He is very sick and he is deteriorating rapidly. I've been warned to think twice about going to visit him as I might be shocked when I see him, apparently he doesn't even know you're there anymore nor can he communicate anymore. I can't decide whether to go because if I go there it would only make me sad and depressed and it may be the last image I have of him.
What should I do?
2006-11-07 15:12:40 · 24 answers · asked by Rachel R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
After losing his hair from chemo, my grandfather told me himself that he didn't want me seeing him like that, so sick looking. I just ignored him and kept visiting him for as long as I could anyway. He was the neatest person I ever knew. I didn't want to miss out on any chance to spend anytime with him no matter how sick he was.
It won't be the image you have of him.
2006-11-07 15:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Really you should just follow your heart.Ask yourself this question, will you feel guilty if you don't go or would you rather remember him aas he was before he got so sick?It's really a tough situation and I know it is a hard choice to make. If nothing else write a letter telling him how much you love him and will miss him and maybe add a few things you remember doing together, have someone read it to him. That way even if you can't go yourself and see him you can atleast be sure he knows how much you love him and you can say your good byes and have some measure of closure; this will make it easier for you when he does pass, you won't feel as if you left things unsaid. Best wishes to you with whatever decision you make.
2006-11-07 15:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by chinadoll31645 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough call, but you may regret it later on if you don't go and see him. He may not be able to comunicate, but I know he can feel your presence and hear your voice. I have worked in long term care for a long time, so, what to expect when you see him is the following. He will be alot skinnier that you remember, maybe even shockingly skinny, his breathing may be laboured, wheezy or a panting type breathing. His hands will be cold, he may be sweaty. Death is not a scary thing, it is a part of life, and when people are close to the end, it can be a very peaceful time. I think you should go and see him, it will be hard, but you will feel better that you went and said goodbye, like I said, he may not be able to respond, but he CAN hear you, and feel your presance. Good luck and I am sorry for this hard time in your life. Find comfot in knowing that once he passes, he will not suffer anymore, and be at peace.
2006-11-07 15:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person is dying, the last sense to go is hearing. He may not let you know he knows you are there but he very well may know. It depends on the relationship you always had with him - I would say go and try and remember the good times with him. Try to remember him before he was sick. The body is the just the shell. The real person is still inside.
2006-11-07 15:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by Cherry Blossom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a question that can only be answered by you. Some people need closure. You have to decide whether or not you want to see him...maybe to tell him that he will always be in your heart. The image should not be ruined by seeing him sick, because you always have memories of seeing him and talking to him and being with him while he was well. Again, it's really up to you.
2006-11-07 15:17:35 · answer #5 · answered by Ofie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to go if you are able. Is it a short distance? Did you have a close relationship? Are you a big close family? If you answered yes then by going you would be supporting and comforting to the other family members. Perhaps they will share memories of your grandfather that you can Cherish the rest of your life. Stories of his youth or his love for you that you were not even aware of. I hope this helps. Death is never easy for those of us left behind. You see when he passes he won't suffer anymore. I know it sound corny. I will keep you in my prayers and hope this all passes peacefully for you.
2006-11-07 15:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by kathie f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that your grandfathers body doesnt reflect his soul. Its a shell of the real person. If he looks sick or isnt what you are used to him being just remeber the good images when you see him. I think you should see him if hes dying. I know youve said he cant communicate, but presence is a wonderful thing. Im positive he would be happy to know you are there even if he cant express it.
2006-11-07 15:16:26 · answer #7 · answered by *sweet sugar* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray #1 and If u are skeptical about going then u shouldn't, You will more than likely be sad, and I think u should remember him as he was and not for who he has become. In this case u want to remember the old him, b/c he is just not himself. I am sorry for ur situation and whatever u decide to do is the best for u. I hope and pray he stays around a lot longer!!!!!!
2006-11-07 15:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by HIGHLY FAVORED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, how old are you. Every human,live and die in this world so don't be too sad and depressed.If you are below 10's then don't go but do not forget to pray for him. Above then that, I think you should go not only pray but be feel by him for the last time as he living to another world where our Lord Chirst is waiting. God Bless All. Amen.
2006-11-07 21:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see your grandfather...fond memories of great times together through your life will replace the shock of how he looks now...living with the regret of not getting to tell him you Love him plus give yourself closure lasts a life time! God Bless you both!
2006-11-08 01:39:03 · answer #10 · answered by lil redneck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋