I really didn't know that another man is the father of my little girl. I just realized that he couldn't be the father because of incompatible blood types. The problem is that we are soooo happy, especially him as a father, and she as his daughter. She is 2.5 years old. I don't think it is fair for him to raise her since she is not his, but I think telling him the truth will Destroy him. Should I just take this secret to the grave? Believe me, it is the truth is eating me alive, but I deserve it. I just wanted to sew my oats once before I settled down...what an idiot. Please ladies, don't make this mistake.
2006-11-07 14:09:46 · 18 answers · asked by One I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't tell him.
We all make mistakes. It is just better the way it is.
He might not take it well. We are that way.
maybey in your rocking chairs at 65...
Move on.
Speak no more of this.
2006-11-07 14:14:55 · answer #1 · answered by Kaustaub 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be honest the the man you are with. My daughter was in the same situation. She was honest about the situation from the beginning. The real father stepped forward when he saw my grandson looked just like him and went to the Attorney General and requested a paternity test. He put himself on child support. My grandson had a wonderful relationship with his real father. A sad note to this story is that the real father was recently killed in a car accident. My grandson is now 4 years old. I think it would have been terrible for him to not know his real father. The man she has been with all this time has vowed to care for him as his own. She has 5 year old twin girls with him and he loves them all equally. I know that she is lucky. I wish you best whatever decision you make.
2006-11-07 23:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by kathie f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just now realized the possibility? The only way to know for sure is a DNA test. You have to tell him the truth, it will make you sick if you don't. If you don't tell him it may become obvious as she gets older, and you will become the target of ridicule and shame. Get the test and put it to rest. You will either be very relieved and can move forward a wiser woman or you will still be relieved and and if he loves her, he will still be her father.
2006-11-07 22:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by Quicksilver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to know!!! Living the lie will kill you!!!!
You may be depriving the real father out there of being a father !You will have to tell the little girl too!!
If he really loves you and the daughter, then he will stay and be an awesome step-dad to her and maybe could adopt your daughter if the real father doesn't care!!
2006-11-07 22:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you could always try and get a dna test just to make sure. But your right...you should tell him, let him make the choice if he wants to continue to still be her Daddy (even if he is not). But if you hide it from him, if he ever finds out, it could just make things worse. My exhusband, when we got together-about 3mo. later I found out I was preganant...I told him I was not sure it was his....but when I found out by the due date that she was not...I was devistated. But he told me that he loved me and loved the baby and he would be her daddy if I would let him. We got married and had 2more kids together. He is a great dad to my kids.
I wish you lots of luck on this.
2006-11-07 22:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM!!!
I know it's easier said then done, but face it, you have to say something now - cause it will eventually happen. And you want to do it the right way!
THere's still a chance you'll all get through this. It does happen.
2006-11-07 22:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by lucky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U are right that it will destroy him but..you have to tell him honey..You made a mistake once... don't make another mistake by taking it to the grave, it's unfair for him ..
2006-11-07 22:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You must tell him even though it's hard for you and harder for him. What if, one day, there's some medical problem and then everyone finds out that they are not compatible?
Just face the music.
If he loves you and the baby, he'll probably stick around.
Good luck!
2006-11-07 22:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why ruin it for the both of them. They are so happy. Besides unless you had an actual paternity test, I wouldn't rule anything out.
2006-11-07 22:15:57 · answer #9 · answered by Alessa 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you've got to confess, talk to your clergyman.
Don't confess to the father. It will ease your concious just as well by telling the pastor as it will be telling the father, and it will not really screw things up.
2006-11-07 22:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by Trailcook 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋