Can anyone help us find out whos wrong!!!!?

Question

Ok new years eve party being arranged by my sister - shes invited a woman shes been close friends with for the past number of years (She sent invites out this early to ensure people will get her invite first!)- but this woman says she cant go as she has invited people round for a card game that night.
My sis is MAJORLY ticked off because she cant see why this woman wont just rearrange the card game till another night and come to the party - but my sister is really annoyed as shes helped this lady out several times and often cancelled her own arrangements to take her places.
I say its just this womans loss out on a good night but my sis thinks shes a selfish using old bag now and is quite prepared to let her know this!
Can anyone decide whose right and whose wrong here?!

Answer 1

I suppose ur both right! Life is too short to hold a grudge and the woman will miss out on a good do! Ur sis prob feels personally rejected and hurt by the womans reply so i can understand her point as well. There will be so many other nice people at the party that the rejection of 1 person shuouldn't ruin the whole thing. Maybe ur sis should think twice b4 changing her plans in the future for this woman. Ur sis sounds like a lovely, caring & helpful person and not let this woman get her down. Hope u all have a great party! x

Answer 2

I believe that even best friends have no "first rights" on each other. It isn't always easy to accept though, especially when you've put a great deal of emotional investment into a relationship.

If her friend had opted to go to a different party, then I would say she had every right to be upset, as she was being placed in second place. However, her friend was planning a card game which may entail purchasing food, drink, whatever, which she can only do then.

Sometimes friends also get "too close" and one or the other needs a little room to breathe and find themselves - outside of the twosome they've become. I would suggest that rather than be aggressive, your sister tell her friend how this has made her feel, and why, in a polite, adult manner. After all, the explanation could be something quite practically related or something to do with someone who's going to the card game that won't be able to make it at a later date.
Friends are not our property, and when we do things for them, we do it out of love, not expecting anything in return. I'm not saying I don't understand your sister's anger, but only that she should temper it with friendship. If the other lady turns out to just be a loser, at least your sister's self-respect and integrity will have remained intact by approaching a more than childish attitude in a very adult manner.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like your sis is throwing a good ol fashion temper tantrum! Is she threatening to lay on the floor and hold her breath till she turns blue unless this lady changes her plans???
If she were to have invited your sis to play cards that night, would your sis have changed HER party plans?? Maybe a card game is how this lady and her family/guests choose to ring in the new year?
If your sis feels as though she has really seen her true colors, the ADULT thing to do would be just to respect the declination of her invite and accept the reasons why..and to just LEARN that not everybody is as eager to please others as your sister is. Not everybody feels the need to satisfy the requests of others to the point of changing their own plans. If this makes your sis THAT mad, then maybe she should just settle on the idea that maybe this isn't somebody that she should worry about pleasing all the time.
Has she ever heard the saying "you can't make all the people happy all the time?" ---maybe she should start living by that a little more-like her friend does-and then she won't feel so slighted when someone can't reciprocate what she feels she's entitled to.

Answer 4

Your sister is wrong. How can she plan a New Years Eve card game on a different night? So, your sister just wants people to come to her party to be the most popular or so that all her "friends" can kiss her a@@? Some people don't like leaving their home on New Years. You sister should be gracious and say "So, sorry. We'll get together some other time."

Answer 5

I can see why your sister would be angry but at the end of the day, you can't force someone to do something they don't wanna do. Maybe she's not into parties or something. Your sis should just enjoy the new year and say nothing. There's no point falling out with a close friend over something so petty x x x

Answer 6

Goodness why is your sister being so controlling of what her friend wants to do that night? If she went out of her way to help her friend and changed her arrangements then thats her own doing. Maybe sometime her friend will reciprocate.

If shes already invited people around, she cannot cancel on them to go to a party..that is ruder.

Tell your sister to lighten up if she really really loves this friend so much she wont have fun at her own party tell her not to have it then.

Answer 7

I think your advice to your sister was fine. If the lady won't rearrange her card game, then it'll be her loss for not attending the party.
In my opinion, and this is based only on what I've read from your post, it sounds like your sister is overreacting. She shouldn't get upset over this. She gave her friend an option to attend her party and her friend is choosing to host a card game instead. It's her choice and she made it. Let it go and move on. Your sister should not let something so trivial ruin her entire party (and it sounds like thats what it's going to do).

Answer 8

It is rude of the other lady,but it seems she doesnt really want to go to your sisters pary or she would re arrange her card game!! Tell your sister to for get her and have a good party without her!! And next time she asks your sister to do any thing maybe she shouldnt bother!! Hope the party goes well x

Answer 9

Your sister is right. If I had a party and a close friend would rather play cards then I would be upset. Can't she play cards at the party?

Your sister should have a calm & quiet word with her telling her what she thinks. But she's a woman so she'll probably slag her off behind her back or rant&rave at her.

Answer 10

I think your sis is being a little over the top about the situation. Why does she think that people can't make their own plans for New Years Eve. This friend told her that she has already invited people over also. Its not like its a ordinary Sat. night. Your sis is wrong here, sorry.