It's more than four years since I graduated from high school, but I still feel like a school kid at times like this. There is a party happening tonight for a friend of mine who's tying the knot soon. Most of my school friends will be there, but I've totally branched out from them so much that I don't like their company anymore. These friends of mine didn't really complete school as they left after the tenth or eleventh grade. They did other studies, got married and have their own families now. They are all comfortably off. And, in the meantime, I carved my own niche of friends and work that I'm comfortable with, and I feel uncomfortable meeting my old friends after such a long time. It's like we have NOTHING in common now. To make matters work, I'm single. A few friends have commented on it in the past, and it really hurt me although I didn't show it. Contrary to what they think, I really am sought after, but I'm picky about my choice of mate. They just think I'm a failure.
Help me!
2006-11-07 21:59:53 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I absolutely have to attend this party, since they ARE a part of my childhood and it is only right that I be there. But, that's not to say that I like them anymore. It's like being in school again with friends I tried to fit in with, but never actually enjoyed their company to the fullest. Sure, it was nice being "popular" back then, but I don't care about it anymore. But, some of my friends do care about it STILL. They still want to stick together thinking that they are "it". Our group has always been the bullying kind. We selected the smartest, richest and the prettiest girls. I was none, but I was liked by a few people, so I managed to fit in with that crowd. Now, I'm a lot prettier (some were amazed at my transformation!), and more confident............. but, at times like these, I feel like cringing.
It's been a year since I saw them last.
How do I tackle the situation
2006-11-07 22:01:00 · update #1
we all grow up [or at leat, that what is suppose to happen] So, do not feel guilty of growing up and becoming a mature individual whose priorities has changed over time. This is how it ought to be. When we were children, we did the things children do and viewed the world with much immaturity. But as we grow, we find that those things that were so important to us at the time, hardly has any value now. So, if your friends perhaps have been stuck in a childhood bubble, [and if they willingly want to be there] leave them there and move on with your life. Do what pelases you, as long as you live in harmony with God and your fellow-man.
IIf your old friends cannot respect this, it solves the problem for you, isn't it?
2006-11-07 22:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by godshandmaiden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you are facing is not uncommon. If you have changed your life and your peer group and you are so conflicted by this event just don't go. You said that you HAVE to go. You are an adult and you don't HAVE to do anything that you don't want to do. I had a friend from school ask me why I didn't attend the(I've been out of school longer than you have by 1/4century+) last reunion we had. I told her quite honestly that I thought it was ridiculous to pay forty dollars to hang around with a bunch of people that I couldn't stand 30 years ago. Blunt, perhaps, but true. If you are as uncomfortable as you say you are don't go.
2006-11-07 22:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Only hell mama ever raised 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Complicated question.Going on your first statement I would have advised that you forget the party.The second part suggests that in fact you are interested to attend. So make up your mind as an adult.You are no more at school ...unless you want to prove that the ugly duckling has now changed into a beauty! Ultimately it will be your own choice and you stand nothing to loose!
2006-11-07 22:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by CRAnoop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's crunch time! Now's the time to really test your confidence, pretty one. Don't worry about the past and deal only with the present.
Enjoy the party and smile a lot--let them figure out what you're up to--since you won't be seeing any them for another twenty years or so anyway...
Peace be with you!
2006-11-07 22:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by Arf Bee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know.. time flies by so fast.. I still look back at my highschool photos and it seems like yesterday.. I still have the same likes and dislikes as I did then.. I dont know why, but I still feel the same.. sometimes I notice my body changing, getting older, but inside I feel young.. I asked my mother and grandmother about this. and they both agreed also.. they just dont feel old.. they still feel like they did when young.. I think we hit a certain point in life where our thoughts, likes, dislikes patterns stableize, but even though our bodies might age, inside our minds are still unchanged... When I see my grandmother dancing with my grandfather, I know she is a teen in her heart...
so dont worry much about your own feelings.. Just be the best you can..enjoy the friends you have and the times spent with them.. goodluck! ^_^
2006-11-07 22:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mintee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to go? You will make them as uncomfortable as you are/
I tried getting back with my high school friends--------big mistake. Now I forget it-----I think we are all happier for it.
Just nicely say you must decline, and forget it. You do not have to give a reason. If asked, just say you cannot make it. No one will really miss you anyway-to be perfectly honest. They have their own little world, now, too.
2006-11-07 22:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Shossi 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people use recreational pharmaceuticals to great effect.
_
2006-11-07 22:01:22 · answer #7 · answered by GoogleRules 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋