I'm Irish & my daughter has very light skin but she has very frizzy hair. I had furniture delivered & one of the delivery men who happened to be black asked me if she had black blood in her. I was surprised he asked since her dad was there(also Irish) but I wasn't insulted by it I just thought it was a very wierd ? considering that she's so light. But I got a call from the manager of the store apologizing for the comment. Apparently his partner(also black) thought it was rude. Am I stupid or was it that bad of a ? to ask. I don't want the guy to get in trouble but I'm just wondering if there was a reason to get insulted. I didn't think twice about it. Would you ??
2006-11-07 19:22:23 · 12 answers · asked by gitsliveon24 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Commentary and/or speculation on one's race by strangers is quite rude, because it is none of their business. The store was correct in issuing an apology.
2006-11-07 19:26:24 · answer #1 · answered by solarius 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You ask a really important and timely question. This is actually much larger than the incident you report. For some time now, society has been moving away from standard, long-held notions of propriety.
There was a time when personal questions like those asked of you, were deemed inappropriate. But, alas, times have changed. what is becoming the norm nowadays is for people to ask very personal questions. The pretext for doing this is that by asking personal questions one is showing a keen interest in the other person. Increasingly, asking these kinds of questions is regarded as a friendly act.
I think you're being quite a sport for taking this lightly; and I have no doubt the person did not mean it in an offensive way. Nevertheless, I hate this new trend of "tell-me-everything-about-your life" openness. I find it offensive and presumptuous.
2006-11-08 03:31:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jack 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't there to hear voice inflection, etc., but I would not take this as rude. Would it have been rude to ask if she is Irish or
German? I think that we all need to share a bit more with each other if we are to get along better. You don't say how old your daughter is and I don't know if he had some other interest in her? I have two daughters (25 &21) and I am sort of bear like protective of them, not that they need me to be. It just is how I think. But, if this fellow was interested in asking your daughter out, maybe he feels he has to know she's a little bit of the same race or something? It would sure be great if we could all just be proud of who we are, or at least comfortable with it, and discussion of other people's ancestory could just be fun and interesting.
2006-11-08 03:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only an insult if being black is somehow bad (and it's obviously not bad!). Since anyone with an ounce of decency views race as a physical trait and not a character trait, this isn't an insult. An odd question, perhaps, but not an insult. The deliveryman shouldn't get into trouble, in my opinion.
No, I wouldn't have been offended. Puzzled, perhaps, but not offended.
2006-11-08 03:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by Rusting 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was an insensitive question on his part, and shows his own ignorance when both of you were present. But if you are not angry, than you shouldn't get angry. Its not worth it. However, if he is asked to apologize, please accept it but say that there really was no need. Personally I would view the question as you said "weird" and no more insulting that a child who says you are "fat" when you are actually pregnant.
2006-11-08 03:26:00 · answer #5 · answered by Ancient Forever Lost 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its fine for you not to be offended. I can definitely say that it was inappropriate for an employee of a company to ask the consumer such a question. I don't see why there would be any reason for him to ask that. If this type of question was necessary(which it wasn't for the situation) there are better ways for him to have asked.
2006-11-08 03:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by qianamonee 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing to get upset about. Merely shows lack of manners on the part of the delivery man.
2006-11-08 03:27:18 · answer #7 · answered by majorcavalry 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is extremely forward and unprofessional for any delivery person to ask personal questions, it has nothing to do with the question itself. He could get fired over this.
2006-11-08 03:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by mimi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt be ..but there are those that are still uptight when it comes to anyhing racial...being mixed with white and native american i wouldnt even think it weird-- some of our brothers and sisters are very light and some extremely dark... not an issue
2006-11-08 03:29:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People ask questions without knowledge and that was his. Affended no.
2006-11-08 03:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by ava_weis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋