My husband and I have been married for about 9 months. He has already cheated on me at the 5 month mark. He said he would never do it again. I believe him but I am still a little suspicious. I have a problem with him having so many female friends. He friend male and female only call him on his cell phone when he is at work. The do not call the house often. I told him that makes me feel uncomfortable but I don't think he understands. I just want to be treated like we were when we were dating. He treated me like i was the only woman on this earth. I don't want him talking to any women on the cell phone. I want to trust him on the email and when I am not around. I just want him to think about my feelings before he does anything that he knows might bothers me. Is this to much to ask for. Please give me advice because I don't know how much more I can take.
2006-11-07 21:11:01 · 8 answers · asked by T.C. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand that you don't trust him because he cheated on you, but you should stop and consider that you probably don't want him to end your friendships with your guy friends either. Has he tried to change his ways? Take that into consideration.
2006-11-08 07:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be offended by what I have to say. Did you have regular sex before marriage?
If your answer is yes, then I think the novelty has worn off for him, and he is seeking other pastures.
If your answer is no, do you know if he had sexual relationships with other women prior to and even while dating you? Has he ever boasted or compared you with anyone else (even negatively)?
Either way, a serious one-to-one talk would be the best solution. Do not project yourself as a wounded person. Instead I would advise you to take an aggressive stand wherein you demand answers from him, and if need be threaten divorce with all the consequences of heavy alimony etc. That will probably bring him to his senses.
DO NOT TAKE REVENGE BY HAVING AN EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIR YOURSELF. THAT WILL GO STRONGLY AGAINST YOU IN CASE THE MATTER COMES TO COURT (which I hope it doesn't).
Hope you're not pregnant, because that can be another complication. Get this matter sorted out one way or another soon, because once a child comes along, you'll find yourself shackled to your husband, and he will still have a roving eye.
2006-11-08 18:53:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First don't cheat on him just to get back at him "two wrongs don't make a right" this would only cause more problems. Did you find out he cheated or did he tell you himself. I would try counseling if he is serious that he will never do it again he will go with you. It does hurt a lot when they know what the are doing hurts you deeply and they STILL do it. You could (when he is sleeping) hide his cell and when he is at work answer the calls and find out what is really going on or get the numbers of the people who are calling him and call them yourself. It might be hard to do but he is being to secretive with the cell phone calls I would check it out. Either way if he wants to go to counseling or not you can go yourself. Good luck
2006-11-08 08:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by melbow35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop being so jelaous.what does it mean when you say that you do not want him to talk to any women on his cell?i am not saying that i support his actions but you should try to calm down.nowadays being married for a short period of time means nothing since almost all couples are dating for years before they decide to get married.it is only a simple typical thing.
maybe your husband does these things because he doesn't want you to get upset. how do you know that he cheated on you?did you caught him all of these times? if yes then you shouldn't stay any longer with him.in my opinion what you should do is to start thinking what are the positive aspects and the negative ones of your husband and marriage too. write them down so you can see them and then take a final decision. it might sound taugh but it works..
2006-11-08 05:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by rovina g 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF.You are qualified for a respectable profession. Persue your career with full devotion. This will save you from all sorts of unnecessary worries.100% Life consists of 30% forgiving errors,30% appreciating qualities,30% living together,8% sex and 2% conflicts.
Don't allow conflicts to increase beyond limits. In your free time practise your hobby. Listen to good music. Read variety of books. Your career is most improtant to you that will lead you to a satisfactory life and I am sure your husband will fully cooperate you in persuing your career.
2006-11-08 05:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by neela m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has cheated on you so soon, it means he doesn't love you, he wants you as a trophy, since he is playing away already, soon he will find another trophy on the Mantle piece. Call it a day for your happiness and piece of mind.
2006-11-08 05:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by Krishna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your paranoia and mistrust are a big issue for you... Why did he cheat in the first place???
If he is interested in another woman, then get him to invite her round and have a 3some... Sounds like more fun than worrying... ;)
2006-11-08 05:19:24 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i will suggest you do the same -what ever is doing your husband,then he must realised it,and stopped all the thing what presently he is doing.do it carefully.
2006-11-08 07:57:11 · answer #8 · answered by ms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋