she looks many, many years younger than her actual age and for the first few months we met, she hadn't told me how old she really was. I found out by accident one day and we decided to continue since we were "just having fun" and it wasn't serious. but things have a way of getting serious the longer you stay with someone, so now it doesn't feel like "a one night stand that lasted a bit longer than normal". it feels like a proper relationship, since we get along, have similar sense of humour, etc. we have actualy moved in together too but we're both pretending that it's just for the convenience of halving the rent and nothing more. of course, that can never be the case when two people that are involved sexualy live together. so, my question: i can't break up, can't do it. but if this keeps going we'll eventaully end up getting married and then I'll regret it later. so will she! i'm not being selfish. the age difference is too great. what do I do???
2006-11-07 21:45:43 · 19 answers · asked by Neo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
GOOD LUCK
2006-11-07 21:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are really such a kid. you said it yourself, she's much, much older than you therefore that woman might have a lot of maturity than you when she entered the relationship. All you have to do is open your mouth and say what you really want, and that is???? Your girlfriend obviously is not a mind-reader, and you are lying to yourself and to her and the longer you play and deny the situation the harder it would be for the both of you when it will explode to a nasty ending, believe me..you are not a boy anymore so don't tag along....speak up and be man because that's one of the reason she fell in love with you..if things don't work out for her, she will cry definitely but she will get over it if she's really that mature, she should know in the first place what she's getting into when you both started it...never pretend to somebody and base your relationship just bec. you pity your partner, it will never work out..Good luck.
2006-11-08 05:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by ladyhawke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope i am understanding this right. If i am' seems to me your all up in your own head. Sounds like you have a good thing going. Better than most. Why would you regret marrying her? that i don't get. Go with it' be glad you got it and don't worry about the age. It's hard enough to find a good person that loves you. You can throw it away if you want' If you do that will be what you regret.
2006-11-08 06:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Barry if your not were you want to be tell the lady that its not right for you and that you are sorry that you hurt her but in all fairness you cant stay . the lady will be hurt but that is why its called breaking up.
I hope you look back one day and see that this might have been the best thing you could have done . but honestly I think you may just regret leaving her sounds like she might have been the one for you if you could have moved past the age difference.
All the best to you and the lady involved as well .
BE HONEST WITH HER .
2006-11-08 06:35:24 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, are you sure it is going to matter? DO you know how precious love is...will you be huritng if you don't find that with a younger woman?
If it is creating chaos in you mind, interfering with your values or feelings for her then...suggest you both start a more traditional "roomies" situation until you can move. Love=honesty and respect. SO respect her and yourself enough to tell the truth...lay out your concerns; it doesn't help that her inital age'fib' ensconced you, but you are already there.
Life is tooooooo short to spend it in limbo.
2006-11-08 06:03:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem to think life is a roller coaster that you had no choice in boarding and have no choice in getting off,,what are you ,,a man or mouse as they say,,grow some balls and stop making excuses for your life going where you dont want it too,,no one is going to come and end it for you,,no one is going to tell her how you really feel,,in life,if you want something you have to go and get it,,you want to end this relationship so end it,,saying you will just end up getting married isnt something you can pretend just happens overnight,,it has to be a proposal,,there has to be arrangements made,,you have to physically walk up the isle,,you dont just wake up one morning after a year or two and find yourself wed. quit with the "i cant control my life,poor me" routine and move your butt! end it if there is no future because she may know how you feel and be quite happy for you to stay anyway,,she is much older and may be content with her lot,,you being with her out of a kind of pity isnt good.
2006-11-08 07:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will only not work if you don't want it to. I met a lady that was 72 yrs old, and her bf is 55. They have been together for 20 yrs. Don't lose a good thing.
2006-11-08 06:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you speak of "many, many" what are you talking about youngster, decades?
My friend is ten years older then her boyfriend, we know one that's fifteen years younger. I don't know what to say. Follow the fickle heart and see where it leads you to. Your going to hear comments, you going to hear something from the relatives but remember this, your the one sleeping with her, not them. Good luck.
2006-11-08 05:51:32 · answer #8 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i'm in a reltionship were my partner is 13yrs older then me but i don't care as long as you care enough for that particular person but u need to follow your heart as well as your head follow both i works trust me because my partner and i are now married and have 3 beutiful children so i don't know if this helps you or not but good luck with it
2006-11-10 16:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by dan k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are this much concerned about her age at this stage, let her go quick and in a hurry. There's nothing worst than a slow-fade. You must not let her delude herself into thinking it's going to last. You know in your heart of hearts it will not.
2006-11-08 16:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by Iamaman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you're just afraid of commitment and the word marriage scares you to death...for me it's obvious that you are attracted to this person physically and emotionally...if not, what have you been doing with her all this time?!?!?!?...try to grow up and make up your mind...either commit fully to this relationship or break it up as soon as possible...it is not fair to make her believe you love her too if you don't
2006-11-08 06:01:50 · answer #11 · answered by alex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋