?

Question

my daughter is only 14 years old and men as old as her father is looking at her sexually. She is a very beautiful girl and I am scared for her.

Answer 1

LoL I am 14 and my mother baby I'm her last born I am very close with her so I get how she worrys about me actualy I can more like feel it LoL like when she crys I cry it's weird I know but I'm that close when I was a baby if she moved a finger I'd wake up LoL close huh? so what she does is I have to go with a friend I have a cell phone if we are watching a movie before it starts and right after I have to call her let her know I am ok shopping every hour I have to call her and at parties idk about that one I don't go to them LoL expect my friends but thats normal just b-day partys and a sleep over so she's fine. and if your so worried about her you could always teach her how to defend herself or have your husband teach her

Answer 2

How does she react to these looks from these men? Does she acknowledge them as being disgusting or does she respond in a like sexual mode?
Has she given you any reason to believe that she might be sexually active or that she might be considering it? How about the friends that she hangs around with? Are they sexually active? Is your daughter easily intimidated by other kids?
If she is a good girl and has never been a problem, then I would say you need to trust her until she gives you reason not to and then you can deal with that then. But right now, if she needs more space, then you need to trust her and let her know that you are trusting her and hope that all the lessons you have taught her while growing up will stick with her as she is faced with peer pressure. Praise her when she comes back from an outing if she has gone good and let her know that this is the kind of behavior that will get her more privileges as long as she does not abuse them.

Answer 3

Don't let her go out with those men! They DO NOT have her best interest at heart! If she wants to go out w/ her friends you can meet the parents of the kids that she's going out with. If the parents seem crazy and/or irresponsible...well that apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I guess you can tell her that men that are that much older than her and are looking at her sexually only want sex from her and she should ignore them. I have a 14 year old sister and if any man who was my dad's age or even my age (I’m 18) even though about talkin' to her I'd step in an be like, "Ay yo! Back off!"

Hope this helps!

P.S: One thing I learned in school...never let someone that U don't know (especially in a public place) use UR cell cause they could be acting like they are calling a friend and could really be calling THEIR cell and getting her number.

Answer 4

I know what you mean, I have a 14-year old too. She has a cell phone and takes it with her everywhere, so I can call her or she can call me. Also, I don't let her go alone, she's with a friend or two to run to the store, get pizza, go to the movies and she only goes to parties where the parents are home and I know it. This summer was the hardest since I had to work and she didn't want to be cooped in the house all day, everyday. Of course, her sleeping 'til noon solved part of that dilema. She had to call me before she left to meet her friends and I'd call her to make sure she got where I expected her to be. If she wanted to change plans, she'd call to see if I was OK with that and we'd discuss the arrangements. The hardest thing was getting her to understand why I wouldn't allow her to walk along one particular road even in the daytime - an underpass with major amounts of high weeds on both sides.

You have to trust your daughter to do what is right, have a means for communication, and trust in God.

Answer 5

Being the mother of a 13 yr old daughter, there is no way (in my opinion) that you can give your child space without feeling panic. Some steps I took to help put my mind at ease was, I got her a prepaid cell. I don't ever let her go to the movies without a friend. Haven't allowed her to go to parties yet, the non-birthday ones . Talking with her helps too. Tell her your concerns and fears. Maybe she can tell you things to make you feel like she's mature enough to handle going to the movies without mom.

Answer 6

As the mother of 3 very beautiful and very shapely daughters, I feel your pain. My daughters are 16, 14, and 12 and I still don't allow them to walk to the store alone. However, I have started to allow them to go to the mall, movies\vies, etc. I started out by dropping them off and picking them up. We live In Philadelphia, Pa and we have public transportation but I was afraid to allow them to ride it alone. I soon realized that there is safety in numbers and as long as there were at least 3 or 4 of them, I allowed them to catch the bus to the mall and the movies as long as they are home by dark and if they want to stay later they must call my husband or myself, so that one of us can pick them up. They have cellphones and I am always able to reach them. They have been doing these for about a year and a half and I have never had a problem.
As long as your daughter has never done anything to cause you not to trust her, set some ground rules like being home before dark and only going in groups and she should be fine. I know it's hard but believe me it will get easier.

Answer 7

Men are pigs aren't they. Does she have a cell phone where you can call her and make sure she's alright? Remember when she's in a public place there are tons of others around and if anything should happen to her you'll know about it asap. Predators don't usually strike in public places because of this. Also, when I was 14 I didn't go to places like that unless my mom dropped me off or picked me up so she always knew where I was at. Letting your daughter go with say a 16 year old and running amuck would be asking for problems, it's too easy to lie about where you've been.

Answer 8

I do not blame you for being afraid, it is so dangerous these days. I have a daughter but she is 4 yrs. old and I know that when she is going to be in her teens years it will be very difficult for me too let her hang out.

These old men should be a shame of themselves, it is so sad. I do not let no one watch my daughter because I do not trust no man at all.

The best thing that you can do for your daughter is go with her too the movies. Do not let her go alone because you do not want to risks something horrible happening to your daughter. Good Luck to you...

Answer 9

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Answer 10

there is no way that you cannot feel panic when you let her go out to a movie or to a friends for the night. you can tell her that she is able to do those things that she wants to do but she needs to know that there are men out there that may look at her the wrong way or try to make a move on her. explain to her what to do in a situation like that. She will probably listen to you if you just stay calm and not freak out.

Answer 11

Give her some freedom, while not being to loose or overly protective. For example, let her go out, as long as she is with atleast one friend; but never alone. She must always carry a cell phone, and give you the number of the house she is at if she is at someone's house. She has to tell you what time she is leaving, comming back(before dark), where she'll be, who she'll be with, and about how long she will stay at each place. Tell her to call you every hour so you will know everything's ok, and remember: No going out at night, or going out alone, or even alone with a guy until she is older!