Why would a man who says that he was broken hearted when his marriage ended after 10 years and two kids later. Turn around now that he is divorced and have his own affair with a married woman with children of her own? He said he would never do it but is now in fact having an affair of his own?
2006-11-07 23:59:28 · 16 answers · asked by Jane Smith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's easier to deliver the milk then to support her.
2006-11-08 00:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be unresolved issues, it may be his subconscious way of resolving why his wife had one by putting himself in that position.
It may however, be life's way of teaching us not to judge. Perhaps he really took a hard line approach at her affair and refused to acknowledge any personal blame for the marriage falling apart, and now life is teaching him never say "Of this tree I shall never eat."
Vows are vows and that's not under debate, but when someone breaks them, however hurt we are as a couple, we have to acknowledge that it didn't happen just because the wife is a slut and got curious.Come on now...
Affairs happen because people either fail to or refuse to see that they are not meeting certain needs of their spouse. When we overlook the lesson, life has a way of making us relive the experience from the position of the person we judged. That type of switcheroonie thing has happened to me on many different levels for different reasons every time I have judged someone for doing or being a certain way. I finally stopped doing it, or try to at least.
THere is of course another explanation; He may have finally realised what it is that he wants, and may well and truly have found his soul mate - and that kind of connection unfortunately won't often be bothered by those important vows. I'm not saying it's right, just saying it happens, and it may be another explanation. Talk to him, remind him gently of what he said and ask him why he is doing this. The only answer you cannot offer rebuttal to is ; "I love her. Simply put." Otherwise, you can steer him straight if you care enough.
2006-11-08 08:09:46 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can't be coincidence that he lost HIS married woman and his two children and is now pursuing a married woman with two children. Sounds like he's trying to instantly replace the family he lost. He needs counseling to deal with the issues of his first marriage and not try to ruin another guy's marriage by having an affair with the guy's wife.
2006-11-08 08:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by Debra D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wasn't "attached" when he had a relationship with someone "attached."
Of all the women out there who often times view this situation as I've just stated, I can't believe not one came forward and explained it the same way!
If you put a woman in his shoes and she turned out just like this guy, THAT'S HOW THEY WOULD SEE IT!
Since it's a guy and we live in the 21st century... WHOLE different story!
-
Personally, some men are just doing what women before them have done for years.
There's nothing vindictive about it... It's all based on what they've seen work out for women and instead of thinking with his c*ck, he's thinking for his emotions. In other words a lot of men aren't drawing the line on where love is, where love could be, or how to get what he wants instead of crawling under a rock and not taking chances. Like many women have done.
Society has taught us that.
2006-11-08 08:45:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me anytime anyone ever says the word never, they ultimately end up doing it. He's not thinking about the consequences of what he is doing. He is probably rationalizing it, because technically, he's not having an affair, his girlfriend is. She is the married one, not him, and therefore it's OK for him to see her, because it's her decision to cheat not his. Who really knows what's going on in his head. You would have to ask him that question to be sure, and even he probably doesn't know.
2006-11-08 08:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's to say what he is thinking? When we get heart broken we do some really stupid stuff & just pray that he realizes it for his own peace of mind. Before it ends up in drama.
2006-11-08 08:04:00 · answer #6 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may not have known the woman was married with kids when he met her,then it was unintentional...but if he knew, and did it anyway, there may be an subconscious part of him to "get even " with the man who helped break up his own marriage...the mind is a strange thing.
2006-11-08 08:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's fighting fire with fire and trying to prove some kind of point...he is in a dangerous situation, and should call the whole thing off.
2006-11-08 08:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF his wife had an affair, (and i sort of doubt it!), he was doing that too... he is doing it now... he cheats... thats who he is
blame is not one sided
2006-11-08 08:01:59 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only that man can answer that question. Who knows.
2006-11-08 08:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋