i need some help. My husband works very hard for me and our son. our son just turned 1 last week and i am currently 34 weeks pregnant with our other son. i try my hardest not to have to ask my husband to do things when he gets home from work. i know that he is tired and just wants to Veg out until bedtime. but sometimes i need help. this past week, i was put on bedrest b/c i went into premature labor..they said that i was over-doing it. friday my husband came home with the news that he had lost his job. GREAT!! right? what else can go wrong? nothing? so i am now having to rely on him to help me with our son. he is great with getting him up and feeding him and such..but i am trying to get the rest of the house prepared for the arrival of our next son. we just moved into this house a couple of months ago, so we still have a lot of boxes sitting around. the room for our sons is a disaster zone. the kitchen is a mess. i just need him to help me more. how could i encourage him to help more?
2006-11-08 00:33:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This worked for me: Ask him to do something, and give him some praise after he does it, such as, "Thanks for feeding the cats this morning. It was a big help." This will encourage him to do it again.That is a good technique for the little things, but it sounds like you need to sit down with him and have a discussion. Make a list of things you need help with around the house and explain to him that you really need his help with this. Some guys just need a wake up call.
2006-11-08 00:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mom of Marley 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is there a family member or a friend that could come and help out with the unpacking and straightening up? Is hubby looking for a new job? While he is home, yes, he should help out with getting the rest of the unpacking done and straightening up the boys rooms until he goes back to work. Then, you should agree on certain things that he can do after he comes home from work each night...such as taking the trash out....bathing the child while you fix dinner.......getting the child ready for bed while you do dishes after dinner. This wouldn't take that long to do, but would be a big help to you. Remind him that you did not make this second child by yourself and since you have already had an incident which could have caused a miscarriage, he is going to have to help out or the next time it could result in losing the child. How would he feel then?
2006-11-08 01:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are like children - BRIBERY usually works. I am sorry to hear that your husband has lost his job, try to chill out a little and not worry too much about the unpacked boxes etc, everything will sort itself out in time. Take it easy and just look forward to the birth of your baby. Your husband is probably feeling a little depressed at the moment after losing his job, try to be patient with him. Just ask him kindly to help you, but don't nag him - that never works, he needs to think of you as his friend and lover and not his dictator. Best wishes.
2006-11-08 01:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well he's an obvious slacker considering he did just lose his job he probably wasn't pulling his weight there either. However now that he is able to be home and you are ordered to be on bed rest he should help out around the house and look for a new job. If he isn't willing to do it call a maid service or unpacking service to do it for you. Take charge woman!
2006-11-08 01:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Encourage??? I don't think that's the right word. You need to really communicate how you are feeling and what you are THINKING. He can't mind read. Sit down when all is quiet and tell him you want to discuss the management of the house and how the jobs can be shared. Does he realise you are feeling this way?
Sort out a rota between you and communicate when you want him to do more. Please don't use the term 'helping you' because it's not helping it's him doing his share.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-08 00:51:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not do this alone. Tell him you want him involved in getting ready for your newest arrival. A marriage is 50/50. They say a woman does the work of 3 jobs in one day (especially with children) if you were to be paid for the work you do you would get 3 times as much. He has helped make this family and he can chip in more to take care of this family including housework (now that he is not working). Does he realize it is very hard on you to do this by yourself especially when you are on bed rest. Tell him in order for you not to have anymore compilations with your pregnancy he needs to help out. Good Luck.
2006-11-08 00:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by melbow35 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well as you said hes tired too ,my husband occasionally helps me around the house but I have a maid coming every day from 8 am to 7 pm ,so think about a maid to hire to help you out of ur houseworks.let the guy feel free and comfortable at home or he will try to stay away from the house!
2006-11-08 00:41:19 · answer #7 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
dang he does more than my husband.... but still, it's not enough.
talk to him.
maybe don't put out until he starts helping out. (ok, silly statement seeing that you are on bedrest and can't have sex for three weeks after having the baby....)
2006-11-08 00:47:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shold talk to him about it. Unless you express he may not know how much to help. Some people need to be told. He is having a job break exactly when you need him by you.
2006-11-08 00:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by rams 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell him that helping out will help ease the funk he is in about losing his job. Tell hil to stop feeling sorry for himself and that you NEED HELP NOW! (Yell if you have to). Activity will help him and help get the house ready.
2006-11-08 00:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋