help with this one....?

Question

will a man 42 married 20plus years .......cheat on his wife and leave her and his family (4 children)......for a 21 year old.......he has a new car. a new place to live and yet his family stuggles and its like he doesnt care yes he sees the kids and p;ays support but im talking on a emotional level its only been a few months since the split...he doesnt talk to the wife.and when he does he is usually short and nasty.....almost like the wife is to blame......she thought them happy did thy have problems yes every marriage does but always trusted him and tried to talk about things gave him every chance to talk.....and still he broke her heart.........can anyone enlighten me as to why he feels no remorse why after 20 plus years he can just walk away and not care at all....does he hate the wife.....does the new girl mean more to him .please explain help her understand.......

Answer 1

she makes him feel younger. and he doesnt know how to deal with the fact that his wife and kids are a constant reminder that he is old.

Answer 2

It's not that he hates his wife. The fact is that he feels that things will be easier anywhere than at home. He is running away from his responsibility. Which indicates that he has some where to run to. (The Other Woman) There are two sides to every story and I am sure that his wife and children would tell a different story. I know a man who left his wife after 34 years of marriage. He never spoke to her again. When she died seven years later he was devastated. The new girl doesn't mean more to him than his wife. She is his escape. Men don't like confrontation. Particularly when then they are the source of the problem. Tell the new girl she should be careful. She has to be prepared to comfort him when he begins to get depressed about leaving his house, family, friends. He walked away from his life. In addition he could start to treating her the same way he treated his wife.

Answer 3

He doesn't hate his wife, its just that the 21 year old makes him feel young again and he thinks he's missing out on something. But little does he know the 21year old probally looks at him as her sugar daddy and when a nice looking male her age comes around and catches her eye and refers to the 42 year old as her father he'll wake up and realize that the grass was not greener on the other side and he'll want his family back lets just hope that it's capable of being worked out. Right now he just acting like an old fool.

Answer 4

while you may have had the door open to talk he may not have felt like he could. It's probably easier for him to blame you than to face up to what he's done. If he is with the new girl then yes she means more to him than you do. He is the only one who can answer why he walked away. Unfortunately until he is ready to tell you why you just have to wait it out and try to move forward with you life. You have four kids to help get you through one day at a time.

Answer 5

He doesn't feel any remorse because he is not capable of being repsonsible....Its all about him....He's living in a fantasy world with his trophy wife....He thinks so much of himself...theres no room for anyone else....
He's nasty because deep inside he knows he effed you over....and your kids....but he dont wanta think about that now.....cuz he's all into His "new" fantasy world......There is nothing you could have done to make him not go where he is....
He's just an ***......
Go on and make the best of your life.....Ms. Thang of his will leave him for someone else one day...when she's 31 she will look at his ole 52 yr old butt and think....damn...what was i thinking???......He will be on Viagra...and she will be working on her another 30 -40 yr old.........they will both reap what they sow.......
You and your kids deserve far better than that.......Don't you mourn and waste your time feeling bad about losing a loser like that who would treat you and his own babies like they didn't matter.....

Answer 6

kelly: Strange you should ask this question because I know of a guy I work with who just did the same thing. He was married to his wife for 30 years then, another woman came into his life. He left his wife for the woman. Eventually, the woman grew tired of him and dumped him. He now, drinks like a fish and is very depressed. I think he now, realizes what he had before he threw it all away for the other woman. Yes; it was stupid and dumb for him to go down that route and end up a sorry drunk . I often think of his wife and how she gave of herself to please him all for nought. He's the one now, reaping what he has sown - no doubt !!! He was in love with his wife and in lust with the woman who stole him away, used him and then, dumped him .

Answer 7

i dont know. im sorry you are in this situation. sounds alot like what my mom went through. my dad left my mom for a woman 20 years younger than him with fake boobs and blonde hair. my mom was also married for about 18 years. she had 2 kids. me , im 19 now and he left us when i was 4 an dmy brother whm is 15 and left him when he was only 6 months old. you will need to talk to him, try to just so you can get some closure as to what happened between you guys. it is good that he's still paying his child support though. it takes 2 to make a marriage work. it takes 2 to make any relationship work. relationships are alot of hard work and whatever you do do not blame yourself.

Just please be strong and just lean on your kids for support. you are lucky thoght that he's still paying child support and not fighting for custody over the kids. my dad always dragged my mom to court so he wouldnt have to pay child support..so all of her money would always go into lawyer fees and such. my dad never bothered to fight over us though he told my mom once "i wouldnt care if you guys lived out on the streets"

just stay strong and support your kids with whatever they do and listen to them.
good luck

the only answer i think any of us will be able to give you is to try talking to him to see what happened.
\hope for the best..

Answer 8

He is going through a midlife crisis. 42yr old leave wife for a 21yr old....Thats what it sounds like....He will only have fun until the 21yr old gets tired of his old tail...Or the other way around...Child support is going to kick his butt with 4 kids....There is always two sides to a story so that little 21yr old better watch out, because she may have nothing but a dogg....

Answer 9

don't know what to tell ya, you never know whats going on in someones head and what they are thinking about when they do something like this, for me I'm 43 and was married 13 years had our share of problems too, thought we were soul mates, after two months of separation she found someone else and hasn't really spoke to me in year, every time we have spoken she has been ungratefully and nasty as well, I admit I made my share of mistakes but then again she hasn't been a perfect angel either, so go figure, It almost sounds like he his hooked on drugs and is in a state of denial. but its hard saying not knowing.

Answer 10

Could be mid-life crisis. Take a look at this website, I think it will answer a lot of your questions.
Just remember this: It's not your fault. These are HIS issues, & he's dealing with it in an immature, & irresponsible way.
Go ahead, check it out.http://www.midlifewivesclub.com/