Don't want to cheat, so why do I feel like I do.?

Question

This may be more of a psych question but I know the consequences of cheating from both sides and don't care to ever know how it feels again, but why then do I feel compelled to find a lil more spice than what I've got now?

Answer 1

maybe you are just curious what's in cheating that makes cheaters cheat, but truthfully, it's simply because they're cheaters and can't live without cheating.

Answer 2

This is one I can tell the truth on, I have been is this spot and a lot of other people have too. The reason you do it is because of the thrill and to think you are smarter then her and everyone knows this NEW sex is the best but what happens when is isn't NEW anymore and it gets old and you start to think about your wife and your family and you miss them and you really do not like her as much as you thought then you want to go back well guess what she found out now you can go back and she doesn't want you what are you going to do. IF you feel like Crap then you have something really good stop what you are dong and get into some counseling and you can do it by self and then bring her in a later date. What would you do if she was to do the same thing to you if this hurts you then re think what you are doing, I do know where the problems is. You are a flirt and you like the way other women look at you and sometime you really do not want to do it but you have taken it to far so you do not have the balls to call it off. Get help or stop hurting her and get out.

Answer 3

I believe you can be in a "committed" relationship and still find other people "attractive". I think that's perfectly "normal", you aren't dead!

However, if you are seriously considering doing more than "looking", obviously something is wrong. Either there is something "lacking" in your current relationship, or for whatever reason, you are unable to be monogamous.

Just because you haven't cheated "yet", doesn't mean you "won't", especially if you are always looking to "spice up what you have". Maybe you like "living on the edge" or like the rush you get from "taking risks".

You aren't "satisfied" with your current relationship. You need to try to figure out what you are looking for. It isn't fair to you or your partner to stay in a relationship pretending to be "happy" when you are always "looking". I don't think either of you can be happy that way.

Only you know what you're looking for and you are the only one who is going to be able to make that decision.

I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Maybe you've just gotten used to having the same thing over and over and would enjoy a little more imagination. My suggestion would be to spice up your current relationship by adding a blindfold, toys, lotions, romance, porn, etc. during bedroom activities. Relationships take work and commitment. If you have already committed to this relationship, try to work on it. Share your fantasies with each other and try them out. Be bold and do things like you fantasize on your wildest days.
If, however, you do feel like you MUST have someone else, do her and yourself a favor and break off the relationship. You know how it feels coming from both sides and it does not feel good to either party. Good luck and I hope that you find what you are looking for.

Answer 5

I would have to wonder why you wouldn't just break it off. If she's not worth being faithful to then maybe she's not worth having. I wonder if there is a more specific reason that she lacks in the bedroom. It kinda sounds like you want to cheat on her to get her back. Wanna know the irony in that? You're the one that will get hurt the worst by cheating. I can't really explain why but I can tell you from experience, being th cheater is a hurt that doesn't go away for a long time. Do yourself and break it off or make a true commitment.

;)

Answer 6

3 words,,in a rut.you know pizza comes with different toppings but you still wouldnt want to eat it everyday,would you? spice it up,,,,,,,,,if you feel like this the chances are your wife? feels the same so,,start small,,give her the heads up by buying her some new underwear,,she cant miss the message and you dont have to be embarrassed by bringing the subject up,,which as we all know is worse than it sounds,,buy a book,,try something new,,,if you see something 'sexy' on tv,,give her a nudge and a wink and say something along the lines of,,"what are you thinking?" make it obvious in a tactful and fun way and she cant miss what you are talking about.

Answer 7

I think that it's human nature to an extent. Rather than cheating tho, why don't you try and spice things up with your partner. Maybe try some role plays or dress up, join a swinging club online, watch porn together or go to a sex club together. I appreciate that for all of this your partner has to be willing, but try talking to them and maybe you'll be surprised. They might enjoy spicing things up too!!! :)

Answer 8

When I was complaining to my hubby about not getting it as often as when we first started to date and how I wish he would care a little more. He pulled up this web site that said that when you are married for a while a guy looses his excitement for that woman (some). That is why I think so many people go out and cheat. They love that new love...that hot fresh where you can't get enough of each other love. Instead of the love where you are talking about the kids and the bills love and are comfortable with each other.

Answer 9

Because you're under appreciated, not feeling like you're getting 50/50 out of the relationship and you don't hold the strings to 'open the box' when you want.

The sex lives of married couples... This is what makes millions for comedians!

Men having to hunker down and hear that dreaded word "No" all over again. We heard it countless times as two and three year olds and now it's coming back to haunt us.

It echo's over and over again and causes some really deep frustrations (and deep-rooted resentment) and quite frankly we've already heard it enough!

This causes men to realize how 'once upon a time ago' anything they did sexually was appreciated, craved and longed for by women in their younger years.

Older women like pastels, color combinations, fragrant odors and complimentary clothing combinations that flatter them because they forgot how great it was to work their a$$es off trying to land you.

Most, once they 'land you' resort to pleasing themselves with the fineries in life while trying to change you, and in the end once they change you they don't have to work hard to keep you. (So they believe.)

It's an illness they learned and for some odd, baffling reason they forgot one simple rule in life: In order for someone to be happy they need to make someone else happy. The results will return ten-fold!

It works equally for both men and women but somehow they just lose sight of it with the person they love the most.

Answer 10

Unfortunately it's part of the human condition. We are tempted by many things. You need not be religious to grasp this. You may want to identify why yoy feel this way and talk to your partner about how he/she may add that spice you need.

Answer 11

because there's a part of you that thinks that you can get away with it................the only guys that I know that dont cheat: HAVE NEVER CHEATED.... and a few of them honestly dont think they could (in fear of the consequences) the others don't cheatbecause they trully are in love with each other........ US guys that DO (or have) cheated for some reason just think that we can............ Unlike some people that think if you cheat you dont love your mate: It has nothing to do with that- We DO, we just want some other "meaningless sex"...and would like to get it every once in awhile WITHOUT hurting our mates.