I feel so bad, what should I do?

Question

my girlfriends uncle is in hospital and in a very bad way, I made a prommise to her last night that he would be ok and make it through his ordeal, insted I get a message from her saying that she now has to stay in Perth, WA because he has got worse...
I just emailed her to say how sorry I am about making that now broken prommise :(..........i just hope he makes it but what she now needs is support, she has it from her aunt-uncles wife, her uncles mate and me of course but I am wondering should I fly there from Launceston, Tas to be with her and help her through this???

Ideas please and GENUINE ANSWERS ONLY
I feel so terrable and just want to be there with her but dont know if it'll make her feel even worse or not..

Mitch

I cant just let her go cause I love her with all my heart and I always will love her no matter what happens.

Answer 1

k, first, never feel bad about giving someone comfort. second, never make promises about things outside of your direct control. third, realize that your job is to be there for your girl, to respond to her. if possible, perhaps plan a way to go to her during the weekend. above all, listen. theres no need to offer advise or make false assurances. this is neither your fault nor under your control. simply be there, to hear, to comfort. to assure her that what she feels is ok. be prepared to deal with guilt, to be punished with misdirected anger, to hold her through crushing sadness. let her do what ever she needs to to get through her (possible) loss. be optimistic but realistic. be helpful, but unobtrusive. this is about family, and no matter how close you are, to the rest of the family, you are an outsider. you are there for her, and to be helpful if possible. be her strength. go to her if you can, if you cant, be available here, and ask her what she needs. she will tell you, and love you for asking.

Answer 2

Victoria, i'm sorry to hearken to that there is quite disrespect at your residence---yet a 33 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous won't in any respect flow out if mom is dottering and spoiling him---why ought to he bypass?? difficulty is he won't in any respect study a thank you to peacefully co-exist with a woman on a mature point...what a shame. you additionally are witnessing quite crude disrespectful habit that comes from being relatives and residing at the same time a number of those years. To an intruder this all sounds undesirable--to you and your brother it relatively is basically on a regular basis residing. So say no in case you need to--he won't explode or turn blue. relax, be cool, be outstanding, and sturdy success-----SMILE

Answer 3

Well promise or no promise you can promise anything like that. You just don't know what is going on with that person's body. You promised in hopes that he would be ok. Well I wouldn't fly out there anytime soon. I think I would wait to fly out until something happens. Like a funeral, that is when she will really need you. Just hold on and do what your doing from miles away, being supportive. But until the moment comes, and hopefully it won't but just incase then you will be able to go out.

Answer 4

Hi MItch

Firstly - you made the promise only to make her feel better - she will understand that. You haven't done anything wrong.

Just keep telling her how much you love her & keep giving her support - why not fly to Perth if you can & if she wants you by her side? She will appreciate your love and caring for her, just be her rock at this time.

Answer 5

My dad once promised me that he would never leave me and he passed away! These are the kind of promises that mean you have the support from people who mean the most to you and if anything happens you will be there . We all want to promise the bad things will not happen. You should not feel guilty about it! If I were you I would go and be with her. This would be a very big plus on your part. Go see her she needs you!

George, Oh Boy Oh Pal! You need to get a life!

Answer 6

Oh my gosh you are the sweetest guy ever. If you flew there to stay with her she would probably feel better about the whole thing. Boyfriends can give a different kind of support than family. She may really need that. If you have the time and money go show her how much she really means to you.
Good luck.

Answer 7

First of all, while your promise was nice it could not be counted on. It is not like you control her uncle's health.

If you can go to where she is, that is wonderful and would be a great help to her. Just remember that in situations like this your being there for her, not necessarily physically, is what is most important. You can only be there for her, you cannot control the situation. What she needs is someone to listen to her and a shoulder to cry on. You do not have to fix anything.

Do not go out of guilt for that promise. Go to support your friend.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 8

G'day Mitch!
Ok - you don't have to feel bad cos her uncle's health is not under your control. I guessed you were just trying to make her feel better... ok, now to go or not to go the Perth. If you have the means to go, then get on the flight. She'll appreciate you being there for her. Good luck!

Answer 9

if her uncle is a very very important person in her life... then i think you should fly there to be with her while she goes through this. if not... just let her know that you're available for her whenever she needs to talk. it's always difficult to go through times like these... especially when someone you love has to go through it because these are situtaions you cannot control and all you can do is pray for things to go well.

Answer 10

You made a prejudgement without the appropriate medical knowledge. Say that you are sorry and shouldn't have made a promise that you can't keep. Buy some flowers, and visit her. Take her out to eat too.