What should I do to get that spark back?

Question

I am looking for advice as I am unable to think straight.

I married for almost 2 years now. I love my husband alot and he loves me too but there is no spark in the relationship anymore.
I am not at all attracted to him and we haven't nade love in ages.
I just dont get aroused even if he makes an attempt. My mind always keeps thinking about something else.
We live with his mother and even though she is a nice woman, she is biased towards me and my husband gets a little defensive when I say something about her.

There is lots of hugs & cuddles and warmth and (love too) in our relationship but thats it...nothing more than that.

I dont know what to do?

Answer 1

move out of his mothers house for a start

Answer 2

I agree with most of the people who posted here. Move out. Having sex and the arousal doesnt just happen in the bedroom. It is the little things throughout the house that makes the spark stay. You and your husband are confined to a room and that is the only place that you can "be free" When you have your own place, you can feel more free to do things, be LOUD, on the couch.. etc. The MIL is hendering you from being a couple. She can be nice, but it sounds like she needs to let you be a married couple. Hope this helped.

Answer 3

Maybe you have summed up what alot of married couples feel I know that I have been feeling alot like this lately and it is not good for you mentally, and I think that maybe we start to take things for granted. I think it would help if you took some time out to talk to him and really let him know how you are feeling maybe together you could find a way to get that spark back or maybe just trying some time out would help ( i can appreciate that living with his mother would not help the situation as she might say to her son told you so), your husband maybe feeling like you do and may not know how to discuss this with you either, I think that you are only going to find a solution with your husband you have to remember that this guy once was able to really get you going as that is the reason that you got married you need to find the spark again as it has just gone missing hopefully communication will help find it and put magic once again in your relationship. If you do not talk to your husband you may end up resenting him and that could end any chance that you have of saving your marriage remember this is a husband and not a boyfriend.

Answer 4

You have to move out of the in-laws house for starters and give it a run of your own. But you mentioned that when he attempts to arouse you you think of some one else? If this is the case, I don't know how much being on your own together will help. Unless the thought of another man is not intended to replace your husband physically but to replace other issues that you have with him, like living with his mom.
Good luck-

Answer 5

I think you should go on holiday together and have a little time together without his mother so you can rediscover what first attracted you to each other. And if it is possible try and find somewhere else to live as living with your mother-in-law after only being married a couple of years must be difficult for you. And instead of gettin stressed about love making try other things like a sensual massage - good luck

Answer 6

Take a walk hold hands talk dirty book a room at the local motel get out of your house and away from mommy, constant surveillance will kill any relationship . Good god girl after only two years marriage you two should be tearing your cloths off as you rush to find the nearest bed or couch . you say your not attracted to him ? were has the guy gone that made your knees tremble and those juices flow . you say you cuddle and hug perhaps its time to just be plain lusty and jump on him .
Its a sad thing when a lack of communication is the thing that ruins a partnership. its just words and feelings that you need to express to him . it really is sad .

Answer 7

First of all you guys need to get your own place because maybe he feels uncomfortable making love in his moms house. I know I would too. There is no privacy to be physical and that sort of thing. That could be the reason. That is mynumber one rule before i married if i have to live with your mom there is no way im marrying you so you better get our own place first. If youhave no choice and have to live there well you can go out and do things together once a week. I date my husband all over again once a week. We discuss things we have not had time for during the week.We go out to dinner then walk around the mall then go home have a glass of wine and watch deal or no deal. I love that show lol. Then go to bed. It works for us. Let me tell ya we are married only two years and im not living with my mom or his and we had trouble but i realized i had to change somethings about me first in order to get the ball rolling here. With men you have to grab there hand and show them. If youdon't they won't budge sometimes. Men are different species from us women. If you initate more trust me he will follow. Men are just programmed that way. if you need more help you can find me through yahoo messenger or email me. I don't have all the answer only god do but if i can help someone it makes me happy.

Answer 8

You may want to try moving out of his mom's house. That would be a definate downer for Mr. Happy. Also you may want to try different things like going to a bar and have him come in later and pick you up, take you to a hotel and bang the night away. You seem to have fallen into a routine which you need to break out of.

Answer 9

Wow I am so sorry for you I am going through very similar right now and I have been married 5 years together 8 years I love him dearly and love everything about our relationship apart from I dont fancy him any more and he doesnt fancy me anymore....but he wont talk about it and I have been trying for so long we are like best friends that live together

Answer 10

Your main problem is that you're not attracted to him, I really don't know how you can change that. You can't possibly love him because if you did he would most definitely turn you on, you need to step back and look at yourself and try to sort out what's happening in your life without trying to blame others for your situation.

Answer 11

You must rearrange and organize your life properly . Start taking active part in maintaining the house , cook all the three meals . Eat together , go for morning walk / jogging / meditation / and visit spa / health club regularly . Maintain humor in the house with good health . Stop nagging and practice and learn to appreciate your husband's work and decisions AND find the pleasant change in your life again with full of romance and happiness .