now she wants me to go to counseling, she said she wont leave me but wants me to get professional help. should i go? and if so should i go as myself or as michaela?
2006-11-07 18:51:04 · 19 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
go and be your self
if you want to go as micheala then you go as micheala
if that is who you feel you are
i would not go unless it felt i was going to get something out of it
if you think you need help then take the chance
x-dressing is not a mental disorder
but if you feel your self as being a girl
then maybe a counselor would be good for you and
might help you be the person you really are
good luck you havee a good girl friend she is a keeper
2006-11-07 19:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Zara3 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
??? I'm curious as to who is asking the question? A girl or a guy cuz I see a female pic.
Anyways. If you are guy and you were keeping your cross dressing a secret from her then what do you think that says about the relationship? She doesn't feel comfortable seeing you in womens clothes and it's definately a surprise to her. You should talk to her and from there I say wish for the best. She might be able to tolerate it or she might move on. If she did move on I don't think you could or should be mad at her since you did keep it a secret and she was bound to find out sooner or later.
The key to a good relationship is an open relationship meaning you guys share info and interests about one another. With that being said keeping the cross dressing a secret was a bad idea from the get-go so don't expect her to be so open about it since she has never seen you do it and in her eyes she feels it's threatening to the relationship because that's not what she signed up for. You don't need counseling. You just need to have a long talk with your gf and discuss the future you want to have with or without her becuase of you little secret.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-07 20:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by pheirmeizer001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she want you to go to counseling? Because she wants you to psychologically and emotionally healthy, or because she wants a counselor to 'cure' you of this 'disease'? If it's the latter, then I think you should sit down and talk to her. Cross-dressing isn't a disease. Don't get me wrong; counseling is always good, no matter what, but if you go into it thinking that you'll be fixed of this, that it is a bad thing, rather than something you should rationally explore and get to the bottom of, and decide if you still want to do it, then you are pre-empting yourself.
Frankly, I don't find it that big a deal. I love guys who cross-dress, and if your girlfriend wants you to change, even after you explain your feelings, then I'd give her, not your cross-dressing, a big consideration.
Good luck!
P.S.- if you do go to counseling, I'd go as yourself, but definitely discuss 'Michaela' as early as possible.
2006-11-07 19:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were wearing women's clothes just for a laugh she must not take it that seriously. But if it's been going for quite a while now, then you should go to a councilor. Don't go with the idea in your head that you will cut this habit. Go with the tought that you will find your real sexuality, whether it's Michael or Michaela.
Sounds like your girlfriend loves you but if you find out that you're Michaela, will she stay with you? Talk to her about this.
2006-11-07 19:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Riana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering what either of you feel will come out of sitting in a room telling some total stranger that you enjoy the feeling of wearing female attire, You are who you are, I would wonder your age, her age and how long you have been Crossdressing, Somethings in life are meant to be as they are, there will be times you will get angry at yourself and want to throw all the clothes away you have collected and try to deny any and all the feelings you have dealt with in the past relating to crossdressing, I would say if she wont try and enjoy it with you then go find someone who will, either they will enjoy it with you (like Cando_86) they will tolerate it as long as they dont have to see you in it, or they will say its to much for them to deal with and want to move on, its not as easy as it seems moving on and hoping to find a new gf that will be accepting,, its not exactly topic of discussion at the dinner table for most people, either way,, Good Luck, I know what your going thru, I've been there, " Be What You Is, Not What You Ain't, Cuz If You Ain't What You Is, You Is What You Ain't " <---- It just says "Be YourSelf" try the forum at www.crossdressers.com you can feel at ease, talk, ask questions, look thru the many questions asked,, it may help a bit too,
2006-11-07 21:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest you check into the topic of crossdressing. There are organizations for heterosexual males who like to crossdress.
Crossdressing exists on a continuum from the heterosexual who simply likes to wear articles of women's clothing sometimes all the way to the male or female transsexual who feels that he or she is living in the wrong body.
The latter person will many times opt to have surgery to change gender to the opposite sex so that he/she feels "at home" in his/her body.
You're a long way from that at this point, and you may never get there. But it will be important for you to figure out what's comfortable for you.
Young crossdressers' mates most often will not stay with them because they don't understand it. As the years go by, mates many times choose to stay and accept their mates' need to crossdress.
You can start learning by looking at the link below.
2006-11-07 19:12:54 · answer #6 · answered by KIT J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel any anxiety about this aspect of your life? If so, counselling would probably be good.
OTOH if you'd just be doing it to make her happy... well, how badly do you want her to stay? If this is the only issue between you, it would probably still be worth going to counselling... if she'll go with you. (If this is the situation, I'd recommend finding someone with experience in both gender issues and couples therapy though.)
2006-11-07 20:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by angiekaos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have dressed in womans clothes since I was 5 years old. I am 45 now and have no problem getting dates. my g/f is 27 yrs my senior and knew whens he asked me out 8 years ago. My own mother has given me some of her tuff bbecause she didn't like them anymore and was cleaning out her closet for new stuff. obviously it is your g/f who needs a reality check. unless you are confused on what your sexuality is you need to sit her down and be open and honest. If she seems to opoen up a little tel her to try a little love making while you have on her undies. she might just turn around . If not its time to move on.
2006-11-08 08:21:40 · answer #8 · answered by George G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy and comfortable with your lifestyle, then there is no need for any counseling at all. If you are uncertain however, then you need a counselor. You are hurting noone by your actions are you not? Enjoy what you feel is right in this matter.
2006-11-07 23:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by cadaholic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick her to the curb. You like to cross dress, and this threatens her. Instead why not ask her to go shopping and help you buy things?
Counseling might help, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that
2006-11-07 18:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋