My friends friend is trying to keep me and my friend apart :`(?

Question

My best friends name is julia and she has 2 best friends me and jess. Jess wants to be her only best friend so she trys to turn Julia against me. She makes it seem like im a ***** or something. Julia likes us equal so i cant talk to her about it or she will get mad that i dont like her best friend. I cant talk to jess because she will tell julia that i dont like her. I have tryed my best to be nice to jess and havent ever been mean to her but how do i let her know that julia can have 2 best friends and that we can be best friends too. Please help because if i dont find a solution i could loose her. thanx for helping

Answer 1

i just went through the same exact thing it was heart breaking! i simply told my other friend that i didn't get along with her other friend and i would NEVER ask her to choose, but i would like it if we could spend our own time together. now she seperates the weekends and spends like ever-other one with me. and because i was so laid back about it and her other friend was kind of rude she is starting to see how it really is. she is spending more and more time with me and complaining about the other girl but i try and not complain with her that way she thinks i am just a listener
all the while i am dancing inside lol

Answer 2

Julia considers you her best friend, which means that she knows you well and long enough--your quirks, your moods, your positive traits, and the qualities that make you a friend worth keeping. If you are as important to Julia as we'd like to believe, then no scheme of Jess could ruin that. Friendships are built on trust. If Jess makes up stories and makes you look bad, Julia being your friend should know better than to believe her right away and without proof. If she does, then she isn't really your friend after all. Don't bother talking to either Julia or Jess about it -- it will only make things worse. Just continue being genuinely nice to Jess (but watch your back too) and continue being a good friend to Julia. In time, perhaps Julia will notice that Jess is being selfish and childish about the whole thing.

Answer 3

well, in a case like this, you just have to tell jess the truth. and it's up to her whether she's willing to accept you or not.
you sound like a great friend for hanging in there and putting up with jess, and she's lucky that you're still willing to be friends with her. that shows what a considerate and forgiving person you are. and julia is lucky to have you for a friend too.
there's absolutely no good reason that the three of you couldn't be best friends. but it sounds like jess is jealous of you being friends with julia, and wants to cut you out of the picture.
julia needs to let jess know that she isn't going to put up with her being mean to you anymore than she would put up with you being mean to jess. and until she does that, there will be problems.
you don't worry about a thing though, you haven't done anything wrong, and that's great! just keep being the nice person that you are, and things will work out for your best.
there doesn't have to be fighting to work things out, but there has to be compromise, respect, and consideration.
I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Simple solution to a complex problem: Talk to both of them at the same time and vent your frustrations as a problem that needs to be resolved. If you don't, eventually either you or the girl you are competing with for Julia's attention will irritate her to the point that she starts ignoring the more annoying one. (that one usually being the one that says, "It's either me or her.") When it happened to me, my best friend chose to keep me around instead of the other guy because the other guy actually gave him that ultimatum.
Now doing this will gain you both a great deal of respect as well as some hurt feelings, but it will resolve the situation faster. If you'd rather not discuss the matter with both of them, just wait and eventually you will get the same result anyway (possibly many years down the road.)
Hopefully it works out for you. Best wishes.

Answer 5

dear worried,
the answer is quite simple. you should tell your best friend that u feel jess is trying to separate u. although, u have to be very careful. watch ur tone and u have to supplemement ur statement with evidence. and if u have no evidence to support it, u are probably worrying for nothing. tell julia in what ways jess makes u look like a ****. i'm sure if julia is ur best friend, then she'll definitely look into the matter and take care of it.
yours in worrying
anand