Im mad, betrayed, wanted revenge... but at thesame time I still have feelings for my husband. (soon to be ex) .... How can I pick-up the pieces and move on?..
2006-11-07 14:01:08 · 29 answers · asked by R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not knowing all of the reasons here are putting limits on the answers we'll be able to give to you. knowing the pain you have in your hart from first hand experience bring back the past and get me felling sorry for your.
your starting up a long path, your felling mad and betrayed, so I would think he left you or he was the one that cheated? but at the same time you still have feelings for your husband, love isn't just something you have the power to turn off, if this was the case you wouldn't be here right now.
all i can tell you is life does go on and everyone has his/her own way of dealing with such devastation in their lives, find anything that keep your mind busy, i for one worked, i went in early and stayed late, and at the lowest point i was working from 4am to 11pm knowing that all i wanted to do was work and sleep for if i had the time all i would end up doing was thinking about the past and how i wished everything could have been different for us.
you need to keep your thoughts on what your doing at that time and keep your head held up high as your going to become a better person from this experience. in no way should you feel that you deserved this and if we're reading it correctly it was him that did this to you so remember that not all men end up repeting what other men have done in the past. you'll in time find the man that will treat you as his queen and your life will be as you allway wanted it to be just pure heven on earth.
your going to hear this from everyone that as time goes on the pain you have will not ever go away completly, you will learn to see it as a learning experience and use it from time to time, be strong and keep living your life, in time this will be in your past. good luck with starting over and remember that it's your trun to be in control of everything once your ready to be...
2006-11-07 14:42:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear lady: how I do remember the waves of anger and sadness in trying to move forward after and during my divorce last year. My husband of 13 years began an affair with a friend of mine of 10 years about this time last year, it truly was the most awful and tormenting time I have ever been through. There is no pain and no lonliness like that. One year later I would be lying if I told you that there are days every now and then that the pain comes back, but it does not last long. I can remember talking to my ex and in one sentence telling him that I loved him and wanted him back and in the same breath calling him every name in the book and threatening to kill him....it was sick. My advice to you, as hard as it is - refuse to respond or react to those crazy emotions, they pass, if you just hold tight and do nothing, they pass. Grace and dignity, its the only way to go. It is hard. Keep busy with your friends. I did the online dating thing and met some really nice people and made some new friends. Good luck to you, it will get better.
2006-11-07 14:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by a_cervantez05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sleeping with someone else is not the answer. That will only cause you to have mixed emotions and make you confused. Don't displace your emotions and affections for you ex on to someone else. Take this time to take care of yourself. Start dating when you feel like you are ready. You and only you will know when that time is. Focus on making a plan for change, and start your life again. As you begin to live your life over again. find a reason to laugh and smile everyday. As the days go by you will see that you have picked up the pieces and moved on. Good Luck to you. I wish you well.
2006-11-07 14:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by msladykm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been marriage twice and divoced twice. you can move on!!!! Woman are stronger now. You may feel like you cant make it without him, but you can. My second husband and I had kids that we still fight over to this day and we have been divorced 4 years. I have wanted revenge on him for so long, but Im better than that. Get out have fun forgot about him!!
2006-11-07 14:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by CabbyChristine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know theres a stigma but dont write off proffessional counseling. it can do wonders to talk to an uninvolved third party.
some things to do: get a makeover, treat yourself to some new clothes, meet up with some girlfriends and have a friends night out, start dating other people (you may feel its too soon but keep it casual), get a pet or hobby (these can be quite rewarding), never underestimate the break-up "tape" So over it music can be quite empowering. Dont expect your feelings for your ex to end over-nite. marriage bonds people together and when it doesnt work it can be quite traumatic.
some vengeful things to do: steal his credit card and go hog-wild, liquidate joint checking, post flyers of him all over town advertising his "STD", post his profile and pic on dontdatehimgirl.com, bury his car in snow, hide raw fish and meat throughout his house, play ding dong ditch with a burning bag of poo, send letters and photos of him to lonely male prisoners. (these latter suggestions are silly and probably not very therapeutic)
good luck
2006-11-07 14:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by guitar_lady81 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fine someone else. Find out what your soon to be ex is doing and make sure you and the new guy kiss in front of him and make a little giggle. More like soon to be jealous husband!
2006-11-07 14:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by Nick Jonas's Wifey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing by the way you worded your question that he cheated on you... that is always hard to bounce back from I have been cheated on 3 times and yes I am guy. and NEVER cheated on the woman I was with..it will get better .it will just take some time.. go out on a date with another person. and if you start to think about getting back with him.just remember once a person cheats they will allways cheat. they may say they will never do it again and may be good for a while but they will start cheating again. so just hang in there. it gets better . go out with your friends and get your mind off of him. you will find someone who will treat you right. they are out there..
2006-11-07 14:07:48 · answer #7 · answered by gkiesel35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about something else. hobbies? your favorite animals? go to a concert or a hike up the mountains. or even find another man. take some pics of wild life, go on a roller coaster, eat ice cream, o anything that will get the betrayer off your mind. he is a loser and u are too good for him. and good luck, i hope you made the right choice, you are the best of what you are,. ....all i can say is good luck!!!
2006-11-07 14:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by Tim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is said that however long you were together, it takes half of that time to get over him. That should give you a light at the end of the tunnel, a goal, or just something to look forward to. To know that you will get through it!!! Good Luck, girl. Be Strong!!!
2006-11-07 14:06:17 · answer #9 · answered by Sonia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is surround yourself with good company (close friends and family) and in a few months... if you feel you're ready to get back out there and start dating again, throw yourself a party and have your friends invite potential suitors.... that's always fun. i think you'll be able to overcome this if you really wanted to. and it's always best to rise above an unfortunate mishap and show everyone and prove to yourself that you won't let anything KEEP you down. it's okay to grieve about it... but only for so long. and i'm serious about that party thing. it gives you a chance to look your best AND to meet great guys... well, they should be great if your friends are friends with them. anyway! good luck with that... take care.
2006-11-07 14:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋