m trying to save d marriage. me & my kids moved out from my parent's place then rent a house to stay with him. I didn't told my family abt this. My hope for better future for our family fades. He drinks a lot. He always go out with his friends. Living as if he was a bachelor. He always start the fight and loves showing it to our kids. He accused me of having an affair and even calling me a "prostitute", He does not care about the rent, the daily expenses. He let me shoulder everything. I want to get out but I'm scared of him. Im scared of his violent behavior. Shall I discuss this with his father? Shall I run to my family and ask for help?
2006-11-07 21:14:10 · 13 answers · asked by frampton 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Run Run Run. You should not be with a man who you are afraid of. What do you want to show your children, is this the kind of relationship you want for them? If he is accusing you of cheating it is probably him that is doing it. Good luck
2006-11-07 22:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by kelsey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I would not discuss this with his father - this will probably lead your already violent husband towards more violence and give him "excuses" when there is NO excuse for violence.
Don't ever think that you deserve to be abused. You are a mother of beautiful children, and just try and think about them, not so much on you and your husband. I know that sounds hard, but for you and your children's sanity and safety, please try and get out of there as soon as possible.
You need to take a deep breath and tell someone in your family - you may not think they will understand but letting someone else know what is going on does help - you'll go crazy trying to do this on your own.
If your daughter was in this position what would your advice be to her? YOU are somebody's daughter - listen to your heart and head. Get some support from a community group / womens group - you are not alone and it is NOT your fault he is like this.
You already make your own money, manage a budget and take care of your family - fortunately you've got a great start in being able to support yourself financially. He is a drain on you emotionally and financially, and seems irresponsible, and almost seems like another child you take care of. BUT he is a man, not a child - and should act like a man. You deserve a man who is supportive and participates in all aspects of the relationship equally.
GO TO YOUR FAMILY NOW. They love you and even if they don't understand, you need them to just be there. Good luck darlin. and be strong.
2006-11-07 21:40:41 · answer #2 · answered by S M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the reason he's accusing you of having an affair is because he's the one who's actually cheating. To be honest this relationship sounds very abusive mentally, emotionally and if you don't get out now, it will get physical. He has a drinking problem but there's nothing much you can do to save your marriage if your husband is not helping himself. Better to just get out of this situation.
2006-11-07 21:28:46 · answer #3 · answered by Leila G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you risking this kind of abuse for the sake of saving this family? And who said that a family only consists of a husband, wife, and children? why not just the wife and children? I just don't get it. You need to stop dreaming girl and get real. This man doesn't care about you. He probably doesn't even love you. But you are willing to go back to the abuse and humiliation in front of your children for the sake of saving something that is bad to begin with. Get a job, save money, start standing on your own two feet and divorce him. It's not worth staying in a relationship for the sake of being controlled and abused.
2006-11-07 23:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a grown woman----and you're letting this dead beat rule you like he's the king of the castle. I'm sorry but what are you sticking around for? Find yourself someplace else to live---MOVE your children out of this environment before DCFS or CPS comes a knocking and takes your children out that environment for you.
You knew how this man was before you moved back in with him and now you're trying to back pedal!
You're always looking for the easy way out and being co-dependant on your family or his family for that perpetual HANDOUT!!! Do something on your own for once---YOU do have a brain---start using it!!
2006-11-07 22:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it somewhat is annoying to "connect" while existence throws lots of little well-known jobs around. the factor that has helped my spouse and that i is our willingness to take negative aspects, something that hasn't consistently been genuine. power one hundred miles away and stay in one day someplace, or do something wild in mattress, or carry out a little activity you have in no way completed in the previous (snowboarding, seeing performs or stand-up comedy, etc). all human beings is extra suitable in many situations extra suitable at doing than questioning. stable success.
2016-10-21 11:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, the relationship is not worth keeping; NO, you shouldn't discuss it with his father; and YES, run to your family for help
2006-11-07 23:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by out of my wit's end 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you can for your kids, even if it means putting their needs ahead of your own. I say you should gather your kids together, pack all your things, and get out of that dangerous situation. Good Luck.
2006-11-07 21:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to your family and tell them you need help and why. I'm serious when I tell you that if I had a husband that did that to me, my brothers would be his worst nightmare. Gotta love family.
2006-11-07 23:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need this man, as you shoulder everything. So, why are you still tolerating his nonsence, his violent behaviour? Go to your family, and they will help you to keep away from him.
2006-11-07 21:38:27 · answer #10 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋