what do i do i need help dont know what to do?

Question

been with a guy for a year now im 17wks pregnant i suffer from bloodclots in my lungs and need to take injections i was to go for blood tranfussion today he didnt ask nothing about it how was i getting to the hospital r anything i had to miss the appointment he hates going go antinatal appointment because of the wait its his first child he says why do i need to change i dont want to change and how can i care bout the baby when its in your belly. he speaks to me as if im crap especially when hes drinking at weekends he goes partying and doesnt care what he does im thinking bout having an abortion i cant do this on my own again im worried sick as i know he wont change how do i get him to wake up please help me

Answer 1

Honey this guy sounds like a complete jerk. Sit him down and tell him exactly what you're thinking. If he won't listen then write it in a letter. If you're getting nowhere then give him the boot.
Babies are a scary subject for anyone but it can't be ignored. Maybe a sharp shock will be what he needs.
Above all the most important thing to do just now is look after yourself. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I'd been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He was abusive both physically and verbally. When I found out I was pregnant I didn't know what to do. I was only 16 and had had no contact with my family for almost 4 months because of my boyfriend. Sadly I miscarried a week later and it was only then that I had the strength to confide in a workmate and she helped me to get out. Whatevers going on remember you're never alone. There is always someone to help you and there is always an answer. Abortion probably isn't the answer though. At 17 weeks your baby is almost at the stage where it can survive outside the womb. It is now a little person. Look after number 1 because all the choices you make now will affect the rest of your life. Talk to your friends and family, go to your GP and ask to be put in touch with a support group. Being a single parent isn't easy but it's alot easier than bein with someone who doesn't respect you. I hope everything works out for you xxx

Answer 2

sweet heart this guy doesn't appreciate what he's got. try staying at your parents or a friends house for a couple of days. if he doesn't respond he is not worth the trouble. your sanity and well being does not need the hassle of fixing this relationship. if you do leave Him seriously consider other methods than abortion. there are things like adoption. there are various medical risks involved in a abortion and in 10 years time when you have settled down and married the abortion you had 10 years ago could have affected how your body will reproduce. not only that having a baby grow inside of you is the most wonderful experience. you may not feel that right now but once you have settled in to the pregnancy things will change.
i really hope you make the right descision with this guy, because if you think he won't change then he probably wont. i also understand that being a single parent is hard but even if you stay with this guy and continue with the pregnancy it will be the equivalent of being a single parent. you may want to confide in your family or network of friend because they are the one's that will stick around and help when you need it.

Answer 3

some guys never wake up.if he's acting like this now,how do you think he'll act when the baby is born.and i hate to hear the thought of an abortion,that's not the way out.if you really want this baby but are unable to do it your self there are places that you can go for the help you need and for your baby.when i got pregnant the 2nd time my boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion cause he wasen't ready for another one.i left him.but he came back and now he loves serina more then anything and would do anything for her.some guys don't have the parenting gene like others do,some men takes time to deal with the new change and others,never change.when i was pregnant with my first i was beatin,batered,brused and put in the hospital 3 times and almost lost the baby.but i never gave up,i gave up on the father not on my baby.the doctors told me it would be a risk to carry the baby but that was a risk i was willing to take.and trust me.if you don't feel safe or trust him now,how will you ever.as the old saying goes,"ANY MAN CAN BE A FATHER BUT IT TAKES A REAL MAN TO BE A DAD."and those words have never been so true.don't count on someone else to take care of you,be strong,hold your head up and prepare your self for the most joyful time of your life to come,motherhood.god love and good luck.

Answer 4

He sounds like somebody you dont need in your life he obviously isnt interested in playing happy families and bringing up a child is hard enough when your in a happy solid relationship and think of the child growing up in a unhappy enviroment probablly feeling unloved of its dad an knowing its mum is sad and unloved too!As for having an abortion you need to decide if you are strong enough to have the baby and doing it alone if you dont think you can do this then you have your answer and if you decide to do this you can start a fresh dump this loser and find some1 who will love you as u should be and eventually have a family with when u are both ready and happy.I hope this helps good luck!

Answer 5

Alot of women have children on their own, so yes you can. Abortion is not the answer besides do you realize that child is pretty much completely formed at 17 weeks. They may still do them but I think it is a little late for that, don't you? Anyway, your boyfriend sounds like a real loser. You can not make someone feel or do what you want and considering you know he won't change then I think you should move on. Hit him up for child support later, it will cut down on his drinking money.

Answer 6

I don't know which state you live in,but in some states it is illegal to get an abortion. You can look at other alternatives such as adoption, their are very loving married couples who can not have kids and they would love to adopt your baby.Years ago my husband's cousin got pregnant and wasn't in a place of her life to keep it and she found parents and knew them and felt safe about giving them her son.Maybe an abortion would be better. But whatever you do you really need to figure out if staying with your boyfriend is better for you. It sounds to me like you could do a whole lot better. I hope answers come to you and that it'll be alright.

Answer 7

You sound like you would be better off without him.
There is no point in having an abortion if you are planning on staying with him, he won't change.
Just do it on your own, you sound like you really want this baby, and I'm sure you would get support from your family and friends if you were to be a single mum.
Good luck and take care x

Answer 8

firstly dont ever think you have to do anything on your, you dont, people are out there to support you. sounds to me like he needs to grow up, hes been incredilbly selfish, you need to sit downnow with him (when he is sober), and explain to him how you feel, pregnancy can be a very lonely place to be without the support of your loved ones, and he if cant change (and believe me with that attitude hes going to be getting a shock), then you are more than likely better off without him. as you are 17 weeks gone already im assuming that you do actually want this baby, and maybe are thinking well if he doesnt and i get rid of it then that will make him happy, well it wont. you should not let anyone get you down, and dont let him make you feel as everything is your fault, or your just feeling like that because of "hormones", because thats just his excuse of passing the blame. what about your parents or a close friend or relative, speak to them if you can about everything, or ask your midwife for a bit more support, afterall that is what they are their for , and they probably deal with situations like yours everyday. please get some help and support its not nice to have to deal with something like that alone. good luck with whatever you decide and i hope your happy again soon xx

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I had the same problem 6 years ago when i was pregnant with my daughter. I went to scans myself the whole shibang!!!!!!! I decided when i was 4 months pregnant to go it alone i threw him out and explained why. He was shocked to say the least!!!!!!
It was scary and i was only 18 with no support.

He eventually realised that he was in the wrong and i took him back he regrets still to this day that he missed our daughters scan, but him being at the birth and every year since fairly made up for the few months he missed.

I say kick him out if he comes back begging forgiveness then its worth fighting for but let him know that you will stand for no ****