I asked my man not to hang out at his ex-wife's house w/ his son, was I wrong?

Question

I dont think its right that he hangs out at her house to visit his son, while she's there. He is old enough to be alone. Its not for an hour its more like 5 hours, so my question is...Was I wrong to tell him not to be hanging out at her house? He can take him somewhere else and yes he takes him every other weekend. I need some advice please.

He's my b/f and Im not insecure. I dont think theyre getting it on. I just see it as disrespectful since I brought it to his attention and he said he wouldnt, and just now I called him and hes still there!!! Since 4pm!!

PS: I know he's not just hanging out with his son, he eats there goes online, watches TV...I think what really bothers me is that he acts like theyre still married and he lives there.

Answer 1

No you are not wrong!

If they are separated then he has no business spending that amount of time under the pretense of visiting his son that he has on some weekends.

My ex tried hanging out at my place and even though my boyfriend lives with me, he would still try to get me to mess around with him. He has been re-married for 10 years and still tries to get me to "get away" with him.

There is a reason that your man hangs out at her house and I doubt that it is the kid. He is going through the motions of still living with her and it is wrong of him to be doing that if he has any consideration for your feelings.

Everyone here is saying "trust him" and "he should spend time with his son"
Well dear, you can not trust him because he failed you when he told you he would stop and he has the chance to spend time with his son and does not have any excuse to be at her house.
Trust is one thing...denial and blindness are another!
Your relationship already has a poor foundation...why keep building on it?

Answer 2

you have trust issues if you don't trust him then you need to let him go I think a man should spend as much time as he can with his kids especially if the don't live in the same house. I have 4 step children and there father does not see the kids but maybe 1 a year they have great resentment towards him for this. I say if he is seeing his son no matter where it is at he should be co mended I have great respect for any parent who will take the time to be with there kids. I had a great life with my dad I know he had other kids even though he dint see them he at least took responsibility for us. He died when I was 16 at least I had that much time with him

Answer 3

You may not have to worry about this question too long. It's hard after a breakup, sometimes harder on a kid then any adult could imagine. I know 5 hours may seem like alot, but to a kid hanging with dad could just be a blink of a second. Talk with your man and ask him if anything is going on? Who broke up with who?
Ask if she is always there? Let him know your concerns and fears. But keep in mind she is his ex for a reason, and he is with you. Don't make him choice. Family is always first.

Answer 4

regrettably, no count the type you sense approximately his ex being there it probable won't replace. As you reported, they have been married and in that element they are going to greater desirable than probably have developed a good courting along with her. additionally, they do have grandchildren and my wager is they are calling the hot toddler their grandchild because it avoids questions from the different teenagers and does no longer create any animosity in direction of the hot baby from the two grandchildren. there is not any reason that this new baby should not be welcomed and enjoyed via your boyfriends mum and dad. you apart from could reported that your boyfriend's ex has at present been abandoned via the toddler's father and doubtless you ought to take a step returned and view that this lady could prefer the greater desirable help that your boyfriend's mum and dad are offering for her. Any new mom desires help which in a fabulous style of cases is won from her important different although, while the courting breaks down as this one has different each and every physique is mandatory to fill the hollow. Please additionally evaluate that many new mothers be stricken by postnatal melancholy that could properly be led to or exaccerbated via the breakdown of their courting. I honestly do no longer think of that this lady is there to attempt and make you sense undesirable or demanding or jealous - she purely desires somewhat being concerned, compassion and records on the 2nd with the aid of her concern. i understand the way this occasion makes you sense although, because it stands i could say that there is amazingly little which you're able to do and harbouring those thoughts in direction of your boyfriends ex will purely serve to reason issues on your courting. i could recommend which you attempt to handle those thoughts and then placed them aside.

Answer 5

ha ha i feel for you girl my husband use to hang out and use the computer till all hours of the night at the mother of his children's house we have the kids every weekend and her now husband at the time boyfriend lived there so i do not think he was banging her but after about a month of dating i put a stop to the hanging out there to its not right and it is very disrespectful... Good Luck to you and lay the law down there will be no "friendship" with the ex

Answer 6

Touchy, do you trust your man, are you sure he is faithful, if so, then trust him. This really is good for the child if his parents can maintain a good friendship, and spend time as a family. Although, you have to be sure he is faithful to you, and that the relationship with her is totally just friendship. Talk to your man and about how you feel about the situation, however, if they have moved on from eachother and are spending time with their son together for his benifit, then leave it alone, its nice to see a divorced couple put their differances aside and put the children first for a change.

Answer 7

Coming from a father, your man is over there 5 hours every weekend to see his son. Not to see the woman that he isn't with. He's with you 163 other hours a week, not her. If you don't want to seem pushy or overbearing, don't ever get in the way of a father and son. He loves his son and he loves you. Don't get jealous.

Answer 8

I think it is wonderful that he wants to see his son. Do you encourage him to bring the boy home to your house to hang with him? Get the lad interested in a sport and go along to his practices and games. Cook the kids favorite meal mid-week and invite him over. Find lots of ways to have them both with you often. Don't ask your boy friend to choose between you and his son. You will lose that one. Become chatty friends with the kids mother.

Answer 9

This is just my opinion, I agree with you, first of all that relationship is ended, the only thing they have in common is their son. What she does in her life is her business and vice verse. It might be giving their son false hope that mommy and daddy will get back together. It also might be out of guilt. I would try to encourage them to go places on their own to reestablish their new relationship and encourage you to be patient. I come from a divorce background(my parents) so my opinion comes from my experience and if I look back on it today. I'm 46 and its not uncommon for parents to react like that. Its getting used to the new way of life and trying to fit into it. I would also say that this is a delicate subject for your bf and just try to be understanding and supportive, not saying you haven't already. There is nothing wrong with him picking his son up and saying hello but for hanging out there, no, that will cause problems it already has....wanting to spend time with his son, nothing wrong at all, bringing his son to your/his home nothing wrong with it, wanting to spend time alone with his son is wonderful, beautiful and very much apart of his heart. Hope this helps,,,,,kat - again just my opinion

Answer 10

you weren't 100% in the wrong just 99% but he should be able to bring the kid to your guy's house or take him somewhere but if his ex wife won't let him do that then you can't tell him not to! Imagine if some one told your dad that he can't hang out with you at your moms house, how would you feel, not havin a dad around?